18
As a child, I was brought up in strictness, do not repeat the mistakes of my parents and create a friendly atmosphere in the family.
Parents always try to protect their child from trouble. To do this, they come up with different rules, but it is not enough just to ban something from a small child. In order for the rules of parents in the family to be respected and respected, it is necessary to explain why there is a certain rule in the family. Children do not perceive aggression well, so the rules must be voiced in a friendly form, giving the child to understand that some prohibitions are necessary for the welfare and safety of the child.
The rules of parents do not always lend themselves to logic and make sense. Parents are also human, and sometimes they don’t know how to cope with their own emotions and behave strangely with children. Concern for the safety of a child leads to strange bans. These prohibitions cultivate in the child resentment, fear, misunderstanding and dislike for themselves. All this is due to distrust of the child and the inability to explain their behavior.
Peels: I didn't have any girlfriends. If my classmates came to visit me, my mother would not allow me to close the door to the room and would generally force them to do cleaning while they sat in the room and waited. At 25, I couldn’t go to a friend’s birthday party without permission. At home, wearing shorts and a T-shirt was forbidden. I am 38 years old and married. Going home, the whole family takes off their clothes and walks, which is comfortable. We eat what we want and we don’t make rules in the house. And, you know, so well and so comfortable, the home does not linger anywhere for a long time – everyone wants to go home all the time.
You can’t prepare for everything, and raising children sometimes scares parents. Fear of spoiling a child often leads to the opposite effect. Sometimes adults don’t have time to spend time with their children. It is easier to set the same rules for the whole family than to take care of everyone’s needs.
Peels: Adults never let me have a dog. They didn’t want to worry about it and didn’t realize that I was alone at the time. Some foods my sister and I made nausea, but no one cooked a separate meal for us. We had to eat the same food as everyone else. My dad would give me the back of my head when I asked for a drink or said I wanted to go to the bathroom. I still don’t eat or drink anything on the street, says Elena.
The call to order in the house in a rude form causes fear and dislike in the child. No one is perfect and parents often make mistakes. And those who have experienced parental pressure in childhood will never use the same tactics in raising their children.
“My mother freaked out when she saw a broken cup or unwashed dishes. She kept yelling at me and putting me in the corner. I never understood the meaning of standing in a corner. Unlike my mother, my father, who often went on business trips, was always affectionate and caring. He never scolded me, we washed dishes together and cleaned up when my mother was gone. In high school, I moved in with my grandmother because I couldn’t stand my mother’s tyranny. After all, it was possible in the form of a game to teach a child to clean up after himself, but parents, in addition to children, have a lot of adult problems that exhaust. That's why it happens.
Peels Editorial Council Being a parent is not easy. The child absorbs everything from the diapers like a sponge: he adopts facial expressions, gestures of his parents, imitates their behavior and adopts habits. Prohibitions make sense if the child understands the consequences of actions. And to do this, you have to explain everything patiently and sometimes several times. Parents open books on pedagogy and seek help from a specialist when the problem already exists and the contact between the child and parents is broken.
The only thing that every parent should remember is that children, while they are young, always need the attention and approval of their parents. After all, mom and dad from the first years of life are the most important people for a person. Did your parents ever forbid you to do anything?
The rules of parents do not always lend themselves to logic and make sense. Parents are also human, and sometimes they don’t know how to cope with their own emotions and behave strangely with children. Concern for the safety of a child leads to strange bans. These prohibitions cultivate in the child resentment, fear, misunderstanding and dislike for themselves. All this is due to distrust of the child and the inability to explain their behavior.
Peels: I didn't have any girlfriends. If my classmates came to visit me, my mother would not allow me to close the door to the room and would generally force them to do cleaning while they sat in the room and waited. At 25, I couldn’t go to a friend’s birthday party without permission. At home, wearing shorts and a T-shirt was forbidden. I am 38 years old and married. Going home, the whole family takes off their clothes and walks, which is comfortable. We eat what we want and we don’t make rules in the house. And, you know, so well and so comfortable, the home does not linger anywhere for a long time – everyone wants to go home all the time.
You can’t prepare for everything, and raising children sometimes scares parents. Fear of spoiling a child often leads to the opposite effect. Sometimes adults don’t have time to spend time with their children. It is easier to set the same rules for the whole family than to take care of everyone’s needs.
Peels: Adults never let me have a dog. They didn’t want to worry about it and didn’t realize that I was alone at the time. Some foods my sister and I made nausea, but no one cooked a separate meal for us. We had to eat the same food as everyone else. My dad would give me the back of my head when I asked for a drink or said I wanted to go to the bathroom. I still don’t eat or drink anything on the street, says Elena.
The call to order in the house in a rude form causes fear and dislike in the child. No one is perfect and parents often make mistakes. And those who have experienced parental pressure in childhood will never use the same tactics in raising their children.
“My mother freaked out when she saw a broken cup or unwashed dishes. She kept yelling at me and putting me in the corner. I never understood the meaning of standing in a corner. Unlike my mother, my father, who often went on business trips, was always affectionate and caring. He never scolded me, we washed dishes together and cleaned up when my mother was gone. In high school, I moved in with my grandmother because I couldn’t stand my mother’s tyranny. After all, it was possible in the form of a game to teach a child to clean up after himself, but parents, in addition to children, have a lot of adult problems that exhaust. That's why it happens.
Peels Editorial Council Being a parent is not easy. The child absorbs everything from the diapers like a sponge: he adopts facial expressions, gestures of his parents, imitates their behavior and adopts habits. Prohibitions make sense if the child understands the consequences of actions. And to do this, you have to explain everything patiently and sometimes several times. Parents open books on pedagogy and seek help from a specialist when the problem already exists and the contact between the child and parents is broken.
The only thing that every parent should remember is that children, while they are young, always need the attention and approval of their parents. After all, mom and dad from the first years of life are the most important people for a person. Did your parents ever forbid you to do anything?
