Resentment of the parents: a bad wound quickly and permanently

The child grows, often naughty, can not hear parental requests. Parents do not understand, do not feel the baby. Want to subjugate it, confident that they know better. The child does not hear, is in its Wake. By the way, he does the same thing and his parents. They, too, are on the wave, do not feel the situation because I did not find new words, irritated.

What is the parent irritation? It hurt for a child. Offended, they punish their child. Or deprived of something, or scream, or kick. The child in response offended by them.

Thus, the situation is beginning its move in a spiral, twisting on mutual resentment more and more. In the end, the child grows up. Of course, he saw not only the punishment and shouting. Had a lot of good, but a bad wound quickly and permanently, and easily overwhelmed by a good offense. Also, the parents are faced not only with the disobedience of the child, but his achievements, moments of intimacy, periods of strong friendship with the child.






Our child has become an adult. He has not his family, but he was free and independent from parents and their opinions. Childhood, his child slavery (or let us say softly, to not scare anyone — child relationship) ended. But as it is, will show simple life situation in which this young man gets every day — communication at work, in College, amongst friends, with the same parents.

Touchy? How easily and quickly forgive others? Tolerant to others ' weaknesses? Does claim to people? Does he care about others? How dependent on other people's opinions — I am sure in yourself?

When the child grows up, he is in his adult life can only take the Luggage, which had by this time accumulated. It's his personal experience, as well as what he saw every day in his family. It can be assumed that the person has been wounded by offense, unlikely to be broad, generous and magnanimous. In practice, it is even more difficult.

A lack of understanding, communication can cause a man new pain, extending the wound of his resentment. There will come a time when man would realize this and start to fight it, trying to change in your normal household day. Something will be successful, some don't. May even build relationships with parents, with friends. Appears close person, it will be the personal family.

The tragedy may come when he will first raise the voice of his disobedient child. Irritation on it will go, accompanied by self-flagellation, with the desire to change yourself, but also with the desire to bend the will of your child. That's when the pain and attempt to find the root of this internal troubles will continue to burn from the inside.

But the root is one. Under-loved child, the hero of our story, instead of unconditional love and freedom in your family, know the hurt, the pain from his closest people — parents. They were his protectors from external troubles, but were the proper executioners in his life, developing in the child instead of loving people the pity future selfishness and an excellent basis for the accumulation of all subsequent moments of bitterness, greed, envy, and so on.

Also a number of stereotypes about naughty children about the difficulties of raising children, the punishment, the carrot and the stick that you want to alternate, that the child should behave well and be thankful, and other terrible nonsense, inspired almost all of us in our childhood, created in the young man an extra barrier from the manifestation of love, which, of course, lives in it, as in all of us, but sits very deep and very quiet.

It turns out that with all the free this man is still a hostage to their parents, their children's offense, your child's pain and all prejudices, perceived in childhood.






Thank God, we are all reasonable people who understand and are able to connect their internal feelings with knowledge, thereby coming to awareness. It is through the awareness of a man will be able sincerely to forgive their parents, to stop this vicious cycle of offense for yourself, giving your child love and affection is proper education and a heap of complexes.

And it has children with their children and with all the people around to communicate intuitively, carefully and gently. If our hero wins himself — his little hurt child — he will be free from the shackles and be truly happy. But is it worth spending energy, time, make mistakes, freed from the shackles, when they can just not to wear?

 



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Dear parents, every child is a priceless treasure entrusted to us for a while. While our children have not grown, yet have the opportunity to cover their own stupidity unconditional love to them, let us honestly look at the truth and say to themselves: what annoys us in our children, has any value in life or is just an echo of some useless rules?

Let's break free from our own slavery, and not to drive it in their kids. After all, the offending of their children, we wound them for life, even if they don't remember it.published

 



Source: www.nebej.ru/archives/263

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