544
5 ways to accidentally make everyone hate you
We did not even think that infuriate everyone around is so easy. h3> Whether happened to you is to friends, colleagues or acquaintances suddenly angry with you without any reason? Maybe you tell yourself that these guys are too sensitive and have no right to be angry, because you did not do?
Psychologist David Wong believes that the reasons for such a behavior is always there. It turns out, can cause a mortal man strong offense and did not even notice it. Details - in an article by David on Website
5. You are silent, therefore you ignore. H3> For those of us who have not given too easily communicate with other people, silence seems to be the best option. If you are an introvert, you most want to let other people just shut up - and you are happy to offer them the same response service. Therefore, faced with a colleague at the mall, you might prefer to sneak past him, and not spend it and your time on useless conversation. And, most likely, you will hear the currently followed: "That goat!»
What's the problem?
Many think so. And for them it is an insult - one of the worst, what you can imagine.
Imagine - you are for a job to a new job. Which is better - to receive a letter of refusal or do not get any response? Of course, the failure - it is bad, but the lack of response speaks of neglect, and it is a thousand times worse. Similarly, some people perceive your reluctance to speak to them.
Remember the old saying: "Hatred - not the opposite of love. Indifference - contrast ».
So keep in mind ...
People who you refuse to communicate, think that in this way you show its superiority over them. And if you've found it strange that someone thinks ordinary daily interaction struggle for power - congratulations, now you have discovered something incredibly important about the world.
4. You showed its superiority. H3> Imagine this situation: the weekend you were taken in a country restaurant pretty girl, and when to take her home, your car suddenly stalled, had to call tow truck and pay for repairs, but she all this time was with you, even stayed with you at night, and seems to have everything goes perfectly.
And on Monday, the cooler you are telling this wonderful story of a colleague. But for unknown reasons, the guy then begins to have avoided. And you honestly wondering, why would it.
What's the problem?
You told my story about the restaurant, girl, broken car and an expensive repair guy who for two years with no one to meet, lives with his mother disabled on the outskirts, spends almost all his money on drugs and doctors for her and every day to get to work with two changes on the bus.
Your story he perceived as banal bragging and trying to show how you are happy and successful, unlike him.
So keep in mind ...
For many of us the uncertainty of his "rank" - an open wound, so the success of communication to those who are "above", we have to diminish their dignity. Did you notice that the pretty actress is often said, if they turn out badly at all photo?
The trap is that we often do not realize that in this particular situation, we have superiority over others. We simply can not know that a person somewhere has a similar "open" wound.
But remember - the fact that you are someone accidentally touched, it does not change anything. Any of your interaction with the person, which leads to lower his self-esteem plays against you.
3. They think that you owe them. H3> Whether happened to you is that after leaving your former partner pathetically exclaimed: "How can you throw me like that? And that, after all that I've done for you! »
Or you refuse to provide a service because a friend that you think is quite good (for example, you can not help him with the move, because the work that day), and then discover that the friend you mortally offended.
What's the problem?
This occurs in many unhappy families. My wife thinks, "This guy was a bungler lonely before I found it, who knows where he would have been if I did not save it! Probably he would already have died. " Meanwhile, the husband thinks differently: "I am the breadwinner, I gave her a good home, if not for me, she would have contacted with some scumbag who would beat her. Perhaps to death! ". Everyone considers himself respects martyr who sacrifices everything for the ungrateful partner.
The same can happen to your work - everyone in your department thinks that it is thanks to his heroic work of the company is still afloat, but the boss said that he was simply feeding a crowd of idlers. Employees are shocked and outraged when the company announces layoffs heartless and leadership shocked and offended when any of you go without explanation.
So keep in mind ...
But he could not explain why he perceives you as a debtor - he just gets angry when you refuse to "pay." That's another obvious reason why someone is angry with you, "without provocation».
2. You're wasting their time. H3> You only boss sent e-mail to a simple question or a pair of his thoughts, but for some reason it scared mad. That unbalanced bitch!
Then, in the evening, you decide spontaneously mislaid home to an old friend and talk, but the bastard was not at all happy to even have tried in every way to show the door as soon as possible. Well, so what?
Or, for example, you post on the wall in the social network of your acquaintance touching birthday greetings, and he did not even bother to answer. This is normal at all?
What's the problem?
It's not that their anger they wanted to assert his superiority over you: "I have all the important and busy, and you're just the last slave in line to welcome me." On the contrary, they feel helpless as you become one of the people who are trying to steal their already limited time. That is why they are angry at you. Similarly, a millionaire could say homeless, lost his last pair of shoes, that is no reason to be upset.
I tell you about myself. My last article contains 6 million views and almost every one of these people leave a comment or send me a personal letter, a message on Facebook, in Twitter and even phone me to help with their problems. I could not do it physically and had to disappoint many people who were hoping for my help.
Now, raise your hands those who really I am sorry. So I thought, almost no one. Now you are angry at me, because I believe that I am bragging - just like in the fourth paragraph ('oh, I'm so famous, a star of all stars! "). That's the whole point: there is no good way to explain the other person that you do not have time for him. It always implies a more important affairs than he.
So keep in mind ...
Remember that you are only one link in a chain of strange human interactions. Therefore, keep in mind that you always have to pay and your "predecessor", even if it seems to you that you do not need.
1. Do you think that all are satisfied. H3> This is probably the case that can sneak up to each of us. The problem may occur between roommates, friends, spouses and even entire nations.
In the office, for example, there are some new requirements meaningless - for example, "From now on, no one can adjust the thermostat, without asking permission of the head».
And your girlfriend suddenly decides that Friday will be no more "pizza night", although this year and a half she liked everything.
Do you get the idea - everything was fine, the system worked as designed, and suddenly they push these absurd demands. And then you say something like this:
"Why did they rock the boat now, when everything was going so well?»
"Why do they complain, because we've always done!»
"I do not have any problems, you're screaming!»
What's the problem?
You find yourself caught up in the conflict, even knowing that it is - a conflict. You will not pay attention to it, until it's too late. Government of entire countries fell so.
Again a little about yourself. As a Christian, I have long thought that Christianity is assumed by default. The world was divided into Christians and eccentrics. I was shocked when I found in college that some people are offended if called their recovery after surgery "a miracle." "No, this is the result of three months of painful rehabilitation, intensive work is very expensive doctors and help loving parents, who settled on the three works, to pay all" - they said. "Well, yes, yes, burn in hell, atheist hippies" - I smiled to myself.
But it happens in all spheres of life. When a painful social issue, is always a group of people like me - those who are surprised that the other team is dissatisfied with the "normal" state of affairs. "We do not want to offend anyone, we just want everything to remain as it is", - the usual justification for such people.
So keep in mind ...
Yes, it was, but only for you. You do not feel their superiority, because it is a normal characteristic of power - its support feels it as the norm. Unlike other members of social interaction.
Of all the traps in this list - the worst, because you can get others to hate yourself, not even knowing about it. To avoid it, you have to be constantly vigilant. It is difficult, but the number of people screaming at you, drops significantly.
via www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-youre-accidentally-making-everyone-hate-you/
