Personal space and marriage

A man and a woman enter into marriage or just beginning to live under the same roof. Finally, it is possible to do everything together – Wake up, get ready for work, cook dinner, walk the dog, read, be active or idle in the output to lie in bed. But in fact it turns out that long so can not continue.

From time to time want alone to drink tea, to do household chores or just watch the rain without the presence of his beloved half close. Some people are afraid of this new situation: is was love, surely life begins to kill it, do marriage is a mistake?


Its always closer

Actually love is not the complete dissolution of the identity of another person with the loss of his own individuality. And that's just a healthy feelings between spouses and can involve every family member time and space for himself. It's okay if you want to be alone, to disperse to different corners of the room, if not close in the kitchen or in the bedroom and read or play a favorite computer game. And with friends too sometimes wants to be without spousal maintenance, and can go to the Park, and go to sea. Such desires say that in front of you a complete person, and not an application for spouse.

Why? Nature. Every animal has its own space, which is inaccessible to others. Encroachment on this space is punishable..It's marked and others are not at risk of violating the ban. In this respect, too, many similar to our smaller brothers. Intimate zone (up to 15 cm) should remain the most untouchable. Its violation causes irritation and aggression. But beyond that, the individual fields there is also a personal mental and physical space. A sense of comfort largely depends on how both areas are protected from unauthorized infringement. So from time to time arises the desire to be alone, do things alone – it's totally natural.

And this is also my

There are also a number of places or habits that constitute a person as part of personal space. Someone who likes to sit in the right corner of the sofa or on the left seat, put the Cup on the corner tables or putting the notebook on the window sill. Such spatial "markers" – the subconscious desire for stability, and therefore security, inner balance.

Psychologists have long noted that modern man is more subject to these "labels". In the past people lived in a more stable environment, not crowded with information and people. Now daily trips to crowded public transport, information flows and changing fast lifestyle make people "cling" to the habits and places to sense of stability and peace did not violate the mental balance.

This imbalance alarm for the psyche. And how does the man on alert? In most cases aggressive, he is protected. And no feelings, traditions, or arguments of logic don't work here. It is the prerogative of instinct, which with him not to fight, stronger. So we should not be surprised that favorite or favorite almost with fury protect your Ottoman or a seat at the kitchen table.

It's just a desire to maintain personal space. Not worth it to fight it or "accidentally" use your favorite for a loved one with a plate or handle. Otherwise, as a challenge he will not understand and will fight for their borders.

Accept the fact that not all of you have shared, even though you and the native people in the world. You – the second half, and this implies that you most respect and appreciate in a man his personality and the manifestation of independence, which give you both the opportunity to be together and happy.

Beat our

Another thing, if you encroach on your seat, trying to get you to leave the comb on the bookshelf or the stuff in the locker. You need to talk to the person, explaining the meaning of all this for you. Calmly tell us what a good mood largely depends on how your habitual behavior not criticized. If a person exposes their arguments, try to find a compromise solution. Since the spouse if the spouse so you want to all in the house were lying on their places, on the bookshelf you can put a small decorative substrate for a comb. At the same time it decorates the shelf, and all will be fine and in its usual place. The example comb – one of many variants of how the couple meet each other in solutions privacy.

A distress signal

Each partner has certain habits which are also an integral part of comfort and well-being of that person. Of course, in marriage we have to adjust a little bit of a personal bias, to seek a compromise solution. But to completely abandon yourself or to demand that someone sacrificed himself for the comfort of another is not good.

There are cases when under the "personal space" means a willful infringement of the rights and freedoms of another person. Husband, making a scandal about crooked hanging towels in the bathroom (remember the film "sleeping with the enemy" with Julia Roberts) or the wife, rolling his tantrum because husband hung his hat on the hook, not hid it in the closet. This behavior suggests that near you or a man not quite adequate or to your relationship crisis, which results in such "arrangement of things". In such cases, you must work with a specialist or make a more radical decision – to leave, to leave.

Finally, we note that, if they had enough personal space and time for yourself, the family atmosphere was more relaxed and joyful. After each "dip in loneliness" satellites feel renewed. Their relationship is becoming freshness, because they managed to miss while taking a bath or riding a bike. Everyone respects the will of another, because it, too, accept and do not encroach on the freedom. published


P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

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