I love and respect my husband, but I feel that all the joy has gone from the relationship.

When two loving hearts decide to unite into something bigger, it's beautiful. In fact, most songs, poems, books, and movies talk about that, love. About the moment when everything is in its place, the air is filled with emotions and any weather seems perfect to you. Only here. family preservation and strengthening - that's another matter. It is a constant work on yourself and your relationship. Stopping for just one moment is easy to lose. No one wants to start all over again.



It is for this reason that some people are willing to endure a lot, as long as they do not divorce, just to leave everything as it is. Even in cases where, it would seem, there is no hope for the resumption of a romantic relationship. From the outside, it can be difficult to understand, but deep down, such people have the illusion that everything will soon change for the better. It's about to come to its senses. And the longer this story goes on, the more painful it will be for everyone afterwards. But its end, unfortunately, simply cannot be avoided. Alas, that's the reality of life.

I love and respect my husband very much. I've known him for 10 years and I haven't doubted him for a moment. However, in our marriage recently, everything is not thank God. Sadly all this and sometimes, sometimes, you just want to burrow into a pillow and cry. Maybe I would have done that before, but only now I understand that this will not change anything and succumb to emotions in any critical situation is the last thing.



Arthur works as a doctor at our local hospital. I am a housewife and mostly stay at home. I know it’s not good at 32 years old, but I can’t help it. I tried many times to find a business on the gut, but nothing worthwhile somehow came across. There's a college degree, but philosophers are finding it hard these days. Believe me, I won't lie.

So I was a waitress, a saleswoman, a factory worker. Even tried to finish some courses and go to the firm as an office plankton. Nothing. The reasons are different, but they all boil down to the fact that I just can’t do one thing every day for 8 hours in a row. Monotonous labor kills me. The temperature rises, I become nervous, hungry, angry. Speaking of which.

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As a wife for 3 years, I have recovered. Before the wedding, Arthur and I dated for a long time and this fact somehow kept me on track. I took a lot of walks, took care of myself. I ate more or less well and felt different. But then, when my dream came true, it was as if the body had decided it had reached its finish line. Every extra calorie is now securely fixed on my sides and stomach. There's nothing to do. Just lie down and watch the crap on the tablet. Movies, TV shows, talk shows.

I can't do this anymore, I hate myself. I want to get up, stretch. At least do cleaning, cooking some useful salads or something like that. There's money and time. There's no desire. In addition, there is no support from the husband. He works hard, comes home from work only to have dinner and go to bed. Salary brings like the perfect spouse, which he undoubtedly is. But...



From time to time I have not too positive thoughts in my head. Let’s take at least that we are now married, husband and wife – no matter how it turns out, one whole. They need to help each other, support and inspire. These are not just words, but actions are also needed. Arthur used to be able to criticize me on something. It's ironic to poke, even angry! I felt like he was alive, that he was there. And I really liked it.

Then, when I tried to find myself in this world, he supported me. Giving advice, teaching. I admit, I wasn’t always grateful for that. Because it can be annoying when a man, as it were, from the height of his success, teaches me "a stupid woman." But it was a lively conversation that I now miss. Even his particularly harsh hamstrings about my weight now come back to me with a kind of nostalgia. Since then, I have gained a dozen pounds. And... It's okay now.



Arthur doesn't criticize me for anything anymore. He does not give advice or require me to take care of my “female duties.” We agreed that he would not treat me like that. Because I want respect for myself as a person, a woman and a wife. I’m writing this and remembering all of our quarrels. Like it was a long time ago, like a fog.

Not anymore. Just some superficial conversations, discussions of the near future and that's it. I even started demanding that my husband double my personal expenses. I thought it would affect him somehow. No, now I can afford to buy more goodies and bigger clothes. Yay. This money is poured into my card. Arthur doesn't even want to hand them over to me, says it's unhygienic.



The only friend I talk to a couple of times a month says I need to have a baby. But I'm not sure. My husband and I live a sex life, but its quality leaves much to be desired. And if the child also does not affect anything and then it turns out that he will not have a dad, but only an eternally tired and distracted ATM. Then what? I don’t want to get divorced, and I can’t imagine myself with anyone else. My only goal is to preserve and strengthen the family. Can you tell me how to get my husband to yell at me or be active? Tired of feeling fat, tired of life cat.