How to raise a liar

I think the theory in this case not the assistant. Let us turn to the expert opinion of practitioners.

One mother was terribly worried for his son's performance. In particular, it is that she routinely and without permission to pry into his briefcase and checked how he was with the performance things. After a while it became clear that the boy himself is not averse to Snoop through other people's bags and borrow from there various amusing gizmos. Of course, he in any case did not confirm this until he was caught red-handed. But then said that was just looking for my pen, which looks like it accidentally fell in the bag of another boy. Mom, however, failed to discover the connection between own behavior and the behavior of the son. And it can and should be understood: she was full of noble intentions — hence her actions, unlike the actions of the son, cannot be declared dishonest.

Another friend is also very interested in the level of education of their child. Interest can be illustrated by told her own story. One day her eight-year-old son wrote and asked her: "mom how to spell the letter "W". According to this worthy woman she's terrified black eyes, and she could hardly cope with myself, growled: "are You at the age of 8 years do not know how to write a letter zzzzzztt???!!!" Note that the question of the son she never answered. But the scandal has turned out that is necessary.
I think this story was not the only one, because after some time my mother found out (to whom about me and asked) that the boy had completely stopped doing homework on the Russian language, and she meanwhile began to tell what a dizzying successes achieved in the field of linguistics and linguistics. An incorrigible liar!



The third opened in front of me own pedagogical theory, which is that it is necessary to check each step of the child, since he is by nature inclined to cheating (Ms. Gogol's "it should be leaves, because the man is spoiled, the order must observe"), which she did, applying from time to time sophisticated torture of deprivation of sweet and laying to sleep for three hours before the deadline. In this way the mother reacted to small contradictions, which she was able to notice in the story of the daughter about the events of the day. Unhappy genuinely surprised that day by day her little girl was becoming more and more deceitful and cunning (original language preserved).

The fourth parent, finding in someone else's toy box (which, however, after a short investigation found a toy of my son), made a big stink, and when the smoke cleared, I found nothing better than to say: "you This is science!" What is science and what is its object, remained a mystery... But the boy, apparently, were still susceptible to "the science", because began bringing home mountains of other people's things, which he, in his words "gave". "He is not only a liar but also a thief... it's Probably something innate — in fact, I never took another" — lamented poor father...

Fifth mother shared how daughters nightly uchinyaet interrogation about what she ate at school, and comparing the readings to intelligence, was surprised time and again discovers that her daughter is constantly cheating on her: that when fed says that he ate nothing, on the contrary — he ate nothing, and said he is fed. In response to the question why she does it, because if a person is hungry, he will ask for food, but for personal calm enough and those "intelligence", mother deep in thought...

The sixth told me how she told a three year old that if he will behave badly, at any moment in his life, you may receive a "do'er". (I have to admit, fate kept me from the Boogie man for quite a long time. Only recently I learned that this character is pretty firmly embedded in the educational processes regarding many of the Russian children). Despite her young age, the child quickly realized what was happening, and began enthusiastically to lie about everything — about their interests, occupation, friends and toys.
It is understandable: since the mother is in collusion with such an unpleasant creature and instead understand there is this threat babayka real or a figment of mom's imagination, it's better just to "confuse the enemy" — maybe blow!

The seventh opened my own coherent theory: he who does not learn (in accordance with its understanding of the doctrine), life is all bad. She is well studied, in any case, she said, but could not overcome the threshold of the subsistence minimum, living with mother and son in a Studio apartment. Not noticing a certain contradiction between her fantasies and reality, she continued to bear this nonsense, and yet she has not ceased to tell lies son from the truth. The success exceeded all expectations: as an adult, the son told the mother that attends University, while he meanwhile worked as a waiter in a restaurant.

Eighth indignant about stories daughter about what it is, they say, the best student that she wants to be friends, that teachers do it all the time, praise, etc. "All this blatant lie!" she cried, returning from a PTA meeting. "Why is she lying to me?! I always told her: I only want the truth, a lie is the only thing I can't forgive!“ The entire previous life she had, however, day after day and month after month, in response to any story daughter just asked "do better than others?" "What did the teacher say?" "Who finished the homework first?" The girl was quick-witted: why not make mom a nice and not give her exactly the kind of stories she wants to hear? Love, you know, no potatoes...

Ninth, as if continuing a practice of the eighth, too, demanded the truth, and when he heard her, he did a child's life is truly unbearable, punishing him for those actions and the school mark, the story of which she's worked so hard for. The loss of class magazine, which was buried in the nearest trash was the least dramatic of events that could happen.

... Number of examples could easily be increased to one hundred, two hundred, three hundred. The number of receptions of cultivation of a liar at the same time inexhaustible and infinitely monotonous, so we can stop and let the inquisitive reader to continue this research independently.

Despite the fact that the General principles of education in the framework of the task undoubtedly a clear, simple and generalized recommendations for the finale probably will not hurt.
So

  • Do not believe the child is put into question everything said to them. At the first opportunity elicite him in a lie. Even talking about a simple inaccuracies: from the small grows big!
  • Don't let him dream: the difference between a fantasy and a lie so thin that it is better not even to begin to reflect on this topic.
  • Remember: our behavior and the behavior that we expect from the child, as they say in Odessa — "two big differences". This principle should be the ideal, erected in the absolute — in the home, in teaching, in service.
  • Control every step of. Let it have a strong feeling that if he wants at least some privacy, her need to steal from their own parents.
  • Frighten the inevitable retribution. Become in his imagination a sort of Sauron, with all-seeing black eye.
 

That's all. The deed is done.published

 

Author Dima Zitser

 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

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Source: zicer.livejournal.com/36162.html

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