How things work: Personal Assistant
Personal Assistant anonymously told why can not often go to the toilet, what to know what it looks like Minister of Economic Development, and what would happen if the chief disappoint.
Personal assistant I began by accident. I worked in this area, but not engaged in absolutely personal. Only a couple of times, my former boss forgot ties in different places in Moscow, and we then searched for their driver.
At the interview, I successfully passed the three-hour test on formatting - in English and Russian. And I coped with English better than Russian. Only after that was a personal meeting with the head of the company. The room came a woman of about forty: expensive dress embroidered with stones, earrings, shoulder-length, evening makeup. She said: "My assistant knows that on the way from London to Moscow, I always take a fruit plate in the plane and on the way from Moscow to London - ever. And it is - 0, 001% of the information that you should remember. And I'm just the chair 2d. If you do not have time to get it, it's your problem. Still I have a mother and children. They also fly, and this, too, must follow. "
Past assistant was fired because he left my boss Galina Yekaterinburg no transfers from the airport. She was beside herself: it is one thing to fly at night in London or New York, the other - in Yekaterinburg and to be without a car and without a trusted way, the driver, who is not exactly your bag soprёt five thousand euros.
The first day, 9 am, and I in the post for 30 tasks from the chef. For example, to transfer 5 million rubles in tax personally. While I do not have these cards and accounts, I do not know how much to pay and how to do it at all. Who to call? Paralegals who work for other top companies, I did not help: "We're busy, we're busy, we have so much to do." Then it was necessary to redeem a bunch of tickets: again, no data cards, nothing, nothing to buy, no amount of money, who to call - nothing is clear. But they told me where the fire exit. Saved only by flight.
On average, I get the job every three minutes. The headmistress woke up at 07:45 and sent the first email. The second email - 7:45. The third email - 7:45. Three e-mails per minute. Next email - 7:46. Next email - 8:05. I waited 14 minutes. One day I had 42 emails to 8am. And they were all from the category - 7:01, 7:02, 7:03, 7:04. When she comes into the office, that's all, all day on it. Past assistant, she wrote: "Alexander, you're too often go to the toilet, what's the problem?" The most rigid expression, if it is dissatisfied with you, "You have a very poor approach. You disappoint me. " If she wrote - all go and hang. And if you wrote "far from ideal", that is the end. To man realized his mistake, it is not necessary to say anything bad or send FIG. It simply says, "It's terrible."
Personal Assistant must always be aware of where he was and that makes it superior. Here I am now know that Galina is at home, she had a family dinner. What from one to four - her favorite lunch, and then everything on schedule. If the assistant suddenly does not know what is happening, it is a failure. Galina once called and asked: "Tell me, where I am now?»
If she goes to a meeting, you must provide a default summary of all with whom she would meet. Their positions, marital status, hobbies, interests. For ten minutes, these documents must be in her car. The supervisor can ask at the reception: "How does the Minister of Economic Development Ulyukayev?" I quickly take off her his picture and resume. She looks up, and then goes and talks freely.
One day she asked me to stop the plane, because it was still on the way to the airport, but registration is already closed. I did everything possible, and let her on board. Often, she jumps on a plane, but the baggage is not jumping (because everything is closed) and fly the next flight. And then we find out where her luggage, and have them delivered to the hotel. There is a standard problem. She can call me and ask: "This is a restaurant in London - good or not? Which is better - to take the car or on foot to walk? "Knowing that she had a 12-inch heels, I'm counting the distance, if more than three minutes, it is best to take the car.
On the birthdays of employees need to be reminded in advance that she, having arrived from a business trip, came to the secretary and said, "Anna, you had a birthday a week ago. Happy birthday to you! "And all her love for it. Although she immediately forgot that her name is Anna, but you reminded her - well done.
Personal Assistant can not come to the boss with a problem - only solution. Before the New Year Galina asked me to order from Astrakhan seven cans of black caviar for corporate gifts. Okay, we bought seven cans for 60 thousand rubles. Ten minutes before going to a party, I remind her, "Galina, it's time to go, otherwise you will not be reached there, the whole of Moscow is worth." And she told me: "You have ten minutes to find the ice pack and Gift caviar. It should not be at room temperature when I'm gonna give it ».
So I run to the store, looking for fish department and beg sellers crushed ice. Pour it into a beautiful clear container, put the top banks with caviar, tied with red ribbon. On New Year parties usually give expensive alcohol, which is no surprise. And here comes my boss, gets a gift bag of cans of ice, through which shines caviar, and gives them. We have created a furore. Incidentally, I spotted while. On the idea, the search for ice and packaging of gifts took eight minutes. It was funny.
Then we had a corporate. The headmistress wanted to go to a party, "Snob" and Forbes Club, because there was a meeting with Chubais. Start time partying same everywhere. Galina I warned that Moscow is in the mirrors. If she goes to a party in the "Snob" and Forbes, will not have time on their own corporate office than seriously offend their employees. There was only one way out - go to the subway. Galina reluctantly agreed. Left the office in mink coat with three-quarter sleeves, bags Bottega Veneta. I had to send her driver who was holding the door and carried her evening shoes. Thursday, 18:20, people go to work at the overloaded branch - with "Pushkin" to "Kuznetsky Most" and then on "Lubyanka." She returned to the office exactly one minute before his opening speech.
The most difficult was the period when the boss goes on vacation to the Maldives. Galina always flies only "Lufthansa", but "Lufthansa" does not fly to the Maldives. I called the company, "Are you sure there is not fly?" - "No, flying Condor Airlines, and we - no." But Galina said firmly: "Condor" - shit, it will fly only "Lufthansa". I offered to fly through another city, then change. The most convenient option was Dubai. Galina told to book a hotel "Burj Al Arab" to settle and a day later to fly from Dubai to the Maldives. And in the "Burj Al Arab" seats were gone. All rooms are booked, luxury-period. But Galina stubborn, "No, I only want 'Burj Al Arab'." We jumped higher than his head, but booked this hotel for two nights.
Then the boss decided that she definitely need to go to the roof, "Burj Khalifa" - the tallest building in Dubai. There lead tours: you pay 123 dollars, you come and see. "But it is necessary to know the exact time of sunrise December 5th. Identify it, "- set me the task of Galina. We had planned this vacation for three months, but I still was able to calculate the time of sunrise and buy tickets for 05:37.
For seven hours before the flight to the Maldives boss I decided to take a piano. "I'm so relaxed," - she said. But that she relaxed, I really have to strain.
Galina offered to leave the piano in the locker room for long-distance flights. I told boss that everything depends on whether the airline would want to take on board all of her musical instrument. For him the need to buy a separate seat 24 hours before departure. We did not. I called in Germany, the main office of "Lufthansa", and said that my boss, an honorary passenger company wants to take on board the piano. I do not understand, "Why?" I said, "Well, to play in the Maldives. It relaxes her. You see, she had already flown 300 times with you and still 500 times flies. She loves you so. It is important that the piano flew with it. " The "Lufthansa" agreed: "All right, bring the registration. No one did not talk, just zaberёm, deliver, and then will issue ».
But in the end I decided against the boss. Not that "thank you, do not." She just did not take the piano with him. At 4 am she landed in Dubai and wrote me a sms: "Thank you, the piano was not useful. And yet we were not on a par with children. This is certainly not the end of the world, but we must take into account. "
I like to work with her boss. When you laid out in full and get back to thank her, just want to cry, cry and still work 24 hours. Because she is so to say thank you. Besides, it's fun. You do not know what's waiting for you the next day. I understand that one day she might ask me to buy her a ticket to the moon. In a typical letter to the post office: "Listen, buy me, huh?" And I'm going to call NASA and asked: "And you can still Galina fly?" - Because you also think that nothing is impossible.
Galina I once offered to have dinner together. I thought for a meal we will again discuss the work. But when I went to the coffee shop, she said, "You're so thin. What do you do? Where to go? "I said," Just train home. " And she says: "You know, I also squat in the morning with her daughter 100 times." For these people want to work. Some assistants are looking for "Ferrari" the latest model to be the boss of Milan somewhere reached. And here they are fools, they learn booked. We somehow all human. The headmistress is often asked: "Do you even wonder?" And I answer: "I'm just an eternal holiday."