Grandma, Grandma just mega-grandmother Bashny.Net

MODERATOR: There just are no miracles in this Russian province. In the Tula region, in the village of Small Glitches lives of 75-year old programmer. An interview with this wonderful grandmother and we will offer you. Entourage - rustic hut in the corner is a computer.

Voice-over: Claudia P. Platov spent her life in the village and to computer science ever had relations. But once she was visiting grandchildren in the city, and the eldest planted it in front of computer.

An old lady in a headscarf sits at the computer lifts to monitor lacy napkin, baptizes the screen, and then taken in a poke keys rheumatic fingers.

Voice-over: Grandma, and that the TV somehow treated with caution, suddenly all to understand and now can not imagine myself without a computer.

Grandma sits facing the camera. It is evident that her breast hangs a brooch, made from an old 'mouse' - dressed up for the filming.

GRANDMA: Retarded our people, my dear, I say chevo: After the lamer okromya melkosoftovskogo manure, and have heard nothing unheard of. What really tama! I Come to the entire area under one Unix Roble, God forgive me.

Reporter: Convenient computer thing?

GRANDMA: ishsho what! I am now in the barn to seek. Alt-Del pressed - cow milked, Ctrl-Ins - went to the evening milking. Ctrl-F1 - kuryam poured millet, Ctrl-C - the selection is copied to the clipboard: Oh, something zaraportovalasya chevo me, my dear. Again - if susedkam need to tell fortunes on the cards - all to me. I 'kosynku' something Ali solitёrchik Ruskin, stacked pasyanets, and that those Pyatrovna, kongretyuleyshenz! - It is clear as day - your cow will calve, Ali no, will your Kolka Ali sober drunk as a lord!

Reporter: In the village they say you are currently conducted online?

GRANDMOTHER It sure. I spervonachalu something ponastavili modems, one in the barn, one in the stable one, won in the hayloft.

Reporter: Well, what?

GRANDMA: Modem, my dear, it sucks! Yesterday in your opinion, in the city. I have now laid vydelenka everywhere! Optical fiber!

Opto CORRESPONDENT: What? ..

GRANDMA: Fiber. I spervonachalu this fiber socks trying to knit, but then I explained to grandson. And once, I remember, I was dead cooler.

REPORTER: Excuse me?

GRANDMA: Well, cooler dead. Fan burned your way in the city. I am a stone covered with a wet cloth, and parked cleanly.

REPORTER: I'm sorry, I did not understand.

Grandma: Yes, God will judge the lamer. Too long to explain. I think that's Che: it is necessary to put our village shop komputer. And to me it evo across the street, as many as three to go home. I would tada online purchases made. Bread there matches. Inet good thing, my dear. I ottudova pancake recipe currently downloaded two thousand. And with papaya, and Mamaia, and kivyami different - until the end of life is not all pereprobuesh! But scythe hay mow, ordered on an Internet - and no! Reporter: Do you spend time in Internet chat rooms?

GRANDMA: And-and Milan. The two - time! In one my nickname (the nickname means) - A mysterious, and in another - Dandelion. But I not serezke and Humorous. Photo asking - I send Lyubov Orlova, in tights, of 'Circus'. I svidanki appoint - cool! Yes, I girlfriends marry their online Outstanding! (Frame - sitting on a bench outside the village an old woman.) Liubka attach a German. (One old woman disappears from the bench.) Katya for the Australian. (Katka disappears.) Ninka for Ethiopia. (On the bench there Ethiopia in his coat and boots.) And the other day I went to the site of her Pentagon. Well, no, in Brussels there [ censorship i>] - something. A! Nat! That is, I went to the site of Nata and say, well opened, Natasha, Nura Baba, Kaki still your secrets. And made me Nat. I realized that a kind word - it is at least someone nice! ..

In the background appears grandfather.

MAE: Klavka! Where are my boots had gone?

GRANDMA: Yes How should I know! In Yandex poishshy, tama all there. Go sadisya as a hot key! .. MAE. Ugh!

Santa leaves.

GRANDMA: I Dedkov obsolete, all the while the buggy, the tuvalete freezes. The teeth do not chew - plug Katrich necessary. The card does not furychit - need to buy glasses. The frequency would isho him to change, and then every six months a little. Again Ms. did not understand that one can log into two logical split logs, and this is only likely to be! How much time doctors called me, but the doctor, they Cho! Come, I tell them that, well, I do not have viruses. With zhalezom here was the problem, I went to duck our Mitrichev blacksmith, he made me fell swoop upgrade. Upper memory ishsho missing. Chevo a child recorded on the hard drive - remember, and that's what it was morning - the life of me. Stone in the kidneys must be changed.

REPORTER: And you have a toy computer?

GRANDMOTHER: What Ms, dear! Very Me ndravitsya villains sausage theirs to capture the city. Toko here - beat monsters, and it is a pity. But one interesting. In obchem, creators of the game have pleased us, old men: Yes, you, I look, I'm tired, trying to listen. Hosh - wound up music? Ruslanova downloaded here on empetri on the whole gigabytes. So rulezno sings - (sings) 'Boots, boots, do not upgrade, old! Oh, Nick Nicholas, you Change your hard drive! Come to my house, but the processor a wash! Do not go to porno.ru, and the fall will tear you! Boots, boots! .. '

Singing Grandma gently mixed.

Voice-over: Vasily Pupkin, a village Small Glitches, especially for the program 'Interference in the air'