The Mistake All Parents Make When Telling Children About Divorce Bashny.Net

Children after the divorce of parents, as a rule, face a lot of problems. Some people blame themselves for the fact that Mom and Dad separated. Some people do not understand how to live on. Childhood unworked trauma is the result of improper preparation of the child for the divorce of parents. What you need to say to your child on the eve of such a serious event, I suggest discussing in today’s article.



After a parent’s divorce, a person’s maturity is not determined by their age. This illustrates the family question perfectly. Many spouses whose marriage is breaking at the seams are trying to save him. The motive is often the same: “We’re doing this for the child.” Only here to grab a straw in this case is useless.

Moreover, an unhealthy relationship between father and mother will certainly affect the mental state of the child. Children feel everything. Although sometimes you do not need to go far: parents quarrel with the child or tell him about their grievances. In no case should he become a third party to the conflict.



And there are times when spouses think that their failing marriage can save a child. They say that old feelings will be reborn and everything will be fine. In practice, however, everything turns out exactly the opposite. Husband and wife become more irritable to each other.

What do we do? Divorce, of course. This decision should not be the end of the world for spouses. A mature approach to the problem will protect them and the child from further difficulties.

How will the conversation with the child about divorce depends on how old the baby is. Sometimes even teenagers don’t understand the meaning of the word divorce. Of course, parents will not be able to convey its meaning to a too young child. However, if he already knows how to talk and identifies as a person, this conversation is necessary.



The child must be informed of the divorce. Then find out if he understands what's going on. It is important to know that the baby’s life will not change. Of course, except when the family is waiting to move. That, too, needs to be said.

Stability is important for children. Therefore, it is so important to convey to the immature mind the idea that the divorce of parents will not affect this. The child should know how he will communicate with his mother or father. It depends on which parent the child will live with on a permanent basis.



The child often lives with the mother. And the father either comes to visit or takes his offspring for the weekend. The options could be mass. When the family discusses this in advance, the children know what awaits them.

So that the child does not blame themselves for the divorce of parents, they must explain to him that the problem is not in him. He will not be able to influence the decision of mom and dad. It's important to say it out loud.

In addition, it is worth discussing the further communication of the child with other relatives. Like my grandparents on my dad's side. Restricting their contact due to divorce is wrong and stupid. The child should know that he will be able to communicate freely with his family, as it was before.

In a conversation with a child on such a complex topic, it is important not only what you say, but also how you do it. No matter how tragic the reason for divorce (such as infidelity), children should not be aware of it. In practice, this is how it works.



You can tell your child, “We’re getting divorced because we don’t feel happy with each other anymore.” You can't say, "We're getting divorced because your father betrayed me."

Parents need to talk about divorce together. It is also best to do this in the morning rather than in the evening. Either way, the news will be a shock to the child. After such a conversation, he is unlikely to be able to sleep. Therefore, it is important that he has enough time to reflect on what he heard.



If you understand that your child is absolutely not ready for this, it is better to consult a specialist. Sometimes just one session with a therapist is enough. He will help you understand everything and find the right words.

Tell me, have you ever faced such a problem? How would you explain to your child that your parents want a divorce?