When there is a choice

Many of us get the feeling his helplessness in front of life. Life can be weird, and in a moment the collapse of all our plans. This unknown and illogical power is frightening. Give up. Belief in own ability to change anything goes on the eyes. It seems that the forces are not equal.





Crises and warriors, fruitless and endless struggle with illness or addiction, the inability to affect even its own weight, health and relationships is depressing.The human body in the long run – Autonomous system. We don't need to monitor the performance of the liver and kidneys, we may not know where are located our internal organs. We know where is our car, but where are our spleen, we can not know. The whole system is working regardless of our awareness of it. All the instincts necessary for survival, which is enabled by default.

 

Nature has ensured that we have been able to survive and continue the race, it is not delving into what is happening.
Our mental activity is arranged on the same principle. The spectrum of what we understand compared to what is in the area of our unconscious, negligible.

Hundreds and thousands of generations, nature has developed a win-win system that enables us to live your life without taking over the function of management and control.Most of the algorithms of behavior, ways of interacting with the world, attitude, resolution, and happiness, the choice of the disease, the ability to build relationships and to be in them, and even life expectancy and cause of death are passed from mother to daughter and from father to son.

Such heritability allows a family to survive and maintain its unique way of interacting with the world, and man to slide on the rails, which once paved the ancestors.

System continuity is very well built – something that is not genetically transmitted, will be transmitted by words, behavior, unspoken and unconscious rules of existence.

Little man will absorb with mother's milk, read on the sight of my father will see on the faces of the grandmother – all these approval and disapproval, how to live, whom and how to love than to ache, what to dream what is possible and what is impossible – will be absorbed and integrated unconsciously. Just because it is a basic mechanism of survival of any population.

In this system, all good, except one – there is absolutely no choice.

The autonomy of our bodies, his disposition to our unconscious impulses and a huge amount of what we ourselves are not aware of – makes us helpless when we decide something in my life to change.

It is unclear why the body gets sick or fat, does not obey bans, does not allow us to fulfill the promises. The world around us reacts inexplicably – does not give us what we so desperately need – money, love, relationships, health, sustainability, security.

As the raging element, life is our boat in the vast waters of the world ocean. And where's the steering wheel control - who knows...

“bessoznatelnoe personality, the less her choice.” Marion Woodman ( known ungenskii psychoanalyst).The way to management starts with awareness, with understanding, with the revitalizing feeling pulses of your own body. After all, we can begin to understand their body and engage in dialogue with him, with their addiction or illness. We can learn to see the mechanisms of his world order. How our life turns out, and not otherwise. In what ways to we come to money, success, security, love.

And gradually our lives will cease to be unpredictable element that exists independently of us. And our body is the enemy, a traitor and a monster, living for some laws, and will become us.

The path to awareness is long and not simple. What had not read and did not understand suddenly becomes clear. And the level of readiness to make that is decisive – whether people develop or not. If he can afford to hear yourself.

over the years of our life we have formed our own unique ways of protection from external and internal reality.We can interact with the world through disease. It can be the shield that protects us from responsibility, from dislike, from the emptiness of life; helps to get something very important, that no disease can not to take. And then abandon the disease, is still, to remain without life goals, without very important part of yourself.

Our weight, the ability to drown out the food anxiety, uncertainty, sadness, relieve stress – a great way to meet the hunger for love, understanding, acceptance, intimacy, sex. Food can be a wonderful host each other and quivering, filling her lover.

Alcohol is a wonderful way to feel the lightness of being, detachment from any problems, be cheerful, happy and stupid and irresponsible.

We have lots of ways to help yourself to face reality to a minimum and to live in his own fantasy world in their grievances, fantasies, dreams; in a familiar, impenetrable scenarios of behavior; in a constant struggle with themselves and the world around them.

in the structure of personality is “a function of ego” – to make a choice and implement “move to” to the project, person, refrigerator.To make a selection, this function need to rely on the one hand, to the needs of man, his “true wish”, his feelings, sensations and instincts. And on the other hand, the representation of the person about himself, about what is possible and what is not, experience, habitual behaviour. And if any of these two items something is wrong, the function of the ego is responsible for conscious personal choice, just doesn't work.

People are chaotically rushing from one object to another, or does nothing; suffers, suffers and complains on and on that unknown force that had sent him such tests.

Often very difficult to understand what he wants and what directs his choice.Fear? The pain of the previous experience? Habit? Mother's words sounding in his head? The hunger for love, food? Why he walks in a circle, stumbles upon the same rake and organizes itself, around life, and not otherwise. What is it that drives his actions. Why his life is such.

Often people without access to based on his own actions, I believe that there is something controlling their life that will inform their lives, sending them to certain people, illness and trials. They fight in the hope to change anything or try to negotiate with great power.

The force with which we are all trying to agree on – our unconscious.This chasm, where the hidden motives of all our actions, all our experience, beginning with conception, the experience of our family and many, unconscious secrets.

Not a single person able to fully understand their own unconscious, but still increasing the level of understanding of themselves, their awareness, we make choices for ourselves.

Whether to go the path of ancestors, enjoy their ways of interacting with the world or enter into the already known picture of your own.

We can't abandon tribal relations, from his experience, has made us who we become, but we can expand its capabilities by becoming more agile, shifted the once rigid framework “and not otherwise”.

If several generations of your family have chosen Oncology as a way to cope with their life problems, then maybe you can find another way in the same paradigm, but not fatal.

If all your female commanded you to sacrifice yourself - how is the best way of interacting with the world. For example, to become “wife of a Decembrist” ( an alcoholic, a loser, a sick person) and grin and bear your cross, constantly giving a part of yourself, your femininity, your health, your beauty or your body, cutting yourself a piece.( At the level of the body life is to “sacrifice himself” is solved with a disease that requires surgery).

If women in your family, it was difficult to be women and they had Svayzinvest to hide with the help of excess weight and fat folds or Vice versa the lack of all sorts of shapes and appearance of a teenage boy,

If mother, grandmother and aunt loved to suffer and lead a heroic Spartan way of life – to plow for three, give all her work, children, home, and infinite treatment, and you instilled machinecheck – prohibiting Outlook on life,

If you have another fifty if you can try to return the responsibility for his life himself and thereby to expand their choices.

The choice appears when it returns a responsibility.when there is understanding – what am I doing with myself, my body and my life, which it turns out is not what I want.

Where, what place I want absolutely another. Why one part of me wants freedom and a life with children and the other chained in a cage unloved work. Why one part of me wants love, understanding and well-being, and the other chooses a life with an alcoholic or a gigolo. Why I choose the men I choose and find the job that they find.

And where in all this I really can choose, not going into imagination, and not giving yourself empty promises.

The smaller the understanding of yourself, the more the total helplessness and fear of life.

With the return of responsibility and with the gradual awareness of the motives of his actions, expanding the choice and the opportunity of creating new responses, new behaviors, new life scenarios.

Get a chance to meet him. to know the real you.And who knows, maybe I will be able to live your own, not anyone's life.published

Author: Irina Dubova

 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: dybova.ru/news/kogda-poyavlyaetsya-vybor/