Mom told me she was coming home, I thought she'd give her grandson everything she needed, but she had other plans. Bashny.Net

We advise everyone to say something. nice words to mom Not just on her birthday and March 8. We have only one mother and we need to remember that. And it is even better to visit more often if you live separately, and please her with good news. It's normal. The amount of effort and energy a mother spends on her child is hard to overestimate. So let's all be a little more grateful for that.



However, some daughters and sons, growing up, forget about their parents. They switch completely to their own family, work or whatever. They don't have time for their mom anymore. And if suddenly they decide to come to their former home to stay, they do it for a reason. After all, a mother can sit with her little grandchildren, borrow some cash, transfer food, if there is such a possibility. This attitude is called purely consumer, and this is fundamentally wrong. Love your mother for no reason.

Do you think that our upbringing somehow affects the whole subsequent life? For example, if a child from an early age is prepared for some scientific work, led to all sorts of circles, additional classes? And then it turns out that his life after school will not be connected with science. On the contrary, he is destined to work for the rest of his life at the factory as a turner, and only then as the head of these turners. Is it fair to do that to a child? I don't think so.

I have a story that illustrates the injustice some parents do to their children. So when I was 5 or 6, our father left the family. He was drunk and I don’t remember him very well. My mother said that at the beginning of their relationship he was a very nice and caring young man. But the family routine, the lack of a normal job broke him down and he started peeking at the bottom of the glass. Where he is now, I do not know at all, everyone is now adults, why stir up old connections.



Nevertheless, his departure prompted my then young mother to go abroad to work. She left me with my grandmother, so I grew up raising an old school. My grandmother was a theater actress when she was young. And she told me that a lot. She advised me to know my worth and never trade for nothing. I think it was only through her advice that I found a decent husband. Not one of the boys I was interested in. That's my smart grandmother.

Meanwhile, my mother found a good job and started earning money. At least by the standards of our city. She sent us funds, so I started to understand style and self-care early on. My grandmother was totally supportive of this.



Unfortunately, my mom couldn't come home often, and that had a little impact on our communication. It’s hard to talk to a family member if you see them for half an hour every two weeks. With not very high-quality sound and picture, on the Web. The first time she came was a month before my wedding. We talked a lot, I introduced her to her son-in-law. And at the wedding, she handed me the keys to our new apartment. A worthy gift for a young family.

I was still young, 19. But I already had a husband, an apartment and great prospects. After that, my mother returned to another country and continued to send me money. So I could focus on my inner world, understanding myself as a person, as a person. In short, she did not pick up some domestic troubles, but did important and useful things. A lot of girls will understand me, I know.

As I continued to communicate with my mother, I learned from her that her plans were to come home permanently. Not immediately, in 3 years. But that was nothing compared to the time she spent on her trip. I was very happy for her, because my grandmother was getting very old, and sometimes it was especially noticeable. Do you know what it feels like when the woman you spent your childhood with was the standard of femininity and grace for you, becomes decrepit? It's painful to watch and very sad.



But 3 years, even a little more, went quite quickly. I became a mother and I will remember that day forever. We gave birth in water, so everything was as eco-friendly and natural as possible. My husband bought a lot of stuff. Quality diapers, crib, stroller, the cleanest and natural mixtures. And a sea of clothes for babies. It was expensive, because I would not wear anything on my child. I even had to take out a loan. But that's nonsense, because my mother should have understood me as a woman. I didn’t think about such small things, I was in harmony with the whole world.

It turned out to be a mistake. Because my mother, who finally came home, first went to my grandmother to see how she was doing. And then to me and my three-month-old grandson. I was expecting gifts and, most importantly, funding. We all know that spending money on children is crazy these days. But my mother said she was tired. She wants to buy an apartment, relax for a while and start looking for a job here. Nothing more.



So she was just working for herself. I saved up for my apartment and didn’t think about me or the baby. Of course, I explained my point of view to her. That I was counting on her help. My husband can't do it because he works alone while I'm with my son. But my parent said I was a grown woman now and I should start saving. Or find another source of income. She spoke coldly and without emotion.

To me, this is the real betrayal. And hypocrisy. I wasn't taught to be a worker. I'm just not made for it, and it's not my whims. I knew from childhood that arable labor is not mine, my path should be more intense and spiritual. But no, Mom doesn't even want to hear about it. I just can't break my nature. What do I do now?



The husband swears that sooner or later we will get out of this mess. But I can see that he is not doing as well as I would like. He often comes late, with red, tired eyes. And on the weekends, he can afford to wave a glass or two before lunch. I remember my father with horror, but I immediately drive those memories away. It's not gonna be like this. But what exactly to do, I can not even imagine. I was deceived, abandoned and now no one wants to take responsibility for it.