I do like to BE the MOTHER of -13 benefits of conscious parenting

Carla Naumburg, 13 CONCLUSIONS ABOUT HOW MINDFULNESS is HELPING ME BE a happier MOTHER

Before we get into the details, I think I need to clarify something. As I have said many times, I'm not the Dalai Mama. If any of you watch, Pospisil for me for several days (of course, not on their bellies), you would have probably noticed that I sometimes snap at their children, or sneak a look in your smartphone, or hiding in the kitchen to rest. You would see that I do anything other than awareness.

The truth is that I do all these things less frequently than before. And when I find myself doing them again, you can calm down, collect yourself, and to make the best choice faster than ever before. This is what happens when you learn to pay attention to the moment without judging him and fighting with him (actually, I have huge experience of dealing with reality, I never won).

Here are the areas of life in which my practice of mindfulness help me be a happier mother, the order does not affect the significance.





I'M LESS CONCERNED ABOUT

Anxiety is worry about the future, and usually about things that I can't predict or control. I am an expert on anxiety (especially when it comes to parenting), however, the practice of mindfulness helps me see what are these disturbing thoughts – just thoughts – and then let them go.

I CAN SLEEP BETTER

Maybe it is because I am less worried, perhaps because I have gained the skill to calm the endless chatter of my brain. In any case, I know I sleep better when I pray. (Needless to say, I become a better mother when well-rested.)

I'M EASIER TO REACT

My children, like most children are perfectly able to press buttons (especially mine). Before the start of meditation practice, I had mostly been one big button, always waiting, when it hit. Now things began to improve. I either don't react, when children push in first, or even second time, or perhaps my answer is not as intense as before. It's amazing, because now I much less feel the crazy, who worried over every little thing.

I CAN CALM DOWN

With all the obvious advantages of meditation, I still sometimes lose my temper. I still am sometimes disappointed, annoyed, angry and impatient. But now, instead of having to take in some foul mood, or temper, I take a few deep breaths, aware of themselves in space and through this feel better.

I FEEL BETTER, EVEN IF I'M BORED

Let's face the truth. Parenting can be very boring. If you don't believe me, I have two words for you: Snakes and Ladders*. Every time I'm practicing how to tolerate boredom.

I AM MORE GRATEFUL

I've had good success in his excitement about every little thing. Now when I slow down, breathe and pay attention to what is actually in front of me, I realize that life is pretty amazing. And even when it is not too surprising, I still have many things I can be grateful to her, if nothing else, my children and husband healthy and I can spend time with them. Says Thich Nhat Hanh, "Mindfulness is the energy that helps us recognize the conditions of happiness that are already present in our lives."

I COMPARE MYSELF LESS WITH OTHER

I used to spend a lot of time paying attention to how other mothers are "better" me: they are better, they are more clever or witty than I am, has reached more professionally... the list is endless, all this was making me sad. Returning to the present moment, here and now, I learned to get out of this endless merry-go-round of constant comparisons.





I'M LEARNING TO "LOOSEN THE GRIP" ABOUT THE FUTURE

I can easily get caught up in their fantasies of what will become my children, what they will do. Higher education, successful career, healthy relationships, rent car, 2.5 children, etc., etc. If I'm too attached to my dreams of children, I will not open who they are and what they want. Mindfulness helps me with a few "to loosen his grip," so I can focus on strengthening relationships with my children, no matter what path they choose.

I'M LESS THAN I REPROACH MYSELF FOR THE PAST

I make a lot of mistakes in parenting (and in life), and then obsessively thinking about it. Re-losing these mistakes in your mind, I strictly judge yourself, and ultimately, watch your own pathetic one-man show. Sometimes I get in a horrible condition, and often transfer it to their children. Mindfulness helps me let go of self-critical thoughts and to return to the present moment.

IT MAKES ME EASIER TO ACCESS JOY

When I let go of your worries and obsessions about the future and frustration about the past, in my mind there is much more room for happiness. That's all.

I LEARNED TO JUST BE PRESENT

Sounds pretty obvious, but it is necessary to re-declare. Every time I am able to postpone the smartphone, get out of your crazy brain and be fully present for my girls, I actually give them something really important. I thus say to them how much they mean to me that they deserve my time and attention, and it's important what they say. This is a big deal for kids (and parents).

I BECAME KINDER

I'm not sure I can explain it, but I know that it's true. The more I meditate, the better I become. I am less impatient, less grumpy, less able to break out, to interrupt, or yell at their children. I just became nicer.

I DO LIKE TO BE A MOTHER

This is the bottom line, as a summing up – the awareness helps me be a happier mother. Awareness makes it all worthwhile.

* Game Leela, where are the Snakes (vices) sting the player and lowered it down a Ladder (virtue) helps to raise approx.translator.

Author: Carla Naumburg, PhD, a clinical social worker, writer, mother. A blog about Conscious Parenting for PsychCentral.com and is the responsible editor in Kveller.com. published





Translation Elena Pakulin

 

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

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Source: www.go2mindfulness.com/kb/parenting/13-ways/