Old people are guilty that adult children do not call and do not come, you just need to change a couple of things in their behavior. Bashny.Net

In old age, people increasingly feel loneliness. The reasons for this are many: retirement and loss of communication with colleagues, health problems and deterioration of character, conservative views on the world and the peculiarities of the psyche of an elderly person. All this leads to the fact that even close ones prefer to keep their distance.

Today's edition. "Site" He will share the story of a man who has always been in a great relationship with his mother. However, over the years, their communication brought less and less good. And now the adult son wonders how self-sufficient Old age can become unbearable.



My mother and I have always had a wonderful relationship: in early childhood, at school, and at institute. It's hard to remember any of our quarrels. We read the same books, and watched the same movies, and the jam was rolled together for the winter, and the grandmother’s house was repaired, recalls Oleg, 35.



“I miss those days because my mother was different then. She couldn't sit still, she had so much energy. Everyone appreciated her, especially at work. They knew she was a perfectionist who hated being done badly.

“She divorced my father, but then remarried. In my new marriage, my younger sister was born. Mom managed to watch her daughter, and courses in accounting to pass. Not surprisingly, soon after the decree, she was promoted, even sent abroad. I was very proud of her.



“Then the work started to have problems, the money became less, my mother became nervous, constantly overworking. Then conflicts with his stepfather began, he began to drink, and soon left the family altogether. My mother became even more gloomy, her company closed down, things didn’t go well at the new place of work.

My daughter went to another city after school, I also lived far away. Mom worked remotely, but such a "comfortable" work did not benefit her, she recovered, began to complain about her health. And then I started complaining that we left her, that we were not interested in her life.”



Why has everything changed? “My mother is only 55 years old, but I don’t recognize her. She lost the former flame of life, she forgot about all her hobbies. The conversation boils down to complaining about everything and asking about my business. She gives a lot of advice. She's worried that I don't have a very promising job. And even hints that I should have found a better wife, but if there is a child, there is nothing you can do.

“After every visit, I feel guilty. I blame myself for not being able to come more often, for not being able to buy her an apartment next door. One day I offered her to relax, I wanted to buy a trip to the resort. But she was only offended. She said I just wanted to send her away.”



“It turns out that she is not interested in anything, does not need anything, does not matter. But after work, she sits down in front of the TV and watches some stupid programs until late at night. I can’t understand how a person with her education, experience and perfectionism can spend their life on this, Oleg said.



Psychologists remind that self-sufficient people who retain passion and interest in life in old age do not remain alone. They have enough activities and hobbies that do not leave them time for boredom, complaints and accusations.

Having a job, hobbies and interesting like-minded people helps a person stay afloat in any years. This is much better than demanding positive emotions from loved ones without giving anything good in return. And if a person remains an interesting and cheerful interlocutor, then people will continue to reach for him.