I’m already in my seventh decade, I would like to go home and rest, but my son-in-law is not happy to see me in his own house.

In families of the post-Soviet model it often happens this way: a parent devotes his whole life to children, tears away the last for the sake of his native blood. And then sadly condemns adult offspring who do not want to tear off the last shirt at the expense of mom or dad’s “victim”. Alas, sometimes people do not know how to defend personal boundaries and preserve themselves, not to fall into pieces in the name of the happiness of others.

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Editorial "Site" She's sharing a life story with you. The heroine of this story worked hard for the family all her life, but still faced the ingratitude of adult children. Where do you think she could have done differently to avoid pain and frustration?

How to defend personal boundaries I raised a daughter and a son. I put my whole soul into them to become good, decent people. Children were my outlet, grew up obedient, honest and educated guys. I had no doubt that my family would take care of me.

But now I am 67 years old, and I see that the children do not need me at all, although I have done a lot for them. The son is 45, the daughter is 40, both families have three granddaughters. I can only remember the past bitterly...



My husband and I divorced 20 years ago. At first everything was like people, and then began to drink and raise a hand on me and on the children. I couldn't stand it. She put her son and daughter on their feet and decided to help them with housing. They were already adults when I decided to go to work in Portugal.

For the wedding of my son, I gave him an apartment in the city, and I myself stayed with my daughter in the village. Anything near a native bloodline is easier to meet old age than next to a daughter-in-law. Although my son's wife seemed to me a good girl, hardworking, kind, with me was always polite and friendly. I continued to help them as much as I could.

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My son and I went on to renovate our home. I put all the money I earned into it. Meanwhile, the daughter's fiancé appeared. After the wedding, she brought her son-in-law to our house, and they both took up the household.

While I was once again working, the newlyweds reported that they were going to rebuild the second floor of the house. I assumed it was for me. I want to live with them when I get back. We didn’t talk about it then, which I regret very much. So I kept working hard, saving every penny to send to the kids.



I thought I'd come home and live together. I am retired, I will pamper my granddaughter, grow roses for sale, monitor the household - the children have rabbits and quails. It didn’t turn out as I dreamed and planned.

I went on vacation with my daughter for a couple of weeks. I even thought to return permanently - health is not the same, began to get tired quickly, and the house was finally completed. But what do I see when I get here? My son-in-law imagined himself to be the sole master of my own house. It is not enough to say that I was not welcome...



I decided to invite my friends to visit. I haven’t seen you for six months, how much news has accumulated during this time, and I missed you incredibly. My son-in-law refused me flatly, saying that this is not the best time for gatherings. The daughter sided with her husband and did not stand up. How sad and sad I was, I can’t put it into words.

The next day I fell down in the morning - the pressure jumped, and the pills ran out. In our local pharmacy, the necessary ones are not sold. Recipe on hand, asked the son-in-law to go to the city. I can't do it myself, I can't stand on my feet. Where in this state on the bus for an hour to rattle bones on potholes? My son-in-law has a car. Barely persuaded for dinner - with a dissatisfied face, he deigned to rescue his mother-in-law. I was always a strong person, and then I felt so helpless and useless to anyone.



Son and daughter-in-law were upset too. Didn't find a free moment in 2 weeks to invite me to visit. I would never believe I was so busy. Oh, come on, Mommy's here!

So it turns out - you give all yourself without a trace, and in the end you are superfluous, forgotten, abandoned. Now I have to decide what to do. If I go abroad, I have a few more years to earn my own apartment. But here at home, my own children are not waiting for me. I have no one to go back to. Why did they do this to me?