Odessa care post

Odessa - a special city. On the unique humor and slang, famous of its inhabitants were legends, write books and make films. Community residents of Odessa - is a different story: it combines sincere solicitude to the sarcasm of clean water.

< Website I believe that the residents of this unique beauty of the city can learn ironic attitude to life and to ourselves.

- Fima, my dear in-law, kill a fly, they carry the infection!
- Mom, calm down, it will not lift you.
- Sam, do you still want some tea?
- Yes!
- So get up and brew!
- Then I do not want!
- So lie down and do not lie!
Odessa Privoz. Man walks through the ranks with a piece of paper.
- Man, you forgot to buy a bow!
- But I have not written a bow.
- So I go I will add you!
- - My Lucy forever whining: "Mine have nothing to wear, nothing to wear mine!»
  - Oh, Fima! I beg you! Give her a sack of potatoes, and let myself is!
- - Sarah, I asked you to stroke my jacket!
  - So I stroked.
  - Not true! $ 100 as lying in the inside pocket, and lie!
- In Odessa polyclinic:
  - Seals will put free of charge or so to keep?
- The visitor asks odessite:
  - So where is your Deribasivska?
  - So you still go to the same trolley seven stops! - Responsible Odessa.
  - What are you saying?! - Outraged visitors. - I was riding on the bus, and I was told that you need to go.
  - And you, when traveling, sitting or standing?
  - - Fima, let's finally buy curtains, otherwise this Schwitzer across the street saw me naked ...
    - Oh, Fira, is not fooling. If he sees you naked, he can afford to buy the curtains!
  - - Madame! When you smile, I terribly want to invite you to her.
    - Oh-oh-oh ... You're such a philanderer ?!
    - I beg you! I posh dentist ...
  - - Madame Figner, and what are you now eat so little?
    - Beach figure!
    - Oh! To save your figure - we must eat, eat and eat!
    - The husband and wife:
      - Where are you going?
      - The store.
      - Money taken?
      - Took.
      - Look no waste!
    - Rabinovich came home from work, without sentiment, but the woman immediately shared with him the bad ...
    - - Abraham, can I use your lawn mower?
      - Yes, Moishe, but only within the limits of my land ...
    - - Izzy, when we get married, I will share with you all of your worries and concerns ...
      - But Sarochka, I did not have any worries and concerns!
      - I say - when we get married.
      - - You take another piece of meat.
        - Thank you, I ate two slices.
        - Actually chetype ... Yes, you eat, who believes!
      - - Hello, Aunt Celia. And Izzy home?
        - Izzy eats. And you may also want to eat?
        - I want to.
        - So go home to eat!
      - The doctor tells the patient:
        - You can not drink, smoke, get involved in casual sex, play cards ... Sick:
        - Doctor, tell me honestly: there is already had my little Sophie?
        
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