17 STORIES tortured parents.

1. I put it in the oven chicken breast, turned off the oven and 3 days did not use it, but then I remembered that my breasts are there ...
2. I tried yesterday to sing a song about green grasshopper kid, I could not think of a beginning nor an end, and kept repeating about a frog, which did not expect such end here. My husband says that I wake up at night and resented what happened to the first line of the song.
3. In the middle of the night my husband wakes up - persistently pushes. Mutter: "What are you doing?" He: "Where is the item from the welding machine?" I even awake understand that in our bed this stuff should not be, say - "Tomorrow you will find" thumps and go back to sleep, sleep through the feeling that her husband continues to delve into the blankets. In the morning, I ask - what are you doing at night looking for a welder? - "I? (Genuinely surprised) What are you? I slept like a log! ».
 
4. In the morning, went for a walk with the dog, came out of the door, looked around, a dog, no, I forgot it at home.
5. Well, yesterday I was laughing machine washed in diapers, I this morning, hanging clothes, found that washed nipple.
6. Yesterday morning my husband said to me that night, I began to put him on his hand, he began to fight back, that he was not comfortable, and I stroked his head and whispered: "CHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCH, quietly, go to sleep, my sweetheart," he had to put up! And I do not even remember.
7. arises in the night, suitable for a cot (son sleeps), leans, I ask: What are you, a husband replies: Lie down, I will refresh it myself.
8. At the girlfriend husband woke her in the middle of the night (he was moonlighting as a waiter in a restaurant) and asks, "What salads running today?»
At other times, he's already asleep, and she still is not, she went himself took an apple before going to bed, lay down, he pulls her apple eats quickly and stub it throws and falls asleep. In the morning, did not remember anything.
9. In the evening, sitting behind a computer, CD-ROM has left on a stool near the crib. Max woke up at night, come to cry, I want to eat type. I prosoni take CDyuh I present to the screaming child and shout: "As it is inserted?" Wake her husband and say, like I can not insert a disc. And he said: "Why?". Well here I realize that instead of nipples in my hand something quite different. How can I then was ashamed! This is how the case.
10. I was standing in the store with a cart and choose tea. Suddenly I notice that kata cart back and forth like a stroller with a baby
11. hmm ... periodically call her husband by dialing digits on a calculator, which is always at hand ...
12. And I periodically take with me the TV remote - as something to stop trying to call
13. In the first months slept for four hours, the child most of the time on his hands, rocked this way and that. A month and a half (synulikinyh) catch myself on the fact that I was sitting on a chair (the child sleeps in a crib), eat and swaying from side to side. Ah! Bye-bye, in general. Complete, and.
14. The night I had a dream that I had a child, the other, not Maxim. I lay on the bed, I bring a child, I lifted up on one elbow and start looking at it. I look and wonder, what is a big baby I gave birth! He has such long eyelashes ... He has such long hair! And it had a mouth is white ??? I'm starting to think it, gums or tooth ??? Reaching a hand to the face of the child and understand that I can not sleep and is seen sleeping near her husband !!! That's what I went to cover
15. The first months of constantly confused with microwave refrigerator. Tried several times to leave the phone in the fridge and tried to call the console.
16. I do not say that very tired but can not sleep the night ... Then confuse the days of the week and time of day. Recently asleep, when there was out of the bathroom to the closet - the husband in the morning was very surprised ...
17. Last week I sleep for two hours at night all the rest of the time she yells. So: we ate with her son in the morning porridge, Alice screamed, I took her in my arms, I carry the dirty dishes - has carried on the changing table laid, returned to the kitchen stand, shove Alice in the sink, and it does not fit, I shove, shove and suddenly realize that I had messed up with dirty dishes.