Give be wrong: what's wrong with "the student syndrome" Bashny.Net

Parents worry when a child gets in school is "two", lots of naughty fun and a little time on education. Rarely loving moms and dads worry that their child spends much time at the books, does not violate the discipline and in "excellence". Should I worry if the child meticulously writes each letter and is very upset that the line can not be?





Many adults love to watch children carefully. Fifth-grader Nina always sits at the first Desk in the middle row. Even if the Desk treacherously seized classmate Jack, Nina diplomatically explains that she needs in her Desk the teacher sees it better, hear the answer clearly, and the heads of Bears and Vova does not obscure the analysis of the sentence on the blackboard.

Inochkina notebook always in perfect condition homework written own, figures parade lined up, and after each dictation flaunts the teacher's "well Done." It would seem, "a neat child," Nina nothing can ruin that. But at the end of the last quarter of girlish tears knew no bounds. And it's not a bitterness of first love and not offensive Eugene's antics.

The cause of hysteria Nina was the only "b" in math for the quarter, which is not consistent with a number of slender "fives" in other subjects. Dad, teacher mekhmat don't understand how you can learn to "excellent", especially in mathematics.





Your success can inspire children, but should not be a measure of their own achievements. Dima is now in the 11th grade, preparing to enter on the "International economy". In addition to daily studying at school, lessons which do not end before 16.00, Dima twice a week riding courses at University ("to pass an internal exam for the highest score"), three in social Sciences ("for admission I don't need it, but I am praised for good results, I'm the best in the class"), and four nights given over to training in the gym ("my body must be perfect").

Schedule future entrant drawn up correctly: study alternates with sports, which should satisfy the physical and mental stress, but in the morning, Dima began to feel tired, in the mirror, the teenager often sees a pale face with red eyes, and Sundays given over to personal life, begin to seem only chance to sleep. Dima chose this rhythm of life, he wants to be found. Always.

 

"Student syndrome" — a dangerous symptom of neurosis. Sometimes the child may make mistakes, but striving to be the best not to react to the mistake constructively. Self-esteem (especially in teenagers) begins to fall rapidly, sometimes parents help this the peak of all the forces: "You can study perfectly well!", "No, you're not trying!", "You want to fuck daddy?", "Look at us, we finished school with medals, and the universities with honors, I do try".





The life of the heroine of the cartoon "the Little Prince" painted caring mom. Try here, give yourself some slack to make mistakes. As soon as the child comes to school, it must learn to prioritize, otherwise the child's body can not cope with the amount of workload that it tumbled. Not to make the child a victim of unhealthy perfectionism, you need to let him make mistakes and be taught properly (sensibly!) react to failure: "don't worry, I also wrong, I've had difficult periods", "We love you, even if you did something wrong", "What caused the error, let's try to understand".

But the children, which usually put in an example — motivated motivated students, public organizations and athletes — also need the support of adults. They need to learn to accept mistakes as a reason for growth, not for disappointment in myself.

 



Children who are shamed a lot, feel like failures

What do NOT HAVE to constantly ask the child

 

To calculate the forces: the human resources are limited, how rich they might be, and that's absolutely fine. To enjoy the process and not just the result — to be first and best.

This is not to learn, if the adults expect from you only victories.We've learned that the support adults need, first of all, the hardened "Threeness" and "Twoness": they need support in the development of motivation, they must learn to set themselves higher goals and overcome challenges. They need sometimes just to help with the curriculum, so they stopped thinking of myself as "trailing behind".

When a teenager feels that he is protected by the family, the desire to bring everything to an unhealthy limit disappears, he just wants to grow and improve, even if something does not work.published Author: Anastasia Sirazetdinova

 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: newtonew.com/discussions/let-make-mistakes