Armored cruiser "Bayan" in Toulon, 1902
The history of this is undoubtedly an outstanding aphorism began June 24, 1898, when the director of the Toulon shipyards Marseille Lagan, being on a business trip in Paris, decided to walk through the familiar courtesans. Imagine his surprise when, in a brothel mistress Sophie he found none other as the exemplary family man, Chief of
Shipbuilding of the Russian Empire Varlampiya Verkhovsky.
- Ku-ku! - Lagan said gleefully.
- Sir, this is not something that you think is right - threw up his hands Verkhovsky.
- Well, you, I'm sure you do here is just that, what came - buy a new cruiser. How do you cruiser, Sophie? - Continued to scoff director.
- We need to talk - with extinct eyes muttered Verkhovsky.
- Voila! - Lagan jumped and became quite a whistle the "Marseillaise».
... Early in the morning on June 25, huffing fumes unbearable, Verkhovsky signed with Toulon shipyards for the construction of a new cruiser for the project "Dupuy de Scrap" for 17 million francs ...
On the morning of December 21, 1898 Emperor Nicholas II, nervously picking his ear lorgnette. On the nose it was Christmas, and the court ensemble is still unable to cope with New Year's remix of "God Save the Tsar!". Something is clearly not enough ...
- Why are you so loud twang Sinister? - He chastised big-nosed violinist - the whole Russian spirit drowns, you know ...
- Your Majesty, chief of shipbuilding Verkhovsky asks the audience! - Butler's voice boomed.
Verkhovsky, nervously shifting from foot to foot in the reception area. Today, it is used in that all costs had to push documents unaccounted cruiser emperor. He tried several times to turn around and leave, but always pop up in my head the image of Lagan with his mocking French "Ku-Ku!". No,
it is better scaffold than the revenge of his wife! Verkhovsky Thoughts were interrupted by the butler, and threw himself at his feet, he was brought before the bored emperor.
- Healthy, Varlampy. You heard what the heresy now bears my orchestra?
- Not at all, Your Majesty. - Forced Verkhovsky.
- That having heard the - the emperor nodded to musicians - Yeah, what have you got there?
- Yes, the paper would cruiser new podmahnut ...
- What the cruiser as it calls the?
- How would you like your Majesty - Verkhovsky was on the verge of a heart attack.
- Accordion! - Slapped his forehead Emperor.
- Uh ... So we write?
- And you did not hear?
- Let's bow?
- Go ahead. Accordionist Mikolka here! - Joyfully jumped Nikolai - right now we drown out this violin!
June 26, 1899, the year in Toulon laying of armored cruiser of the 1st rank "Bayan". A year later the Grand Duchess Anastasia Mikhailovna after drunken revelry of the French cruiser "Dupuy de Scrap 'arrived at the descent of the new Korablin. Toulon brewers in the day collectively strike against raising the tax on frogs and the head of the Grand Duchess split in earnest.
- Anatoly Romanovich, I have a feeling that I somewhere already seen - asked the princess to Captain 1st Rank Rodionov, looking at the familiar silhouette of the cruiser.
- This is the "Bayan" Madame - proudly coined salt.
- Lucy, you've heard, is now in Russia called "deja vu"? - He nudged his freylenu Princess.
Officers were present appreciated the joke, and a month later she was in the language of the latter fireman ...
As the years passed, in 1903, "Bayan" was sent to Port Arthur, where a year later, November 26, was sunk by artillery siege of future producers Pokemon and Tamagotchi. In 1906 it was raised by the Japanese and put under the name of "Aso", which means "already».
Meanwhile, in Russia there was a question about the construction of new ships to replace the lost in the Russian-Japanese war. Prime Minister Sergei Witte as a busy man, his instructions expressed in short form:
- It is necessary to build a cruiser!
- But what project? - Begged the Minister of Marine.
- What is, in this build! - Sergey snapped Yul'evich.
In the spring of 1908 the Emperor Nicholas II bypass operation freshly built warships. Suddenly, the emperor stopped so abruptly that it ran head of the Navy succeeded Nicholas Ottovich Essen. Drozhayshy hand holy emphasized the shining freshly painted ship:
- What's that !?
- A new cruiser, Your Majesty.
- Dear, there is a Bajan! - Poluisterichno Emperor shrieked.
- He's - remained calm Nikolai Ottovich.
- But he's drowned!
- This is a new ...
- In the same project ?!
- Yes, on the same ...
- But ... - groaned the emperor - but it w Bayan!
- I agree, Bayan - hissed Essen, dirty cursing to himself in German - clean?
- The hell with it, let it be ...
The next day aphorism scattered around Petersburg, and after three days reached Moscow and flew further Since then, the crew set a new cruiser has become an insurmountable problem. During a visit to Spain was an attempt to replenish the crew from local merchant seamen, but it was unsuccessful - the whole of Barcelona here and there could be heard:
"Kamrad, Bayan Esto!»
Since coming to power of the Bolsheviks all the echoes of the Tsarist regime fell under the imperial ban and aphorism was forgotten until the end of the century ...