How to live if you are not what you want to be

Each of us at least once asked the question: “Why did my life turn out this way?” We dreamed of more, different, better. But reality can be disappointing. If you feel like you missed your chances or took the wrong place you planned, that's not the end of the story. This is just the beginning of a new journey.



Why are we so attached to the idea of “perfect self”?
Dreams of the future are often formed in adolescence, when life seems limitless and possibilities are endless. We build images of a successful self, inspired by the characters of movies, books or the people around us. But life rarely goes according to the planned scenario.

The idea of the ideal self gives us:

• Motivation to move forward;
• Clear guidelines;
• A sense of importance.

However, when reality does not match expectations, we begin to doubt ourselves and our decisions.

How do you accept that your life is different?

Acceptance is the first step towards inner peace. It doesn’t mean you give up or stop dreaming. It helps to free yourself from painful expectations and open yourself to new opportunities.

1. Recognize the uniqueness of your path

You’re not a parallel version of yourself that did it right. You are a person with a unique history, experiences and experiences. All mistakes, successes and accidents have shaped you for who you are.

2. Stop comparing yourself to others

Comparison is a trap. We only see the outside of others’ lives, unaware of the struggles and difficulties that lie behind success. Focus on your path and your achievements.

3. Understand that purpose can change.

What seemed important in your 20s may lose importance in your 30s or 40s. We are changing, and so are our goals. It's normal.

How do you find a new destination?

When you realize that your original plans are no longer relevant, it is not a cause for disappointment. This is an opportunity to discover something new.

1. Investigate your interests.

Ask yourself questions:

• What do I really like to do?
• What am I good at?
• What activities bring me joy?

The answers to these questions may suggest a new direction.

2. Try something new.

Sometimes, to find your business, you need to go beyond the usual. Try something you’ve long dreamed of but were afraid to start. It can be a new sport, creative activity or even a radical change of profession.

3. Develop and learn.

New knowledge and skills open the door to new opportunities. Investing in your education or professional development is never in vain.

4. Listen to me.

Your intuition is the best compass. If you feel a direction is yours, don’t ignore that signal.

Why is it important to love your life as it is?

As long as you focus on what could have been, you are missing out on what is. Love for your life is not about giving up dreams, but about the ability to appreciate every moment.

• Thank you. Remind yourself of what is already in your life: health, loved ones, opportunities.
• Simplicity: Sometimes happiness lies in the little things: a cup of coffee in the morning, a walk in the fresh air, a book that inspires.
• Mindfulness: Live in the present. This is the only time you really have.

Conclusion

Just because you feel like you didn’t become what you wanted, doesn’t mean you failed. It means that life offers you a new scenario that can be equally exciting and meaningful.

“Your purpose is not one goal. It is a process of search, learning and growth.”
Start by accepting yourself as you are and keep moving forward. Your life should not be a copy of someone else’s. It should be yours.