Secret sparrows

In the army, the people and their worldview / outlook sometimes strange things happen. Like in appearance - a normal person. A dig - cockroaches running the show.
And here is one such poor guy did not sharpened for military service, forced to carry her after graduation. (It was in the mid-eighties). Specific military humor it is not available, and the person regularly and corny bred on neighing.
So. Odo is duty of regimental humorists. A captain who, judging by Faith, long to be colonel. He was bored, and then he during rounds (although some bypass - hanging around the barracks and adjacent areas) notices clogged under the roof of sparrows. Gives team members to catch animals. Well, the army. Those still manage to catch three birds and bring them to the captain. He fits every sparrow on foot on twig with colorful ribbons. And when it comes time to take the duty (to the very poor thing), passes with instructions to preserve and protect the animals, because it - the secret sparrows. One - to communicate with the military offices, the second - with the staff. But the third - for internal use. All clear?
Understandably, sparrows still flew, and panic duty calls (three in the morning), the regimental commander with the message that the lost secret sparrows. The regimental commander awake hears only "secret" and ordered to build a regiment. To his credit, at the time of construction it all figured out already, he brought two beauties down the line and told the officers and warrant officers, for whatever reason they have built. And when everyone had gone and it seemed that the incident was over, the victim made a drawing control shot in the regimental commander:
 - Comrade Colonel, and I know and the division called.
In general, a week later in the guardhouse sparrows caught.