Age of success: what to do when you 30, 40 or 50

Previous ideas about who you should become and what to achieve by a particular age, it is not working. About the new rules says Forbes columnist Rob Asghar.

If you stepped over a 30-, 40 - or 50-year anniversary, you may pursue the outdated idea of how should look a real success for a person your age. But it's unnecessary.

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Let's compare old and new models.

30 years before: you chose a pair of nearly a decade ago and are now building a family.

For 30 years, and you have just began to realize who you are, and you're thankful he doesn't fall into the trap of those decisions that could do ten years ago. 40 years earlier: you bought a big house in a more attractive area than where you lived before.

40 years, now a high probability that you will move closer to the center of the city, where the real action. And you are happy to rent an apartment.

50 years earlier: on a stable path to the "Golden years". Soon your children will leave, and you will be alone.

50 years, now: do you re-launch his career after the cuts and re-start your life after divorce.

The overall theme here is one: at each of these stages, you re-invent your life, instead of moving in a gradual upward trajectory.

And each of these stages, you have a rare opportunity to build a life that fits your hopes, dreams and values. You have unprecedented freedom. Although, of course, with freedom comes anxiety. The old model has delivered you from this anxiety and gave a clear path to success, like don and Betty Draper in "Mad men".

But whether the old model is dying? Is it really no longer brings comfort and clarity to most people? Think about what has changed.

If earlier the purpose of life was to buy a house in the suburbs, today's young people migrate to city centres and prefer to rent apartments. Last year the New York Times wrote: "the Number of people with higher education aged 25 to 34 living within three miles of the city centre soared by 37% since 2000, although the total population of these areas has even declined". Many people of the generation of baby boomers also are moving to the city, and many representatives of the generation of the 1970s threw the goal is to have your house.

Expectations in terms of marital relations and parenting are also changing. In 1960 the average age of first marriage for women at 20 years and for men at 22 years. Today in traditional marriage is already 27 and 29 years, and these figures continue to grow. Changed the very concept of marriage: besides the fact that this concept now includes same-sex relationships, not so many people believe that this is a healthy decision for a 20 year old woman to marry once and forever.

Playing the role of the newfound women's economic and social independence. For thirty-five years in American colleges more female than male students. And the level of employment among women in recent years is not lower and even higher than that of men. As they wrote in the journal Slate last year, "for most educated women reaching the age of 30 years means that you only begin to approach the criteria of adulthood: you have completed all of their educational programs, find the right partner, you make the baby."

In the past, people often married out of necessity to avoid social stigmas. Today, about 40% of American children are born out of wedlock (and in many European economies this figure is even higher), and 61% of Americans approve of the children born in that status.

The old model focused on stability and conformity. Today we do not have the instruments of stability and conformity, and social changes are so significant that many of us probably already do not want this.

But if you turn 50 — I this fall, then this is not the time to remember their victories and Polish your trophies. Often this is a time of radical revision. I recall the words of Bruce Springsteen: "we have only one last chance to make it a reality." There is an urgent need in the coming years is to find authentic ways to success, because the old way was a dead end.

Yes, it is troubling. But it's free, especially when you consider that the old criteria of success finally turned out to be outdated or inadequate for most of us. published 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind - together we change the world! ©

 

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Source: ideanomics.ru/?p=4693