987
Diary of a computer geek
5'th of July. I write on paper. More weaned. Could you imagine that in 13 years will keep a diary of how Robinson Crusoe (on where you are, Tronsmeta!) On a desert island.
I was betrayed. They said that we will go to buy a new mouse from Intel, and actually shoved into a car and sent to his grandfather and grandmother in the village.
I suspect this development. Once papa told me that when my passion for computer time for me to get acquainted with the new doctor. To which I said reasonably, that I have is version 4.17 and the new I do not, except to update the virus library. But papa did not understand me, I do not understand it, and that's paying the price ...
It turned out that the doctor (live) in my cart (had slazit server clinics, they have a simple code with a key 2048 bytes) wrote such a diagnosis: a full month abstinence from the latest information technology. Here I dig now - I think that a month delayed upgrade my car to P3 ...
July 6. When I was on the road to the village was told that the doctor has prescribed monthly abstention from work on my computer, I lost consciousness. Brought to life by bringing to the nose tube of thermal paste for gluing CPU cooler.
When I came to, I asked what the computer is his grandfather and what the bandwidth of its telephone line? Papic muttered something about the fact that for me is enough. "What about school?" - I say with a faint hope that I will return to finish the quarter. "And in the summer - it is responsible. - You see, son, how are you overworked, did not even notice. " I say, "remarked here, I can not finish their OSes." In general, "came» ...
Drop me in the grandfather's yard, Papic immediately gave on gases, and when I raised otchihalsya from dust, then realized that he was in a situation more abruptly than in the «Half-Life» on the last level.
It was immediately attacked by various biorobots. And while a hand instinctively tried to find space in the joystick, I cried my grandfather, "Cover me!»
Then he reassured me that these objects live fully and at this level of reality nonaggressive. Well, I will study in more detail later, when The courage to go into the yard.
July 7. While I am looking at my grandfather's home computer. But he says there is no such. But the same can not be that a person in the XXI century could live without a computer! While nothing is found, although diligently sought, as an artifact of immortality in the Magic & Mayhem.
Grandma has arranged a forum on the whole evening chatting about all of our relatives, who could not remember, I asked what news we have. I told her that he had bought the screw on the 20 acres. She agreed: "20 acres - is quite decent, but difficult to handle».
July 8. So, the Internet in their village there. When I asked my grandfather, which ISP he prefers, he replied that in his youth one more thing that was able to, but now too old for this, and I'm at my grandmother to these words uttered aloud.
"How can you live without a net!" - I say. "That's exactly - my grandfather suddenly agreed. - No grid is difficult to live. Fish because you want to. Only inspection bugged. " Solid misunderstanding, conflict of versions of what it is?
Grandfather tried to describe the benefits of the Internet, but he is constantly confused with boarding and all indignant that my ancestors there is no time to raise a child. That I'm a child ?! Yes, I have two years from the testers of Microsoft!
July 13. He lived for five days without the Internet. I understand what true suffering.
I decided to make the first sortie into the yard. It turned out that he had met me in the yard for the first day of the Zerg Brood War, and turkey. However, there is little difference in appearance. I bypass his side.
July 16. It seems grandfather something dark, he had somewhere to hide your computer yet. I got it after he let slip that he has a mouse in the house. Then I tried to inquire hints details what they are: wireless, dvuhklavishnye, scrolling? And he said that precisely, no wires, and that bright, so yes, you will not catch. He said then show. It would be nice, so it turned out maykrosoftovskih mouse. Captured least a couple into the city.
July 17. Seen grandfathers mice. My great despair. Yes, I'm on a deserted island.
In addition, today the cock pecked me. I gave him a plus. Once again, this will make - Disable FIG.
I was surprised to find that, in contrast to the cartoon, not a word I can not understand from the information exchanged between the cow and poultry. Encoding? Or lie TV?
On 18 July. Seen Dedov domestic bull. Brute. Call the animal "home" is like Microsoft to share: no good deception. Calling it Tseleronom.
Actually I decided if we got into Unreal'ny a world, then at least try to visually adjust it for themselves. Carved with a knife on a wooden bench in the courtyard of the contours of the keyboard, and the grandmother says - doing nonsense. I looked closely - indeed, function keys I cut only ten. How could I ?!
July 19. Today, the grandfather warned: "Father, in your many apples Worms. They beat you to the entire grid. I do not have time to put the anti-virus? Last Kaspersky is very good. " And he said: "At the time you see me, my grandson, got." What did he mean? I think about it later.
Then he brought me to his grandfather in the garden - a look into the distance. Well, I think somewhere I've seen it all ... And remember - it's a typical Bryce 3D! Well, of course, it is not so cool, but some hills and woods rendered a very good faith. And the picture - on the steep GeForce256 with good OpenGL driver and triple buffering. And the ripples in a pond, and the reeds are reflected as when the Reflectance Blur.
"It looks like my grandfather?" - I say. And he looks at me, silent and sighs ... Still and lived all my life without a computer. And then from the computer inferiority grandfather was a failure. When I said that the water in the pond is as transparent as at the iMac enclosure, he suddenly grabbed the nettle ...
This monstrous plant acts as a hostile magic in Might & Magic. In general, now writing diary standing.
21 July. "Why so sad, my grandson?" - Asks his grandfather today. "Yes, even the simplest Palm to me - I answered. - Father, you in fact palm'a not? "-" No, - said. - Is not growing, but I'll Narva bananas in the garden. " That's what he was joking, sadyuga.
July 22. Grandma made to take care of a pig. As she put it vaguely, "I have to improve occupational therapy».
When I saw what level of sterility in the abode of the pig, then flatly refused to go there without special attire.
He described his grandmother that need a special suit, like Duke Nukem, as he goes through the sewer with toxic effluents. She did not understand. He gave a clothespin on his nose. He says nothing else. And then I say, get used to it at all. If you can handle, then I promised to show from the outskirts of our village the next, where exactly is the Internet. We'll have to take a risk.
July 23. Something went wrong with my Tseleronom. Today, he chased me. I think all - will have to start their lives again from the first level! Did the tree. I served on it until my grandfather Moderated beast. But it Kulnev as the last level in the third Quake-I.
Even showed me the bat. Wow, such a good name Mailer called such an ugly creature. I examined it and found their inspiration from the creators of the images of the characters of many toys.
July 25th. Piglet. This animal is fast, as the overclocked Athlon. However, this only happens when it comes to food. And away from him in the paddock is very difficult. He is biting the legs, pushes it below the knees, then swung and rushes into the trough of food, after which the visibility in the barn completely disappears.
Another would be in this situation gave up, but I decided to endure. How to learn from the headstock, where the village to the Internet, run over there and send e'mail friends, let me just settle for a while at least some laptop while I'm not wild.
Coping with a pig helped me assembly. Feeding pig algoritmiziruetsya as simple commands. First, it is necessary to drive into the courtyard. Then, specify all the necessary registers, that is, all his zagonchike clean and the food put. And after making a 21-th interruption. That is, let the beast.
On 27 July. Again suspicions. Something they hide from me. It can not be that companies have not. Here overheard grandfather grandmother said: "The weather is bad, Macintosh'n granddaughter to ripen." I'm wary if grandfather "ripen" before moving to the iMac, then, but now he works with something?
Grandfather took with him on a fishing trip. Poke a finger in the mouth pike, to see how far he goes, can only complete brake maker ...
July 28th. Today Tselerona dispersed. It led me to the thought of his name. If there is such a processor, how can it not disperse!
Thus, a set of overclocking: the bull (my foe), a red T-shirt (with the inscription KOMTEK 2000), the cooler (10 liters capacity.), Fence (speed limiter).
Acceleration Tselerona carried out when the grandparents were in the garden. The process took eight seconds: the system load, when the bull is released from the enclosure, plus the actual dispersal, when a red T-shirt. Cooling is then applied when it is necessary to turn off the fence bull bucket of water.
Good work! Only he did not immediately braked. So that the fence will have to be rebuilt. So, while grandmother village Internet refuses to show me.
Who knew that it happened?
July 29th. Asked grandmother chop wood. Me?!!! It's all her occupational therapy.
He showed what and how. Of course, I have seen such a tool in "Rage". But there they were used more to combat the enemy. And there are small wooden cylinders.
Dies in young age, did not finish their OSes, I did not want, so took a number of precautions.
As a result, I cut the two cylinders, one dog bruised, broke two windows (because her wind, and it is necessary) and decorated the yard a dozen deep craters.
"You will be responsible for our wood," - said the grandmother. "Well, then, so let me be the Drove King" - I struck it with irony. She did not understand.
July 31st. More news about carefully hide from me the computer village life. Yesterday, our neighbor, a simple tractor, told his grandmother that tomorrow garden plow it will not be to change the axle shaft. "Flew I have it," - he said. Yeah, I think that what he is such OSes ruined? That is, tasks are quite serious.
On the other hand, maybe he's just a little program the OS / 2 - that has driven the car? So I asked him. "Exactly - answers. - Hunted. Per trailer in such ravines that feared the machine completely fall apart. " How to recover, will look. From my aid I refused.
32 of July. More weaned himself a date format.
August 1. My grandmother, of course, not Lara Croft, but throws a bag of pears on quite respectable distance. So her and said.
August 3rd. Seen live horse. To my shame, I found them that I did not know anything. No, I know that there are Trojan horses, once I have one such frolic in the computer, but nothing more.
The grandfather asked me to help harness. For me, all of these devices and the sequence of their use - a complete mystery. So I do not understand anything. But I will understand the principle because, in theory, it should not be difficult Html.
4th August. Home! Suddenly I caught myself thinking that I was so used to his quest, even did not want to leave.
And goodbye to my grandfather I was shocked! When papa came, and I was sitting in the car, he said goodbye, he said to me in the window: "Well, my grandson, as we and grandmother file size you corrected? Okay? »
Location? How? That meal, write and think ...
I was betrayed. They said that we will go to buy a new mouse from Intel, and actually shoved into a car and sent to his grandfather and grandmother in the village.
I suspect this development. Once papa told me that when my passion for computer time for me to get acquainted with the new doctor. To which I said reasonably, that I have is version 4.17 and the new I do not, except to update the virus library. But papa did not understand me, I do not understand it, and that's paying the price ...
It turned out that the doctor (live) in my cart (had slazit server clinics, they have a simple code with a key 2048 bytes) wrote such a diagnosis: a full month abstinence from the latest information technology. Here I dig now - I think that a month delayed upgrade my car to P3 ...
July 6. When I was on the road to the village was told that the doctor has prescribed monthly abstention from work on my computer, I lost consciousness. Brought to life by bringing to the nose tube of thermal paste for gluing CPU cooler.
When I came to, I asked what the computer is his grandfather and what the bandwidth of its telephone line? Papic muttered something about the fact that for me is enough. "What about school?" - I say with a faint hope that I will return to finish the quarter. "And in the summer - it is responsible. - You see, son, how are you overworked, did not even notice. " I say, "remarked here, I can not finish their OSes." In general, "came» ...
Drop me in the grandfather's yard, Papic immediately gave on gases, and when I raised otchihalsya from dust, then realized that he was in a situation more abruptly than in the «Half-Life» on the last level.
It was immediately attacked by various biorobots. And while a hand instinctively tried to find space in the joystick, I cried my grandfather, "Cover me!»
Then he reassured me that these objects live fully and at this level of reality nonaggressive. Well, I will study in more detail later, when The courage to go into the yard.
July 7. While I am looking at my grandfather's home computer. But he says there is no such. But the same can not be that a person in the XXI century could live without a computer! While nothing is found, although diligently sought, as an artifact of immortality in the Magic & Mayhem.
Grandma has arranged a forum on the whole evening chatting about all of our relatives, who could not remember, I asked what news we have. I told her that he had bought the screw on the 20 acres. She agreed: "20 acres - is quite decent, but difficult to handle».
July 8. So, the Internet in their village there. When I asked my grandfather, which ISP he prefers, he replied that in his youth one more thing that was able to, but now too old for this, and I'm at my grandmother to these words uttered aloud.
"How can you live without a net!" - I say. "That's exactly - my grandfather suddenly agreed. - No grid is difficult to live. Fish because you want to. Only inspection bugged. " Solid misunderstanding, conflict of versions of what it is?
Grandfather tried to describe the benefits of the Internet, but he is constantly confused with boarding and all indignant that my ancestors there is no time to raise a child. That I'm a child ?! Yes, I have two years from the testers of Microsoft!
July 13. He lived for five days without the Internet. I understand what true suffering.
I decided to make the first sortie into the yard. It turned out that he had met me in the yard for the first day of the Zerg Brood War, and turkey. However, there is little difference in appearance. I bypass his side.
July 16. It seems grandfather something dark, he had somewhere to hide your computer yet. I got it after he let slip that he has a mouse in the house. Then I tried to inquire hints details what they are: wireless, dvuhklavishnye, scrolling? And he said that precisely, no wires, and that bright, so yes, you will not catch. He said then show. It would be nice, so it turned out maykrosoftovskih mouse. Captured least a couple into the city.
July 17. Seen grandfathers mice. My great despair. Yes, I'm on a deserted island.
In addition, today the cock pecked me. I gave him a plus. Once again, this will make - Disable FIG.
I was surprised to find that, in contrast to the cartoon, not a word I can not understand from the information exchanged between the cow and poultry. Encoding? Or lie TV?
On 18 July. Seen Dedov domestic bull. Brute. Call the animal "home" is like Microsoft to share: no good deception. Calling it Tseleronom.
Actually I decided if we got into Unreal'ny a world, then at least try to visually adjust it for themselves. Carved with a knife on a wooden bench in the courtyard of the contours of the keyboard, and the grandmother says - doing nonsense. I looked closely - indeed, function keys I cut only ten. How could I ?!
July 19. Today, the grandfather warned: "Father, in your many apples Worms. They beat you to the entire grid. I do not have time to put the anti-virus? Last Kaspersky is very good. " And he said: "At the time you see me, my grandson, got." What did he mean? I think about it later.
Then he brought me to his grandfather in the garden - a look into the distance. Well, I think somewhere I've seen it all ... And remember - it's a typical Bryce 3D! Well, of course, it is not so cool, but some hills and woods rendered a very good faith. And the picture - on the steep GeForce256 with good OpenGL driver and triple buffering. And the ripples in a pond, and the reeds are reflected as when the Reflectance Blur.
"It looks like my grandfather?" - I say. And he looks at me, silent and sighs ... Still and lived all my life without a computer. And then from the computer inferiority grandfather was a failure. When I said that the water in the pond is as transparent as at the iMac enclosure, he suddenly grabbed the nettle ...
This monstrous plant acts as a hostile magic in Might & Magic. In general, now writing diary standing.
21 July. "Why so sad, my grandson?" - Asks his grandfather today. "Yes, even the simplest Palm to me - I answered. - Father, you in fact palm'a not? "-" No, - said. - Is not growing, but I'll Narva bananas in the garden. " That's what he was joking, sadyuga.
July 22. Grandma made to take care of a pig. As she put it vaguely, "I have to improve occupational therapy».
When I saw what level of sterility in the abode of the pig, then flatly refused to go there without special attire.
He described his grandmother that need a special suit, like Duke Nukem, as he goes through the sewer with toxic effluents. She did not understand. He gave a clothespin on his nose. He says nothing else. And then I say, get used to it at all. If you can handle, then I promised to show from the outskirts of our village the next, where exactly is the Internet. We'll have to take a risk.
July 23. Something went wrong with my Tseleronom. Today, he chased me. I think all - will have to start their lives again from the first level! Did the tree. I served on it until my grandfather Moderated beast. But it Kulnev as the last level in the third Quake-I.
Even showed me the bat. Wow, such a good name Mailer called such an ugly creature. I examined it and found their inspiration from the creators of the images of the characters of many toys.
July 25th. Piglet. This animal is fast, as the overclocked Athlon. However, this only happens when it comes to food. And away from him in the paddock is very difficult. He is biting the legs, pushes it below the knees, then swung and rushes into the trough of food, after which the visibility in the barn completely disappears.
Another would be in this situation gave up, but I decided to endure. How to learn from the headstock, where the village to the Internet, run over there and send e'mail friends, let me just settle for a while at least some laptop while I'm not wild.
Coping with a pig helped me assembly. Feeding pig algoritmiziruetsya as simple commands. First, it is necessary to drive into the courtyard. Then, specify all the necessary registers, that is, all his zagonchike clean and the food put. And after making a 21-th interruption. That is, let the beast.
On 27 July. Again suspicions. Something they hide from me. It can not be that companies have not. Here overheard grandfather grandmother said: "The weather is bad, Macintosh'n granddaughter to ripen." I'm wary if grandfather "ripen" before moving to the iMac, then, but now he works with something?
Grandfather took with him on a fishing trip. Poke a finger in the mouth pike, to see how far he goes, can only complete brake maker ...
July 28th. Today Tselerona dispersed. It led me to the thought of his name. If there is such a processor, how can it not disperse!
Thus, a set of overclocking: the bull (my foe), a red T-shirt (with the inscription KOMTEK 2000), the cooler (10 liters capacity.), Fence (speed limiter).
Acceleration Tselerona carried out when the grandparents were in the garden. The process took eight seconds: the system load, when the bull is released from the enclosure, plus the actual dispersal, when a red T-shirt. Cooling is then applied when it is necessary to turn off the fence bull bucket of water.
Good work! Only he did not immediately braked. So that the fence will have to be rebuilt. So, while grandmother village Internet refuses to show me.
Who knew that it happened?
July 29th. Asked grandmother chop wood. Me?!!! It's all her occupational therapy.
He showed what and how. Of course, I have seen such a tool in "Rage". But there they were used more to combat the enemy. And there are small wooden cylinders.
Dies in young age, did not finish their OSes, I did not want, so took a number of precautions.
As a result, I cut the two cylinders, one dog bruised, broke two windows (because her wind, and it is necessary) and decorated the yard a dozen deep craters.
"You will be responsible for our wood," - said the grandmother. "Well, then, so let me be the Drove King" - I struck it with irony. She did not understand.
July 31st. More news about carefully hide from me the computer village life. Yesterday, our neighbor, a simple tractor, told his grandmother that tomorrow garden plow it will not be to change the axle shaft. "Flew I have it," - he said. Yeah, I think that what he is such OSes ruined? That is, tasks are quite serious.
On the other hand, maybe he's just a little program the OS / 2 - that has driven the car? So I asked him. "Exactly - answers. - Hunted. Per trailer in such ravines that feared the machine completely fall apart. " How to recover, will look. From my aid I refused.
32 of July. More weaned himself a date format.
August 1. My grandmother, of course, not Lara Croft, but throws a bag of pears on quite respectable distance. So her and said.
August 3rd. Seen live horse. To my shame, I found them that I did not know anything. No, I know that there are Trojan horses, once I have one such frolic in the computer, but nothing more.
The grandfather asked me to help harness. For me, all of these devices and the sequence of their use - a complete mystery. So I do not understand anything. But I will understand the principle because, in theory, it should not be difficult Html.
4th August. Home! Suddenly I caught myself thinking that I was so used to his quest, even did not want to leave.
And goodbye to my grandfather I was shocked! When papa came, and I was sitting in the car, he said goodbye, he said to me in the window: "Well, my grandson, as we and grandmother file size you corrected? Okay? »
Location? How? That meal, write and think ...
