5 popular psychological tips that are almost always inappropriate

Giving advice for many people is the same need as sex, for example. So they feel the wise men in the world, full of inexperience and naivety.

1. "You would not abandon their beliefs!" This is probably one of the most cunning tips, because it is the basis of almost all the heroic stories. Who would have known about Giordano Bruno, if he in fear of penalty renounced their beliefs? If so you have something you believe in, then you must protect your truth to the last drop of blood.

All these characters know it. And you do want to be a hero? Well, stand and death ... unless your beliefs are not contrary to the beliefs of others - with whom you communicate, and who love to give advice. Or ...

Another option:

"Never stop fighting ... but do not forget to think on the side if you're fighting».

Ask animal rights from PETA, whether scientists who conduct experiments on animals, fight for their beliefs. Ask researchers what they think about the persistence of people from PETA. Yes they are for each other just the embodiment of the world's evil and morality trampled!

Most of the "fighters" - not heroes, but rather, fanatics. Because they are unable to compromise, and a compromise - this is what allows humanity to move forward. And it becomes possible only when the person begins to realize that the other party is infected with this "Real heroes never give way!" "Always go to the end, no matter what!»

But ... even the Ku Klux Klan absolutely sure of high morality that does.

Like those people that smash clinics where abortions. And Adolf Hitler, too, fought to the end for what he believed, if it comes to that.

So if you're going to "put his life" to fight for something, then it might be worth at the same time declare and Crusade (preferably the same length of life) for that to be absolutely sure that you are in this fight - not Hitler?

2. "Always say what you think!" When I was in fourth grade, we had a teacher who began to shout for any reason and for no reason at all, and do it consistently. Later we learned that during that period she divorced her husband and so she was a little crazy.

Every time she began berating me, it is unclear what his shrill voice, for me, a nine-year child, tears welling. And I could not think of anything better than to pretend that I had suddenly twisted stomach and I urgently need the toilet, where I sat out until the end of the lesson, only to come back in this nightmare.

When I complained to my mother, she said: "No one will climb into your head and do not know what's on your mind. If you think that the teacher yells at you is unjust, tell her about it, looking straight into my eyes. " I obeyed, and the next time the teacher blurted out that she scolded me unjustly. Then she realized that she can not pluck their anger on children, never apologized, and so is no longer made.

Joke. Of course, nothing she realized only vyzverilas even more - as they say, I dare talk back to the teacher. A few minutes later I was standing in the director's office, where he was trying to express his point of view - this time for people who like no one got divorced and had to think sensibly. I thought that at least then I'll understand. Nothing like this. Even focus stomach was not passed.

So I found for myself a different formulation:

"To express your opinion, but do not be surprised if no one wants to listen to you».

The process of growing up involves, among other things, awareness of the sad truth: the world, in fact, do not care about your opinion. Every child does this discovery for themselves as soon as the first time enter into an argument with an adult: I have no experience, you do not know how to argue and defend their position. Until you have mastered only one tactic - to repeat the same thing over and over again, louder and louder, and hoped that such an obvious truth to you somehow find the way to the mind of an adult. And when an adult realizes that the dispute is useless, the leading killer argument - that he lives longer, therefore, he knows more, and therefore his view is important, and your - no. You "do not even understand what they say».

And from that moment you learn to keep their views to themselves. They do not matter, because you have reached the required age or level of education.

Then you finish school, and in a phase of your life, when you think you know and understand just everything. Then you may have to enter a university, then you and your friends become evident that the world would be perfect if mankind listened to what you are trying to convey to him. And then you have a new spiral repeats the same phase through which you passed when the child first entered into an argument with an adult. And once you learn to keep your thoughts to yourself.

You can not escape serious and bitter disappointments, if you wait, when the world will start to listen to you (in fact, it is quite possible that for your friends / colleagues / dog is your opinion of little value).

3. "What it was. Forget about the past! "My past is far from perfect. In my youth I loiter, he slept on couches at friends and relatives brought a lot of trouble, who are exhausted, to pay the bills. My life has been like one endless party. When I finally began to grow, I had to apologize to so many people and it was for that. And most of all, in response I heard something like "Well, I'm glad you finally come to his senses. What happened was something, the past can not be undone. Forget about it. Think of the future ».

Partly, of course, they were right. It is very important to forgive yourself for the mistakes that have been made in the past and begin to move forward. Otherwise guilt can drive you to distraction. But it does not mean that we should just forget about what went through and how you got to where appeared.

I would rephrase this advice so:

"Remember your mistakes, but do not let it become an obsession»

People who constantly bite himself for past sins, as intolerable as those that never for a moment cease to think of the perfection and exclusivity. In both cases, the person ceases to notice other people and focuses solely on itself.

It is not that we should forget about the past. The point is how to reconcile with him.

Awareness of errors and their impact - this is something that can make you better than you are now. If you remember the sad consequences that resulted in the wrong decision in the past, you think twice before making the same stupid in the future.

But when a man offers to "start from scratch", then it is likely that he was simply trying to manipulate you. As ex-girlfriend, who wants to get back to you: "Let's forget all the insults." It's tempting, because it sounds like forgiveness. But in most cases people simply want you to forget about his own doorposts. Ex-girlfriend to anything that you remembered that your separation was a good reason.

"Let's forget the past. Because thinking about it, I feel awful. Let's just move on to the part that gives me pleasure ».

4. "In this life, you can only trust yourself!" At that very easy to believe. There will always be someone who is very experienced, who will explain how in the world things work, and you need to constantly be on guard not to fall into traps placed everywhere.

In fact, this passive-aggressive philosophy inherent, usually people who like to pose as victims. They burned a couple of times and now live with the firm conviction that everything is just waiting for the opportunity to substitute and unseat them.

In fact, usually it is to be understood as "in my life, everything goes wrong, and I do not know how to solve their problems. I take all responsibility, because corruption in the state and the imperfection of the world in general make my personal efforts meaningless and useless ».

Maybe questioning the motives of others and reasonable, as well as to be careful for potential thieves. But to build their entire lives on the idea that you - the only credible person on the planet, is not only foolish, but dangerous. Not to mention the fact that it is one of the most selfish of all possible settings.

My version:

"Bad people exist. Learn to distinguish between them ».

The whole point of communication is to surround yourself with people who are close to you and to distance themselves from those you do not want to see next to him.

We were created to live in small groups, and for the formation of these groups requires us to trust, at least, a select few.

You are absolutely not necessary to adjust itself to the fact that all the people around you are playing a game, "Well, who was the first of its poimeet?" This would mean that you - the only one morally healthy person on the planet. Add a couple of hallucinations - and we can safely diagnose "paranoid schizophrenia».

This does not mean that you have to put on rose-colored glasses and share with everyone their secrets. The world is full of people who did not miss an opportunity to use you, to cheat and substitute. That does not mean, and what each person should approach with caution, as a rattlesnake.

This is good advice for those who are looking for an excuse to avoid the difficulties that always arise when you try to build relationships with other people. They are not cynics. Just lazy.

5. "Catch the moment! Live each day as the last! "From this council gives the same idealism, as well as from the call" absolutely love all people. " If I really knew that today - the last day of my life, I would first of all withdrew all the money from your account, and would have spent on something that could never afford, because I had to think about what will happen tomorrow. The second thing I would do - would find a monster who mocked me in school and make him answer for my humiliation.

Why not? If there is no tomorrow - it means no consequences, no responsibility. Tomorrow may fall to Earth any comet - and all. So why not live as though it really happen? Can you imagine a world where teenagers in the blood which played hormones easily fit and offer sex? What? If there is only today, there is no time for dating and courtship. So it turns out the only way out - just come and ask until someone will say "yes." You hate your job? Well, drive in it - go and give out, finally, the chief everything you boiling there. Why waste time on things that do not enjoy, even without them you will quickly find yourself on the street?

Another option:

"Fill sense today»

This means: do something today, tomorrow, looking back, you could be proud of. Today you have a chance to make life "you tomorrow," a little bit easier and more enjoyable. The less you think about the future, the harder you will be aware that the comet had not arrived, and you for a moment of pleasure squandered an empty time, money and effort.

Do not get me wrong, enjoy every day - it's great. And, of course, you can not spend all his life exclusively to prepare for the future. But there is only one category of people who have every right to live day to day - children. It is for this reason they have someone to take care.

Source: www.mixstuff.ru

via factroom.ru