Holes of consciousness or words that are forbidden for use Bashny.Net

By the way, the word "no" also applies to them. Therefore, I admit at once that in the title I specifically have used it.

Here I propose a game of "Hunt for words". To hunt, we will first "analyze" these suspicious words, because the enemy must know in person. So, what are these words, how are they dangerous?

"Under the gun" will be the words listed below in a column. And then we each separately consider in the text. Moreover, it will be not only words, but also popular among the people of the insertion of collocations, for example: "as if". And stable and familiar to the ear, but inappropriate in the sense of substitution, like "you" instead of "I" when talking about their situation. Hereinafter, I'll call them for convenience and brevity the total concept of the word — parasites.





just

how would

type

understand

the pronunciation of "you" instead of "I"

Generalizations of any kind (all, always, never, all, nothing)

 

Let's begin from afar: how dangerous those words-parasites?

Well, not exactly the fact that they expose your ignorance, or perhaps affect the logic or the beauty of the question — no. Not that and not another.

These "weeds" and "loopholes" of the language often used by professional lecturers, of course not knowing about unwanted side effects. Harmful and they are what give psychological vulnerability of the speaker. For example, zaicevas "understand" and confused, izvinyaeca. With them, he really looks like opinion confident and competent than without them, although not aware of it. These words crumples the speech of the speaker, sow the seed of doubt or sympathy in the minds and souls of his listeners. Both are not useful for the purpose of the speaker, it does not make the narrator a charismatic personality, exactly understanding what he says and to whom.

Each such word a parasite, automatically (out of habit) to be included in the narrative, where there could be a pause, talking scrapes or apologizes, sometimes protected or asking for forgiveness, leniency for the fact that "if something goes wrong" in his speech, did not blame him too harshly. So it is very distracting from the meaning, this sense is necessary to filter from his attitude to whoever is speaking. Sad comes to watch — mount speaker.

But in the same speech harizmatika, as a rule, little or no these words-parasites. When we listen to a really strong, confident person that may not notice, as the speaker himself disappears. Is pure narrative, so much we know its meaning. It happens that the listeners fully absorb the idea, clear idea free of impurities "relational Podkletnov". This is what happens when dancing a dancer: the dancer disappears, only the dance remains.

Relational podgradina: they have a habit of unearthing their stories, to speak from the second person "you", "you".

For example:

"You're in labor", (imagine, the woman said, friend, classmate), "your water broke"...

Or the man says: - "You had a nasty boss at work, and you sit like a spat and nothing to do"

Or "when you're so.. you're hurt..." or: "and I want you to stand up and let in the forehead..." - agree in all these examples, the listener is forced to wear someone else's strategy that is not very nice. So, the narrator corefonts through it "you" instead of "I" for support in the "correct" response.

He is without question: "how did you know?" believes that everyone in a similar situation as he will feel, do and think as well.It is necessary for the Ego of the speaker to justify themselves and accuse someone behind the scenes. So, moving to merge with slusajuci, it is easy to come to the club position chronic victims "who now?"; "everything will be there", "life is hard", and continue in the same spirit. Position of hopelessness and hopelessness. Zechem "rock the boat" preodolevat problem, to experiment react differently, if "all wrong"

The position of the victim people of mass, and a popular strategy to summarize:

"all, always, never", and carry on the other using "you" their response. Mass habit, but very harmful. Very close by the pronoun "you" with your story, or a generalization of "we all live", the interviewer wants at your expense to join the ranks of their "sect of the Poor" and to cover up their unwillingness to develop and learn.

Indeed, in all these places "I" need to take responsibility, and accept that others have other responses in similar circumstances. Recognizing this, people will correctly say I'm speaking for myself.

And of course, if you do it to yourself - use "you", telling their stories, in addition to the offensiveness to someone, you're also able to know how you harm yourself. Please note that Saying "you" instead of "I", you do not arrogate to themselves the power of their feelings and events.

Even if the person complains, in his "negative" feelings a lot of strength. Appropriating the power of the drama of its events, people linguistically recognizes an "I" that "razrulit", changing it can out of the situation, as it included.

The pronoun "I" a lot of power, and that the mentors "trainers of children" was not profitable, so the phrase – "I" - the last letter in the alphabet" forever beat off desire in many children to admit publicly the existence of this self. Now that is fertile ground for low self-esteem, disbelief in their own strength and popularity of psychology.

Knowing this, now you can "spell" itself back.

Giving yourself permission to "dry out" wherever talk about yourself, not be ashamed to admit authorship

my life.

Forbidding myself to say "you" wherever it is on your I.

I can say that if this is your case, it will be difficult. There will be a huge break-up, and wine, and embarrassment. But if this nedelat, and your "I" in your speech, not born, believe me, no one will save you, and lead to new horizons. No I don't and you are choosing how to live. And is dissolving himself in all, and sad that it's not the dissolution, which is enlightened-Zen. This is a set of global guilt for its existence, this massive long drama post-Soviet generations. And it had, alas, become the norm, so people with lack of this guilt cause wariness and suspicion. That is why many do not risk to stand out, truthfully speaking using "I", not to be rejected by the majority.

But that's a secret that the majority attitude to them is more important than what they say. Most people need to Be Taken in a much more important need than the need to convey said. From the word-parasites abound in the speech of many.

However, these words almost do not use leaders, leaders and other charismatics, and if you use it consciously knowing why and this is what we mean.

How can anything undergo trainings and study psychology, but if your speech will be something that keeps the frame of your old "leaky" thinking, acquired knowledge, will be merged into these gaps that exist in your way of thinking.

In these automatic substitutions, fixed false:

"you're" instead of "I", "all" instead of "some"

For example: Who is it? Name names, please.

These strategies have bessoznatelnoe irony in vain seeking to develop people. This phenomenon reveals the fear of his own power. The person declares that he wants more power, opportunities and freedoms, as it claims to be, he wasn't ready man! He only plays that wants more.

Listed above used automatisms, often the explanation for the "good" porcinai — phrase: "because everyone is doing it"

This "style" of speech, contributes to the plum personal emotional energy, the renunciation of human experience — all that was intended to make him confident.

These words are used again and again, return it to its previous inefficient state, so he may even wonder what, gathering information on psychology and development, it remains in the same place and was energetically and event, there are no results or they are fleeting and not fixed.

This habit of speaking still garbage in the speech (how we speak and think), every training can lead a person into even greater despair: "nothing works" and it seems that there "cannot be help", and "worst of all" and "everything is hopeless". Feel the catch in generalizations?

Even if you don't understand from the "cleverness" of the lecturer or facilitator training, and only modify their speech, the result is an evolutionary leap immediately found: as we speak so we think, the Thinking of a successful and happy life of people is different from thinking unhappy whiners.

If you start to follow the speech, and better yet ask to do it your friends (after all, know better), you will be surprised — how much you are taking speech automatisms, which are not justified by the meaning.

I repeat: the presence of these words-parasites gives a human level of relationship with him. It's a kind of crutches, which many need. The person's speech reveals "duravest" self-esteem through the "how to", "" type, "so to speak" and "just". So the audience is chronic depreciation that these words are coming next.

Let us consider for example the word "just"

Please note, when someone privas vosposleduet the word "just" what follows often the word "just" - it is not easy, it is often the "hoo"!
"I just couldn't stop the tears from falling" or "I just jumped into the abyss, the flames of the fire began to get closer." Where is here just in terms of meaning?

Consider the example of the generalization "all, always, navsegda, never, all"

Generalization in speech, often lies, even here Popravko and refinement almost always lies.

"You're always late". No, 76% Yes, or in 95% /50% but not always!

"I'm always struck with is their lives..."; "never...", "never again I won't do this again..."
This is the proverb "never say never. Don't say "never"

Generalizations reinforce the habit of lying to yourself and others, exaggerating the truth in favor of the manipulator or with a whining victim. Generalization is a kind of alibi-allow yourself not to grow and not change, but trying to blame others for their troubles.

The Power Of Pauses

Another hidden cause of this phenomenon "holes out" is a common in people Fear Pauses.

Sustainable automatism of speech, which because of its automatic upotrebliaiet ceased to reflect the honesty of what is happening. The turnover and substitution and so firmly fixed in the speech that many do not notice them.

As codepointat not notice how much they say apart from the words-parasites, and even many extra authentic sound: "uh" "ooh...", "uh"... "uh", looking for the right turn. To hear this "garbage" can a person, listening to his speech in the record. People are sometimes surprised how much they have in the speech of any excess, on the site of what could be a pause. A pause in conversation — is generally a separate subject, here I want to say that those whose speech really is clogged, more often it pauses and I'm afraid trying to hum what he would have to fill with sound, not silence!

This is an echo of school years, where silence in response when a student asked a lesson could be deadly. Then it meant "get two!". But the mooing gave at least some hope to pass thoughtful, painfully Recalling the subject of a bona fide disciple.

Now the children are grown, but the fear remained. If this sounds like you, you, safe and sound to use in conversation so...(you honest or polite?), so... not increased. It is difficult, remaining uncertain and confused child, to claim the respect, recognition and achievements in adult life.

Good hunting you.friends!

PS If you really want to clean up your speech. Enlist the support of a friend, asking him to monitor your speech and give yourself a "punishment" for each sentence. Well if it's helpful sports physical exercise for the body, at the same time and disappoint.

It is important that you can implement immediately, without delay. Or come on outbound mystery-training, where this hunt practice.

And if you want to practice hunting themselves, come up with action if it finds that strata. For example: changing a bracelet or ring from left to right hand and back, and even better squat, a warning. And if you do it in a public place, at the same time will work not only parasites of the question and even Fear the Evaluation.

Be light, heavy give it to gravity. Don't be afraid, love people, it develops a sense of humor. published



Author: Natalia Walicka

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki

Source: valitskaya.com/wp/?page_id=27