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10 rules dating my daughter
Rule one
If you podezzhaya to my house, you'll be a loud signal, only your excuse - that you and the postman brought me an urgent parcel. Otherwise you and my daughter did not shine.
Rule two
Do not touch my daughter in front of me. You can look at it on the condition that you think will not fall below her neck. If you can not keep your eyes or hands under control, I will remove them for you.
Rule three
I understand that falling from wearing large ass pants on the floor - it's mono and stylish. Please do not take this for an insult, but you, like your buddies - a complete idiot. However, I am very tolerant, so I suggest a compromise: you can come in your pants ten sizes too big need out of which stick out cowards, and I will not say a word. However, to ensure that the pants do not fall down with you on a date with my daughter, I gently fasten trousers to your waist with the help of the construction pistol.
Rule Four
I'm sure you've heard that nowadays sex without any protection can cause death. I decipher: I - the protection of my daughter to have sex, and I'll kill you, too.
Rule Five
In order to better know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other nonsense. Please do not start that. The only information that I need from you - when are you going to get my daughter home safe and sound, and the only acceptable content of this information - "as soon as possible».
Rule Six
I have no doubt that you - cool dude, and a bunch of other girls dries you. This is not a problem as long as my daughter is all right. Otherwise, you budish compelled to meet her as long as she does not leave you. If you do neschastnoy my girl, I will make YOU miserable.
Rule Seven
Standing in the hallway, waiting for my daughter to meet, coughing and whistling, even when waiting for her for an hour. If you wanted to come to the cinema necessarily to the very beginning of the film, I could go there alone. My daughter puts make-up, which spans about the same time as painting the Golden Gate Bridge using buckets and brushes. Instead of stupidly stand and wait until you could do something socially useful, for example - change the oil in my car.
Rule eight
Black list of places where _not_ stoit_ drive my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas and other horizontal surfaces, softer than a wooden bench. Places where there are no parents, priests and policemen. Dark places. Places where dancing, having fun and holding hands. Places where hot enough, my daughter wore to pants, tops, short T-shirts and stuff, with the exception of overalls, sweaters and buttoned to the throat of winter jackets. Movies on themes of love and sex - is strictly prohibited; Allowed films about maniacs with chainsaws. Hockey matches are allowed. Muzie crafts folk art - even better hockey.
Rule ninth
Do not lie to me. Outwardly I seem to pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged fool, but when it comes to my girl, I - the omniscient and ruthless ruler of the universe. When I ask where and with whom you are going, you will have exactly one chance to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and six acres of lawn in the backyard - so do not lie to me.
Rule tenth
Fear. Very afraid. I easily can take the sound of the engine of your car for the chatter of the helicopter, making combat set in the rice fields near Hanoi. And when I start to bother contusion, the voices in my head are usually ordered me to clean the guns, in order to better pass the time until your return. Once you vedesh yard, you have to stop the car and get out of it, holding both hands in plain sight, and then loud and clear prooiznesti password and report on the delivery of her daughter. Then release my daughter out of the car, and the leave. To accompany my daughter to the porch there nakoy necessary. If you see in the camouflage painted face - Fear not, for I am.
If you podezzhaya to my house, you'll be a loud signal, only your excuse - that you and the postman brought me an urgent parcel. Otherwise you and my daughter did not shine.
Rule two
Do not touch my daughter in front of me. You can look at it on the condition that you think will not fall below her neck. If you can not keep your eyes or hands under control, I will remove them for you.
Rule three
I understand that falling from wearing large ass pants on the floor - it's mono and stylish. Please do not take this for an insult, but you, like your buddies - a complete idiot. However, I am very tolerant, so I suggest a compromise: you can come in your pants ten sizes too big need out of which stick out cowards, and I will not say a word. However, to ensure that the pants do not fall down with you on a date with my daughter, I gently fasten trousers to your waist with the help of the construction pistol.
Rule Four
I'm sure you've heard that nowadays sex without any protection can cause death. I decipher: I - the protection of my daughter to have sex, and I'll kill you, too.
Rule Five
In order to better know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other nonsense. Please do not start that. The only information that I need from you - when are you going to get my daughter home safe and sound, and the only acceptable content of this information - "as soon as possible».
Rule Six
I have no doubt that you - cool dude, and a bunch of other girls dries you. This is not a problem as long as my daughter is all right. Otherwise, you budish compelled to meet her as long as she does not leave you. If you do neschastnoy my girl, I will make YOU miserable.
Rule Seven
Standing in the hallway, waiting for my daughter to meet, coughing and whistling, even when waiting for her for an hour. If you wanted to come to the cinema necessarily to the very beginning of the film, I could go there alone. My daughter puts make-up, which spans about the same time as painting the Golden Gate Bridge using buckets and brushes. Instead of stupidly stand and wait until you could do something socially useful, for example - change the oil in my car.
Rule eight
Black list of places where _not_ stoit_ drive my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas and other horizontal surfaces, softer than a wooden bench. Places where there are no parents, priests and policemen. Dark places. Places where dancing, having fun and holding hands. Places where hot enough, my daughter wore to pants, tops, short T-shirts and stuff, with the exception of overalls, sweaters and buttoned to the throat of winter jackets. Movies on themes of love and sex - is strictly prohibited; Allowed films about maniacs with chainsaws. Hockey matches are allowed. Muzie crafts folk art - even better hockey.
Rule ninth
Do not lie to me. Outwardly I seem to pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged fool, but when it comes to my girl, I - the omniscient and ruthless ruler of the universe. When I ask where and with whom you are going, you will have exactly one chance to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and six acres of lawn in the backyard - so do not lie to me.
Rule tenth
Fear. Very afraid. I easily can take the sound of the engine of your car for the chatter of the helicopter, making combat set in the rice fields near Hanoi. And when I start to bother contusion, the voices in my head are usually ordered me to clean the guns, in order to better pass the time until your return. Once you vedesh yard, you have to stop the car and get out of it, holding both hands in plain sight, and then loud and clear prooiznesti password and report on the delivery of her daughter. Then release my daughter out of the car, and the leave. To accompany my daughter to the porch there nakoy necessary. If you see in the camouflage painted face - Fear not, for I am.
