Two mega-aneka

A man went on a business trip. Says the wife:
 - I understand that you have a need, so I made you a robot. The way you like a man just call me "Boris!" And he will do.
 - Good.
 Her husband left. In the evening, my wife wanted and she called "Boris!".
 Robot involved and then come and fuck his wife. After a while, his wife realized that she does not know how to turn it off and began to scream loudly.
 Came neighbor.
 - And who do you have?
 - This is Boris.
 - Boris?
 Robot immediately switched to a neighbor.
...
 Her husband two days later remembered that he forgot to tell his wife how to turn off.
Houses on the plane and go home.
 At the airport, catch a taxi and said:
 - On Ivanovka urgently !!!
 - In Ivanovka not go!
 - Why?!?
 - There Boris !!!

19th century. The train Moscow - St. Petersburg. 13 car. 2 coupe. 3 On a shelf dryhnet orderly. On 1 General, covered in medals, 2-pop, on the contrary - the priest's wife and daughter. The thunder, crack.
Sverzaetsya down Batman:
 - Mr. General, let me piss?
 - Go.
 Groaning down pop:
 - Well it is not a shame! Here you are fighting general, the chest is decorated with medals, the blood shed for the homeland, and he with you - piss. I, Father, for your work, I pray sinners, bald doctrine had made, and he was in front of me - piss. My wife, honest woman, a woman came for me, did not change even once, gave birth to a daughter, and he with her piss. My daughter, dove immaculate, sin not know, and he with her - piss!
 - Well, calm father, suggestion do.
 The thunder, crack. Bursts Batman - Mr. General, allow me to report - piss.
 General with strict views:
 - Oh, you fucked your mother, pizdoglazoe mudoёbische! I tell you who, fighting general or dick dog? The blood shed for the motherland, chest raskhuyachena medals, and you in my piss. It is you that horse prick the sun shines, or the holy father's bald head for our works whorish rasshibshego forehead? And you with him that - piss. It is you who, damn podzabornaya wife or father saint pussy neighbor did not give birth to a daughter knows, and you with her -possat. It you think who slut juvenile father or daughter of the saint, sin Do not know dick in his mouth did not hold, and you're at it - piss! March to the 3rd Regiment and piss to the Petersburg.

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