I am often asked how to learn to behave differently.
I think that in itself attempts to behave "or else" is doomed to fail if based solely on the patient.Our task — to see and change the beliefs that are behind the behavior.
Just today, for example, came the question (you have the author's permission to name received):
"Irina, good afternoon.
After yesterday's consultation that's what the question haunts me...
We talked about my anger, but rather that on absolutely smooth prosperous emotional background in the family, that is, when really it's okay, I suddenly start itself at an unconscious level to show aggression (when my floors, to reproach, to find fault with the person or make requests as I please, and how better in my opinion). This is due to the fact that I reproduce the model behavior my mom?"
Yes, you could say.
It is important to remember, of patterns of behaviour are certain a person's beliefs and unconscious - for example, in the situation of washing the floor ("I'm doing this for you caring").They need to change. Beliefs. Not of the household.
It is possible to trace their history — where I got these ideas about life.
From our conversation it was discovered that this is typical behavior of Your mom that doesn't give anyone homework, but always emphasizes the severity of their shares. If you break away from specifics, that message sounds something like "I'm good, you are bad, I suffer for you." Unconscious victim playing and manipulation by guilt
. It is important to understand this does not contradict the fact that a woman loves his family, literally "struggling". These are just her beliefs about life. Where did she get them? Also not born with them...
However, the story of the emergence of limiting beliefs in my head is not as important as my willingness to change their thinking and behavior. Some efforts to "behave differently" here can not cope. Beliefs is like a picture in your head, image. The emotion that I have — it is a reaction to this "picture."
After it (after the emotion) included behavioural response — I do so-and-so.
Sometimes the entire sequence is bypassing awareness. The picture (belief) — emotion — action.
Ask the man why he did it? Or not know or the answer is "because". But always inside, there is a "sense of truth", the validity of their actions. And it will take some time for a person to think and see the causal relationships of their actions. To detect the divergence, which You in your letter mentioned in the background of prosperity SUDDENLY makes me somewhere...
Where is it? What I'm afraid of? What to protect?
And give yourself time to hear the answer. And ask yourself whose texts?
What they serve in my life?
Whether the circumstances of my life?
And tidy this part of their worldview, their beliefs, peraonality in something important.For example, the widespread belief that "the money given to HARD work."
Can I believe making money can be creative, joyful, full of fun work?
Sometimes the inclusion of awareness happens at the stage of emergence of emotions (advanced level of self-understanding) and then people can understand why I'm angry, sad,... and there already and to the detection of persuasion is not far away.
In short, the road by walking.
Also interesting: the Emotions are inherited through the female lineSandero, and 22 of the emotions that we feel but can't explain
Thus, in the case of need to change behavior, looking for what beliefs are creating my emotional responses and drive behavior, and then transform into fit for life and love.
Author: Irina Ivanova
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
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