Very important things: read this! Bashny.Net

Read this before you decide to explain to a domestic abuse victim that it is her own fault.

How can you talk about your parents like that?
If you do not know what it means to be afraid to go home with a foursome, if you were not beaten or humiliated in front of your classmates, if you had a loving family and a real childhood - thank God and go by. A well-fed hungry man cannot understand.

Why do parents not remember anything?
They remember everything. But they're not ashamed. They don't want to talk about it because they still believe that the one they gave birth has no right to claim. It's just that now the child is too old to plug him in the usual way, with slap.

And how did the surroundings not guess?
They had no idea - they knew. Maybe not everyone, but the closest ones knew for sure. How could you not notice the bruises and not hear the cries of a beaten man? They knew. For various reasons, they did not consider it necessary to intervene.

For what?
No way. What your parents did to you as a person has nothing to do with you. You weren't a bad kid. You weren't a bad person. Those who abused you were bad. Period.



Did your parents have a reason to treat you like that?
Was. It's called sadism. They enjoyed humiliating and suppressing the weaker, the dependent. No other reason.

But you've grown up a good man!
Yeah. In spite of their parents, not because of them. And your resentment at their attempts to take credit for your success is absolutely justified. So don’t give yourself words of gratitude you don’t feel. Figuratively speaking, they trampled the field you planted for too long, so that now that you have rattled a lot of energy and time, so that at least something grows on it, harvest it.

Think about it, sluggard.
There are no “pop slaps” – from this drooling definition, violence does not cease to be violence, except that it acquires a vile pedophile connotation. Gradation "tore rope" and "boycotted a week" is deeply vicious. You have been deliberately physically hurt or emotionally terrorized. It's equally vile. Period.

The parents themselves beat.
Not necessarily. Many sadistic parents have never been abused. Moreover, they were beloved children who got everything they wanted from their parents. But they could not get it from you, and they made you pay for it. You. Ten-year-old. Pay. Your body and your sense of dignity.

You have to get along with your parents.
No, you don't. And you shouldn’t feel guilty about not being willing to spend years of your life working with this story that’s so clear. You want to work on other relationships: with men, with your own children, with the world around you. And don’t say, “Until you make up with your mom, you can’t do this and that.” As a rule, any unhappy and unloved child spends many years to understand what the problem is and what he is doing wrong. Healing comes the moment you realize you don’t need the love of these people. And you're not willing to spend a second of your life earning it. Enough. You have other priorities now.

They are parents, and without them you would not be in this world.
What kind of world did they give you? Hostile, full of pain and humiliation, dangerous, from which you have wanted for years just to escape - a good gift, right? Yeah, there's a lot of good in your life right now. But you owe it only to yourself, not to people who tortured you just because they could.

Whatever it is, they love you.
Nope. And this is perhaps the most important thing that victims of parental sadism should learn: not all parents love their children. And it’s not your fault that you were unlucky to be born to a woman and a man who were irritated, frustrated, jealous, anything but love. It just happened. Get over it and move on.

They are old now, and you must forgive them.
First, those who try to shame you by using manipulative diminutive affectionate suffixes should remember the hard words “beaten”, “humiliated”, “terrified” and “unhappy”. Secondly, the number of years lived does not in itself redeem anything. Only sincere remorse works. Which sadistic parents are incapable of. A sadist can change tactics, but he will never stop. Having lost the opportunity to use physical violence, he will turn to psychological and emotional violence. This is how it works: it needs sacrifice, just as other people need food. You should not be ashamed that you want to be human and not food.

published



P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness – together we change the world!

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Source: vk.com/detypsy?w=wall-19864279_4118