Jeremy Clarkson

In our time, in this world you can meet a lot of Russian, and things are going very well. They always have a huge clock, big cars and jeans with embroidery. Many have even football clubs.





Therefore, it would be logical - if you had an airline - to try to impress these newly rich, highlighting a flight to Moscow is the rasposledny, brand new and sparkling liner. Ironically, British Airways decided to reverse.

From my own experience I can tell, that BA withdraw their best aircraft on transatlantic routes, and then - when nuts and bolts are beginning to creak - Ships dismissed from the service at JFK Airport and is used to transport tourists to the Caribbean island. When they become too decrepit, even for this, you begin to fly to Uganda and then - so I thought - allowed them to scrap or sell in Angola. But no.

It seems that they give a firefighter who carried on their training for the evacuation of passengers, and then the special forces, the soldiers who run on the charred frame and shoot imaginary terrorists. It was only after the aircraft sent to Moscow flight.

Recently I was flying British Airways in Russia, and so you imagine how old the plane was, except to say that the on-board video system lost VHS-tape. It does not improve the quality and the fact that the screen is smaller than 2 inches diagonally. And he hung on the partition wall a few meters away from me. Besides, it was broken. As the toilet seat.

I was going to write a letter to the president of AD and explain to him that he is everything mixed up. Use the best ship for the competition with American Airlines - on which there is nothing but fatty hamovatyh ladies and shitty feeding - is how to display the first part of the game against Chelsea at Doncaster Rovers.

I was going to draw his attention - because it is clear that he simply did not know - that the Berlin Wall had not, and that Russian is no longer allowed to stand for six years in the queue for beet, and that they will not shoot if they say after that that it is a little rough.

I'm also going to invite him to look at the GUM - Department Store on Red Square. There were times when people came here thousands of kilometers just because delivery came pencils. Now, on the background of the Westfield Shopping Centre in London resemble Ethiopian little shops. The smallest watches are more than the TV screen, which I have not been able to see during the flight, and the underwear is more expensive ticket for the flight.

And not only in material values. In Russia, people are free to speak absolutely everything that comes to mind. Try to think like Russian in Britain - and you stoned for racism and okleymyat fanatic. Would you like to suggest that the legal age of 12? For God's sake. You will not be called a pedophile - and listened with interest, why do you think so. These 70 years can not discuss anything. Now they want to discuss everything.

Of course, you can not write derogatory articles about Vladimir Putin - if you do not wish to pinch radiation scrambled eggs for breakfast, but you can talk about anything. And anyone. I thought it was extremely svobodonravnym.

And one more thing. In Britain, when Sir Philip Green and Sir Lord Sugar will spend the evening in a restaurant in the heart of London's Wolseley, crimp with a dozen long-legged prostitutes, all over the scandal. In Russia, similar considered in the order of things.

One friend sent a message, when I was there, "Be on the alert. Moscow is bad for the soul. " He is wrong. Soul, she was not hurt, can not be said of marriage, the bank account and the men's sector.

Moscow is full of life. Be sure to try the bone marrow is in the "Cafe Pushkin" and spend a few minutes on the roadside, trying to see at least one car less € 50 000, based on the British currency. Then pay attention to the sidewalk and try to find at least one girl who would be thick or less than 1, 80 m tall, and not wearing jeans to a nice style. I have no idea what Hugh Hefner dreams in their wet dreams. But I bet he dreams of something like this.

I visited the Kremlin, and found that it completely restored and rebuilt. But not so that it resembled how could look like in the past - and so that foreign diplomats legs gave way from his greatness. Each room is - as the fantasy of a four-year gold-crazed princess.

And then - when I had decided that Russia is similar to the fruit of love Monte Carlo and Kuwait - someone leaned over and whispered that Lada Riva has not yet been taken out of production. And you forgive me, but it's like to hear that the king of Saudi Arabia himself engaged in washing, using a basin and washboard.

Why Lada still do Reeve? Why though someone of those with whom I had seen during his visit, you may need such a lousy car? Or so it improved since it was the main course in the automotive diet followers of Mr. Arthur Scargill? I had to find out. What I did. And nothing has changed. Moreover, it seems to me, it has become worse.

Riva began life in 1966 in Turin, where it was known as the Fiat 124. Fiat struck a deal with the communists and helped to build a plant in Russia, where the development of the old company was put into production. She was the Lada Riva.

Fans will argue that over the years a lot has changed, but I can say that nothing has changed at all. Well, except that now the Riva is also produced in such great automotive power as Ukraine and Egypt.

I do not know where I came from the machine on which I traveled. Or who did it. I can only guess that it was something very angry because the car is terrible. The steering column was like welded to the dashboard, and therefore refused to rotate. The brake pedal causes the machine at the same time lightly dispersed and turn left.

The buttons on the panel seemed fastened leading program "Good night, kids!", And the engine is removed from the concrete mixer, which is the last 30 years been destroying rebel soldiers in Southern Sudan.

It could accelerate to 100 km / h. But only in the days when it was producing Fiat. Becoming a Lada, she even lost the ability to move. And, my God - what a lousy assembly!

When I finally moved it to the monster truck, it is folded in half. For comparison - when this is the monster truck recently moved Indian CityRover, the car was still very personal.

So why Reva has not yet been discontinued? Why do people in Russia still buy it? Maybe the reason is that outside of Moscow gilded and bleached smiles rest of the country - to put it mildly - a little bednovato?

In other words, maybe the president of BA knows something I do not understand those Russians who can afford to fly a private jet.

And those who can not - sit in the wilderness, boiled turnips and do not lose hope that one day will be able to afford to buy a car that is outdated by 45 years, even before he could leave the damn wall dealership.

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