When planning their lives and their activities, we must proceed from a solid; rely on something that does not let you down. Fundamentally important process of separating solid from empty. Solid and empty together give empty.
why it is so difficult to achieve the desired goal - in fact all areas should be solid. Therefore, the process of exfoliation empty - this process is very important, especially in situations that are critical for the state, the person or organization. In the chain of your life the main links should be solid. Then it will be solid and filled.
Solid - is something that you can rely on, that does not fail. Empty - it is something that you can not rely on.
Solid can be a person. If he said he checked - then he is really checked; if he said he would do - then it really does. If he controls the situation, it means that it can be hard to count. When you are planning some action and you know that this site will be charged to such a person, you know that it is hard, everything will be done.
A machine that starts up in the cold, which is exactly OK, too hard. You will be hard to expect that, coming out at eight o'clock in the house, you have forged it, warmed up, put the child, take him to kindergarten or school and go on - and all you will do. That's hard. And if this car today can be got and gone tomorrow, depending on the weather, humidity and mood of the driver, it means that on such a machine can not be relied upon.
When planning their lives and their activities, we must proceed from a solid, based on something that does not let you down. One of the basic principles on which to build: for his life person answers himself. This is the cornerstone of confidence. In order to be sure the person should start with the most important - it is necessary to accept that you and only you are responsible for your life. Based on this, you can build everything else.
But appears empty and on the other hand - it is impossible to build, but the presence of voids can be used. Pan can be used because it was hollow. Otherwise the soup to cook it would be impossible.
Art to use things - the ability to use a vacuum. Here is one of the Taoist parables: the butcher says he uses his knife nineteen years as it cuts to the voids, he is a master. A good butcher knife changes once a year, usually a butcher that cuts to the bone - every month.
Accordingly, a person can be used, based on the then empty, that is in him. Use - it means to make a person do something that is not in his best interest, in addition to his desire.
I was in Scotland, went to the store. There I liked checkered scarf. Look - like a good scarf. Not really necessary, but a good scarf.
The owner asks:
- From Russia.
- Yes, probably, in Russia you can not afford to buy these scarves.
I immediately bought it.
Try to list the most common emptiness. First place in the world in the frequency of punishment takes arrogance. Who swims badly, he did not sink because not swim; who swims well, too, did not sink because swims well. Thonet who swims bad, but believes that floats well. Similarly, someone who drives a car badly in the accident does not fall. Got into the right lane and goes slowly for trolleybus. Those who are well traveled, also in the accident, as a rule, does not fall, because it is already able to predict the situation, he has a good reaction, he is well-versed in the environment. Anyone who has not traveled very well, and already thinks that goes well, here's one and falls.
The following is the confidence that we are obliged to someone, that someone is behind us something to do. We are confident that we are obliged to parents, children, or the government. Head is obliged to observe what we are wonderful, and offer higher salaries. Here is the confidence that we are not responsible for their lives, and we are obliged to someone, someone has to do it for us - though working against us.
Vanity. A man is almost always possible to catch a compliment. Women have the experience of listening to compliments, and men almost defenseless, except, perhaps, famous artists and politicians. We are talking about ignorance of its true price. Demonstration of their abilities without understanding how to use them.
The problem in the fact that people around us are beginning to think that we are obliged to apply their skills in their favor. Otherwise, we already find ourselves in front of them guilty. And they do not believe that these abilities they need to have to buy. They simply believe that we owe it to them to provide.
If you have a problem - look empty in itself. Work tired as hell, pay a little, but you do nothing, wait. How Come? Because the hope that someone you offer something, someone must notice you, this remarkable.
In order to avoid empty, you have to constantly clean themselves. Cleaning method is known. This is meditation. You just have to watch yourself in different situations as if from the outside, just consider. Consider looking at - and at some point comes to an understanding of why this is happening. You begin to understand what is wrong, what should I do to change this situation.
Fundamentally important process of separating solid from empty. Solid and empty together give empty. Therefore, it is difficult to achieve the desired goal - in fact all areas should be solid. Therefore, the process of exfoliation empty - this process is very important, especially in situations that are critical for the state, person or organization.
For example, the Minister on the table every day hundreds of papers to sign. He was not able to not only view these papers, he did most of the names are not able to read. It relies on when to sign papers? It is based on the resolution and negotiation, rather, it relies on the people who carried out preliminary work. He trusts these people, he realizes that these people should not let him down. The most important thing for a man when he is on the hot seat - with the selection of people to whom you can rely. One way to do this - to organize all hands on deck and see how people behave themselves: who will work for the common cause, and who pulls the blanket over himself.
Where the cost of failure is high, for example, during the elections, the process of planning and analysis of the election campaign is organized in such a way that emotions are emotions, but the result should be. Therefore, the process of separating from a solid blank is usually put on a good level.
In the chain of your life the main links should be solid: health, education, housing, relationships with people. Then it will be solid and filled.
Empty pretends solid
Often empty pretends hard: it seems that you can rely on, but it should be a failure. Consider the most typical situations.
A man who is good in some roles, not necessarily as good in others. An experienced consultant will not necessarily be good in the role of a real worker. Good tea master is not always a good director of tea. A good friend will not necessarily be a good business partner and the more subordinate.
Many small palest hue opportunities do not replace one good. For example, many people are you hinting that they can take on the job. With someone you have a good relationship, someone smiles constantly, before, you were great at the time, this - likes you. When it comes to really move, it turns out that none of these possibilities actually failed. And the illusion of what is sure to be arranged, however, they have created.
Friend asks his friend to arrange to work. It would seem that this recommendation. But when an emergency situation friend can not help you, and generally the recommended person is almost a stranger. You have the illusion in the first place, that he knows him well, and secondly, in which case, it can be addressed. Came buddy plays not on your side, most likely, he promised something or he wants to shift the problem to you.
When driving on a good expensive cars the illusion that all there "Oka" and "Ode" you should pass. Before a traffic police quickly found out that it is not. There's also love to prove that that you have high rank and links does not necessarily lead to impunity.
Head over time begins to believe that he is better workers cope with the problem: it is better to hold talks, answer buyer decompose goods. Employees who every day perform these functions and specially trained this usually do their work more professionally.
Is not always possible to rely on the appreciation policy. You participated in the election campaign politics and think that he'll have to. But it just is not able to thank all the participants. He was confident that gave you a chance to shine in a noble cause and that you should be grateful to him.
People exaggerate his fame. The MP, who worked at one time chairman of the regional government, said that once, when he was still in the previous post, I decided to go down a couple of floors below and go to his subordinate. Secretary asks: "Who are you?" It turns out that it is not required to know the big bosses, it must know its only.
Reliance on previous achievements few people saved. As well as stories about how good we were together. Prove that you will sense right now or in the near future. Come in a conversation with the boss (and husband / wife) from the fact that there is no one to replace you, to put it mildly, carelessly.
It seems that you can always rely on the adopted regulations: job descriptions, regulations on structural units and others. But the right fixes only what exists, it does not create a new balance of power, does not create a new entity. If the norm is not perceived as fair, then it will fail.
Reliance on solid
The most important thing for the success that is the foundation - it is well chosen and the occupied position: what do you want for yourself and what others have to offer. Correct the occupied position allows externally easily without spectacular tricks to get things done. That position accuracy distinguishes a truly strong managers.
It is important that the position has been formulated to meet with opponents. To have clear answers to direct questions such as: how much, when, what in return? To be an understanding of what you do not go ever, and agree to any concessions. Going to negotiate, you can cursory glance to cast its position that all graphs are filled? (For example, leaving home is sentenced, patting his pockets: wallet, keys, phone, sunglasses).
Let's see what can help us in the development of accurate and reliable position.
When we defend our position, we necessarily something to build upon. We build a forecast of events and there is sure, there is a point of support. This support should be solid. Traffic police inspector beautiful, confident gesture stops the machine. He was confident that the driver performs an order. It relies on? The fact that the driver does not follow the instructions, be sure to found and punished. The main thing is that the driver knows about it, too. Their predictions coincide.
You can rely on the law. For example, in the case of an accident the court will proceed from the rules of the road, figuring out the culprit. All considerations that opponent, you have entered into the rear bumper, did dishonestly, braked sharply or not showing the turn signal, into account will not be accepted. Based on the law, we must understand that you must be prepared to go to court, spending time, money and effort. If you're not ready - it does not support.
You can rely on tradition. Despite the fact that in our legislation the rights of parents are, almost always in a divorce court leaves the child's mother. When a woman with her husband in conflict, it can count on the fact that in the case of divorce with her desire to remain with her child. Prescriptive right - the strongest right.
It's amazing how often you can rely on weakness. Small child my mother manages much more successful than the same woman controls her husband. At a meeting on a narrow stretch of road experienced driver always miss clumsy girl. "Sick" mother manages adult children; man, pretending to not knowing how to wash dishes or sew a button, is seeking guardianship of women. People so often manipulated weakness that finding flaws - illness, disability, inability to do something - in many cases perceived as a threat. It is not always necessary to admit weaknesses.
Very often based on guilt. Especially children do brilliantly exploiting the guilt for the lack of mother father as a result of divorce, for the birth trauma. There are no more destructive feelings, the source of many diseases than guilt, almost always unwarranted and unconstructive.
You can create a foothold. Is well known for this method: take a dead person and declared infallible authority. Himself appointed his faithful disciple, the only eligible for treatment doctrine. In our country, such authorities declared Marx, Lenin, Mitchurin. In general, increasing the authority of the predecessor, you raise your own. And vice versa - attacking predecessor, you destroy your credibility. In the family, creating credibility absent father, the mother provides support in raising children, demonstrating an example of obedience. Learn something only by example!