Yuri Height: Shame on me

Shame is not a sin. Shame - a child of sin. Maybe it's a shame repentance for their actions inaccurate movement of the soul, conscious weakness, or unconscious recognition of unjust power on your fear or your indifference.

Shame, if not suppressed, can act as an internal relay, its current weak capable disconnect the system from a great meanness. Or consciousness to include rejection of lies as an argument for the decision, which temporarily makes life easier. You think you change it briefly - to the new circumstances, and explain this to my shame, saying, Have patience, everything will return to their seats. And you think he's realizing calms ceases to interfere with your choice. And he just leaves you. And you live as if as before. Comfortable and humbly. However, this may be a different life.

I keep my shame. He does not allow himself to forget and torments me since August and sixty-eight. No, it was later, when, being used to cut and paste a great album all notes until unsigned informashek (this was then culture publications), I bragged to a woman is looked after, their journalistic achievements. She read printed, then looked up and asked if I wrote pasted?

- Yes!

- And this?

There was a tiny information without the signature of a meeting at a Moscow factory "Dinamo", workers who approved the Soviet invasion of Czechoslovakia.

- I mean, I did not think so. It was an editorial job that gave me - the trainee, not even told. I could not do it. And such a meeting was indeed.

The woman began to cry, got up and left.

I pulled out a note from the album. And it is not pulled out of life. It was my ashes. My relay. I hate to remember this story, but do not remember it does not give me shame.

And in the events in Czechoslovakia were artists and journalists who - who is from the Soviet encouragement, who from slavish dependence, who wishes to confirm commitment to build, and the leader of the party - have expressed approval and support, which, by any reckoning, neither the party nor the system or leader did not need.

The decision was made without any account of so-called public opinion, the role of which tends to zero. Test of loyalty through zero were many, have bypassed without shame. All the more so after his historic decision to turn in an era of historical errors, the leaders have become heroes of jokes, and those who endorse and support, began to live harmoniously and reverently, as if nothing had happened. And was it? Was.

In the stories were seven people that came to protest against the Soviet invasion of the Red Square, and cruel ditty of five words about war correspondent Charles Nepomnyastchy who died in the crash of the helicopter in Czechoslovakia when he was carrying propaganda leaflets. "He handed Nepomnyashchii feet fraternal assistance" ... Although this assistance, it is clear he is not organized. He simply refused. Like me from notes.

This is a great talent - the gift of non-participation.

My friend, the great film director Georgy Danelia, when he received a call from a proposal to support military intervention in Ukraine, explained that he did not quite have the information to make a decision, and proposed legislation to ban cultural workers to sign a letter in support of the decisions that are already that have already been taken.

Gift of participation - no less talent.

Little information notes unsigned be important vaccination, made me think not only about the consequences of words and deeds, but also about the actual actions and words. I did not blame for the fact that people do not think and act the way I defined it for sympathy. God will judge him, and he himself a lawyer. His right to love that he sees fit, or hate it, believe it or say what you believe, even lie to themselves and others - his right. Not I wrote the commandments, I do not check them.

But I have a right to: I feel ashamed. Over the lies, hypocrisy, for the violation of human rights and international agreements, no matter what country they are violated. My home - especially. Well, what can you do? I hear this enthusiastic and threatening rubbish: motives, benefits, the circumstances - and ashamed ... right eye dale.

In Tbilisi, April 9 at night 89-year, I was on Rustaveli Avenue, when Soviet soldiers crushing a peaceful rally. As a witness, described all that he had seen with his own eyes: beating indiscriminately gas victims, and sent a note in the "Literary Gazette", where he worked. From Moscow, I was told that the Party Central Committee decided, as it was in fact, and offered to print fake propaganda. To my shame old could add a new, but colleagues from the "Youth of Georgia" help me out. They printed text in the form in which I sent it to Moscow. And pictures.

A paper Thani Chanturia, correspondent of "Izvestia", these events did not publish her newspaper. Before it was a choice - save job or shame. She retired from the newspaper.

Once we sat down with Alexander Nikolaevich Yakovlev, the smartest man, a war veteran disabled, believed in communist ideas, the ability to put the state in the service of man, and by the end of his life became a secretary of the Central Committee to promote reasoned anti-communist.

Who had access to classified material the Soviet secret police, he saw the extent of the expansion of the people: the betrayal of friends, everyone's whistleblowing, spiritual ugliness of many figures of culture, science, art, writers, commanders, political and business leaders, who then, in the new time, it took the form of " decent "people.

- I live as if in an aquarium with transparent walls. Talk to sane person, and I know his history of illness.

He was aware that a person can develop normally, if life is changing views. "Defrocked" worthy of understanding and respect, if the acquired image is sincere thoughts. Worthy of understanding and those to whom were applied brutal enforcement cooperation, - pain threshold is different for everyone. Life, health and freedom of loved ones, which as an instrument of torture (and in fact torture) used the system, are entitled to understand these accidents by putting yourself in their shoes.

But a significant portion of spies and informers acted voluntarily, selfish, not motivated or "high" idea, nor fear for their own lives. For liberated in communal rooms from planted their neighbors, for the sake of new posts, for the sake of early editions, for the sake of good apartments, villas, benefits, chief among them - to be in a cage close to power and caressed it.

I do not draw parallels. Today, thank God, we are not talking about the loss of life. Only about losing face. Belief - a strong argument. They are all different. And people have to accept the way they are. They just have a different value system. Many people do not hide their shame. Yes, he called them otherwise.

For example, national pride, or a deep sense of moral satisfaction or political benefit. Not enemies, and those who, after a reference-threatening calls "play the fool" is meant high public interest for the opportunity to continue their work. And even those who "his pants, running for the Young Communist League," making an effort to be in the list of preferred build individuals, are not enemies. They, you know, such spiritual businessmen, patriots mode, which is now in the court.

Whatever it was. They are not afraid of losing face, because they do not have it. And what patriotism can reflect a person with no face. The image of faceless people do not create an image of the country. And my country's image is. This is the amount of people with the dignity of the person and its components and glory. And this country that I love Russia. And proud of it.

The President called the people of their national traitor, and I feel ashamed. He is a hero. Held and won the Olympics, joining Crimea - rejoice! Most and rejoices, but some of the people fell out of a single grand rush. Someone not happy, and anxiety. We found Abkhazia (or not found?), Lost to Georgia. We have found the Crimea, Ukraine lost ... Who else from the former brothers we lost on the way "gathering lands"? And winning some stydnovato. We take the closest. Who is it next? Moldova? Kazakhstan?

What are angry that not all citizens want war with his brother, although the situation has "otkusat" something historically expensive to us. The rest of a happy yet. We will continue to live on. Only now it will be a different life.

Without shame.
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