For a long time I pulled on my family while my husband was looking for a suitable job, but I was tired of it.

How does it work? workload Family relationships? Yes, of course, in the most positive way. There is more money, more opportunities. You can spend more, what might not be clear? Or maybe... Sometimes things aren't so straightforward? The breadwinner, accustomed to his status, accustomed to the fact that everything rests on him, at some point may feel discomfort. For an adult, it’s a negative experience.



The world is now witnessing an active wage equation between men and women. Sociologists say that this trend negatively affects the relationship between people. Men find it harder to find a mate, and women are tired of “failed boys.” So money does matter after all. While this trend has not yet gained momentum, it is becoming a real problem in the West. It's hard to find a partner if you're both careerists.

Moving to the capital from a small town was already a victory for me. For my husband, too, but he tried hard to reach new heights. Due to the fact that we were both friends with the head, we were lucky to get a good job and life seemed to me a fairy tale. I worked as an accountant, and my husband grew up to be a department head. Love? She was just circling around us. Hope? We were filled with it. But it all collapsed at once when the conflict began.

It is no secret that with the onset of a full-scale invasion, many firms began to close. It happened in my case with Renat. It was hard to realize that your professional fitness is no longer needed, and the old rhythm of life is now an unattainable dream. I had to move from my favorite “two” in the city center and settle in a one-room Khrushchev. But that is the reality and there is nothing you can do about it.



The first time we were in a real shock. One week after another, we just ate our savings. But we had to move on, so my husband and I agreed, no matter what, to find some work. At least for the first time, to join the stream again. We'll see. Maybe we'll be lucky to get caught. So I started reading ads from my laptop, and my husband was looking for something on the computer. This is how we got romantic.

After some time, having crossed out completely unsuitable options, I decided to go to the cashier in the bank. Working with people, and I hate it. But what to do, you have to pay for the apartment. Sometimes you can also go to the store. In general, being a cashier is not so scary if you have patience and a certain mindset. But these daily stupid questions, the answers to them, the routine. You feel like a robot in a corporate suit. Only robots cannot smile so often.

Renat continued to seek his calling. He let go of his beard and stopped taking care of himself. To be honest, losing his status was a bigger blow for him than it was for me. But what can I do? We have to deal with melancholy, it’s hard for everyone. However, it was not easy for my husband. He could eat nothing all day, just sit at the monitor, almost blinking.
Of course, it was painful to watch.



And after a while, the boss noticed a perspective in me, picked up my papers and decided to promote me while other girls left the city and the country, trying to find their happiness somewhere else. There was no competition and six months later I was promoted again. Salary is much higher, although not as high as in the previous job. But I already felt much more confident, even though my mood dropped when I got home.

I love my husband, but his example, like the wind, blew out of me all the passion for work and life. He agreed to stay on the farm while he was out of work. But he's a man and it came out of him, frankly, bad. He cooked “in the style of a bachelor”, when you just mix everything in the fridge in one pan and wait for it to turn out. I didn’t ask him to iron his clothes, but he even managed to hang them out incorrectly after washing them. I'm not talking about the dust. In short, it's not his story at all.



More excuses. I tried to persuade him to do something, but he complained that he was either not satisfied with the salary or the working conditions. Well, wouldn't he go to work as a loader at 32, if he had just rubbed through a leather office chair and pressed keys? I even thought about going against my principles. You know what nepotism is? Now, I could try to get him in my bank, and then I'm sure he'd do a good job, too. I never thought he was stupid.

But he's got a horn. Said he didn't fit in, he wasn't used to it. Anyway, it's monotonous, and he has a different approach. So what do we do, what are the options? To let everything take its course - so he would definitely start drinking, or grew to the couch, or maybe both. Scandal? We've been through this before. We know and love each other too well. Once again, we moved out of our hometown, so we had a hard time. A quarrel would have gotten us nowhere. I didn't want to get divorced. I'm 31, who am I looking for? When?

Then I decided to tell my mom. His mother, his mother-in-law. She's not a bad woman, it's just that we haven't really talked much lately. On the phone, it was clear that her husband and I were very worried. We agreed that she would come in person and I would pay for it. We haven't had any guests in a while. You know, the wrong time. My mother-in-law arrived the next day and was determined.



Seeing her in the first minutes, I began to regret my decision. I thought she was gonna attack me for hurting her only son. Morally already preparing phrases for protection, when suddenly the mother-in-law began to shout at Renat, so that the neighbors definitely heard us. I'm afraid next door, I'm sure. It was mom screaming at her son. Only if you multiply it a hundred times. I've never seen a woman like that before. I thought maybe it was a tantrum or something.

But most of all, her cry affected her husband. My 32-year-old man suddenly turned into a frightened boy and began to make excuses. Quieter than the water, lower than the grass. He immediately promised that he would do everything he could. It was just such a period and now, he even found a few options, just did not want to talk ahead of time, so as not to jinx. I was confused, like in a theater production. I just found out about her existence a minute ago.



Then, escorting my mother-in-law to the station, we talked to her like a mother and daughter. She insisted that “men” should not be allowed to descend, that you need to be able to show character. She should have been called a long time ago. And I agreed with everything, nodding, unless I wrote it down in a notebook. Since then, the ice has moved and the husband, little by little, went to work. The salary is not good yet, but the project seems promising. I hope we don’t have a situation like this again and I don’t have to turn into a Valkyrie myself. I love my husband and we'll get over it, I know. But I also know that problems cannot be ignored. They have to be dealt with, sometimes harshly. But only if you want to be with someone until the end. Otherwise, nothing will work.