You met such people from communicating with which the hair stand on end and you want bounced around the room or just a loud scream? You are not alone.
For all the time I met such difficult people, and often. With people who have not yet passed the job on time, as promised, who skipped the meeting, who passionately argued their opinion and were not going to compromise, refused to carry out what were obliged - and much, much more. Even when I do their own thing, I had joint projects, where it is difficult to come to a common agreement because each showed firmness in defending their own views.
It lacked before me, and I began to express dissatisfaction with the situation. I thought about why all these people so hard, why they are so irresponsible. I thought it was just me so "lucky" to work with them and what's more I'm never going to deal with them.
And then I realized that these people are everywhere. Wherever you go, you can not hide from them. Of course, you can not communicate with one such person and try to avoid the latter. But what to do with the third, fifth or tenth? You do not work all the time to hide. Moreover, when it comes to work, it is usually difficult to avoid someone or hide until you work together. Of course, I do not know what you did, but what you give up work every time someone have a problem, it seems unlikely.
In order not to resort each time to drastic measures, Develop the skills of communication with these people.
Here are 9 tips that I recommend to use when working with them.
1. Remain calm.
Loss of self-control and the indignant cry - not the best way to achieve cooperation such people. Although you believe that your anger can push a person to act and consciously use it as an incentive, it is better to pretend that you are absolutely sure.
The one who is calm, looks confident, focused and deserve respect. You no longer want to work with someone who is usually calm, or those who at any moment can break? When someone with whom you are dealing, sees that you are calm, in spite of all his actions, it will be the best way to attract attention to your words.
2. Learn to understand the intentions of others.
I want to believe that there are no difficult people just because someone wants to be. Even if you think that someone just wants you to get it, it will always be any hidden motives that cause a person to do so. Very rarely these motives are obvious. Try to understand what motivates that person that makes him do so, that prevents him from working with you. And how can we help him and solve this problem.
3. Learn from onlookers.
Most likely, your colleagues, management or friends also from time to time fall into such a situation. They will be able to see what is happening from a different angle and offer a completely different approach. Refer to them, share their problems and listen to what you say. It is likely that you will get a really valuable advice.
4. Explain the reasons for their actions.
I helped one principle - to explain what guides me when I make a particular action. Sometimes the cause of resistance lies in the fact that your opponent thinks quarrelsome and unpleasant just for you. Explain to him, on what basis your actions, explain the background of what is happening. Let him be inspired by your understanding of the situation. This will help him to get involved in the work.
5. Naladte contact.
Sometimes the work is transformed into a mechanical process because of the frequent use of computers, e-mail and instant messengers. Return to communicate on a personal level. Walk together with colleagues for breakfast and lunch. Communicate with them as people, not just employees. Be interested in their hobbies, their families than they live. Create powerful connections. It is very important for your work.
6. Treat people with respect.
Anyone not like it if him will be treated as incompetent and incapable fool. If you are a person with no respect, do not be surprised if you meet the same. Remember the golden rule: "Treat others as you want them to treat you».
7. Focus on what you can do.
Sometimes, these employees can create problems for you. For example, do not pass the job they promised to carry out, or you liable for what you did. Whatever it was, accept the situation as it happened. Instead of cycles on the fact that you can not change, concentrate their forces on the fact that you can do in order to adequately resolve the situation.
8. Do not pay attention.
If you have tried everything that I have proposed, but the man did not open for cooperation, the best solution is to simply ignore it. In the end, you did everything you could. Take care of their work and contact with this person only when it's really needed. Of course, it is not easy to implement in practice, if the person has a significant role in your work. And this will be the last tip.
9. Involve to solving the problem of authoritative judges.
If all else fails, ask your supervisor. This is - a very serious tool, so you can use it only when other methods have been exhausted. Sometimes the only opportunity to get someone to move - indicate higher authorities (most often it is possible to observe in bureaucratic organizations). Be careful and do not try this method all the time, if you do not want our bosses think that you are unable to deal with their problems. In his previous work, I repeatedly resorted to this method and found that it really works effectively with those that otherwise refuses to work.
Use these 9 tips to those who prevents you from working, and you will see how they will work together with you :)