Child tantrums - a very common problem. In none of the family, which would anyway not faced with similar attacks in children. This situation is painful, and everything would be her izbezhat.Mezh so often parents themselves own behavior provoke hysterics. < Website will tell you how to protect yourself from it.
You can have different attitudes to children's tantrums. They can:
- makes you feel helpless
- Calling a keen sense of pity and compassion
- Madden tiring.
- to frighten. definitely can not please.
And, of course, you do not exactly want to contribute to temper tantrums are commonplace in your child
Meanwhile make enough only one of the 10 errors -. And the likelihood that children will go into hysterics life your family will be quite high if you happen to assume not one but several errors -. the result will be almost irreversible
What parent errors lead to childish tantrums?
Mistake number 1:. < Allow all child Of course, you are against permissiveness. But all for the understanding of the child and his desires. And he desires so strong and sincere, that they seem not to execute a crime.
So let us fulfill every wish of the child! Execution of desires - guarantee of happiness and confidence in the security of parental love. And if the desire is not too useful and well - let himself be convinced of its wrongness
Is it true?
When a child does not meet with the slightest resistance to their own desires, even accidental, he, oddly enough, feels no parental protection. It turns out, the child decides that he needs, and parents only executors of his will. The burden of this responsibility is too heavy for the little man. And the result will be the nervousness and hysteria
Error number 2:. < Do not allow your child to personal The approach opposite the previous one. Perhaps the second error you go, fully tested the first.
Small child. He does not understand that it is better and more useful, so his decision initially may not be true. So, you choose for him, and Detkina timid attempts to do something in their own way will deter the bud, even if we are talking about innocent things.
- I want the red dress? You do not go red, put on blue.
- You do not want to drink milk after a hearty dish of porridge? Milk necessarily need to drink to have healthy teeth.
And so in all.
Milk, of course, useful, and red color can not be truly child-to-face. < But, living in permanent restrictions, the child will sooner or later try to break the stifling framework. How? The easiest way - the scandal. And if the attempt is not successful, a nervous breakdown is provided, and scandals over guaranteed
Error number 3:. < Be inconsistent We're all real people. Today we have a good feeling, and tomorrow - no matter. Today, all is possible, tomorrow - a bad day in the morning. Today, all is well, and tomorrow - there have been serious problems. We are not robots, we can not always behave the same way.
Therefore, and with the baby every day we (and even within a single day) behave differently: we are tolerant and forgiving, then explode at any trifle; prohibit the extra cartoons, then engaged and willing to include them in the evening, just to the child is not bothered.
Yes, we are not robots - and the child should understand this
Should not! < It can not guess why you are making conflicting actions parents -. A pattern of behavior for the child. They form its boundaries, the installation, the rules of life.
If the sample is distorted by constant change? ? If the rules are constantly changing
So, in the life of a child there is no stability and clarity Total - hysteria
Error number 4:. < Do not observe the regime The child does not go to kindergarten, and it would be strange to torment himself a strict regime. Or he goes, but the day off tomorrow - too, and the next day kindergarten is canceled for any reason. And in general mode - it's boring frames that make life dreary
You may well do without the regime. Did you manage to perform all the necessary tasks and quality vacation without a clear timetable. < But the child who does not have a clear regime, at the same time has no sense of life stability. He does not understand what kind of laws there is his world and whether these laws at all.
In addition, without a clear food and sleep comes quickly fatigue and physical discomfort.
A constant psychological and physical discomfort of the child entails indispensable tantrums
Error number 5:. < Do not restrict the viewing of cartoons and games on your computer Every child just loves cartoons! Ready to watch them whenever you like and as much as necessary. Well remembers the plot, allocates favorite characters. The same happens with computer games. It is necessary to offer the child a fun day - he is ready to play for hours
Why not develop? Like here, and memory develops and hobbies appear.
Yes, and you, to be honest, very comfortable, when the child busy, happy, and does not stick to you
Only here the development that gives cartoons and computer games, -. Imaginary. And the damage is quite specific. Any cartoons, and even more so of the game at least in the very act of excitation processes, which are already in children prevail over the braking process.
A overexcited child will find a way out of her. And find it in regular hysterics
Error number 6:. < Do not punish the child Is it possible to punish the child ?! This cruelty, a sign of the weakness of the parent and a relic of the past! Want to punish - punish an equal adult and not a defenseless child. The maximum that parents can afford in relation to the child - is to show him their displeasure
You are close to the common belief today? Penalties in your family are not taken?
< So, your child will not feel the scope of what is permitted. Not because he's so blunt, but because you do not have installed. Without such a framework, the child ... scary. Therefore, he will try to find them.
And resort to constant tantrums both to the misconduct. Maybe so it will be able to reach you
7 Error number:? < Obey infant hysterics The child something really wants / does not want and screaming for 15 minutes. Do you feel sorry for him? Or maybe you are not at home and you are embarrassed in front of others? Or are you just tired of exhausting roar?
Whatever it was, you can not stand the endless cry - and the desire to perform child
From this moment the child begins to suspect: his cry stronger your will
And tantrums are guaranteed
Error number 8:. < Yelling at a child A child brought you out of yourself? Bad behavior, awkwardness, carelessness or notorious tantrum? And you do not just get mad - you are angry shouted at him
Did you cry would be rezultativen and the child stop doing what you angered. < But in this way you give your child a good lesson cry It will certainly take with you an example of
Error number 9:.. < Do not restrain negative emotions If a child under than? If you just burned on the stove at the same time, broke a plate and stepped on the tail of a cat? Or slept on the job. Or lost keys.
You hold a negative emotion or spewing them out? Can you in such sharp and unpleasant moments to begin loudly indignant, swearing, shouting or crying?
< The child, of course, will not condemn you for hysteria. But such behavior will note
error number 10:. < Do not pay attention to the child You have a lot to do after all? Lots of? Of course, the child you care - about their safety, health and comfort. But can it be of any concern to find time for endless children's games? And is it strong enough to incessant chatter offspring?
So go about your business! A child let him play - he. And let the chatter stops: you are tired
He somehow gets used. And learned to play himself, and stop to chat. But do not be surprised it is not clear where the undertaken tantrums. < Your baby is still hoping to bring you out of your affairs to him.
All errors, which we were talking, are quite common. The price of them is very high. Result of your incontinence, permissiveness, inconsistency, excessive strictness, excessive employment - nervousness and hysteria child
In your power to avoid such unfortunate consequences. Appreciate, understand, respect and love their children. And let the children's tantrums never happen in your home!