Why pay for accommodation when it is cheaper to visit? How to share a living space with relatives.

What to do with your husband’s relatives? I think that’s the question every woman who is married asks.

On the one hand, they are an integral part of such a life value as the family, which ideally should be based on love, mutual help, acceptance. But what happens when these very relatives, who are supposed to be supportive and supportive, do not do this, do not behave very correctly and, frankly, do not do this. pop out?





I'll tell you my friend's story. She was in a similar situation and found a way out.

A friend lived with her husband in a four-room apartment. The house is hers because her husband is a foreigner. Shortly after the wedding, they were joined by her sister with a young child, who was frightened and hard on her own after the divorce. Everyone had a room, nothing foreshadowed trouble.





The couple got acquainted with each other’s relatives and maintained warm relations with them. And since they all lived in different settlements, it was possible to do it at a distance especially well. Changed one. phone call.

A friend of her husband’s parents asked to shelter him for a day, he was going on a working visit to the capital. My friend barely knew him, crossed paths with him at large family celebrations, but she did not dare to refuse, so as not to offend a person close to her relatives.





Calls from this man became more frequent and not in advance. It turned out that he was promoted and business trip became common. Twice a month he visited my friend’s house and felt no embarrassment. A friend of the family received business trips, which were issued for food and a hotel, but preferred not to spend them.

That's it. "poor relatives". Why bother when you can get everything for free? I took the word “friend” in quotation marks because this man behaved in the very opposite way to the loud name. For his part, he took no part in the lives of the people he owed for his hospitality.





My friend is a kind, responsive person, not burdened with complexes and stereotypical thinking, and at first did not think about whether you should understand the requests of this man. But gradually she began to feel that she was just being used.

Guest arrivals always fall on Friday evening, the time that after the work week should be given to the waiting attention of loved ones. The man never took this into account and behaved like a real egoist and consumer. He demanded attention and care during the weekend, appealing to acquaintance with relatives. And the family, in turn, did not realize how wrong it was. Insinuate it to her. fostering.





One set of circumstances broke this vicious circle. Once the guest came not alone, but with his wife and two adult children, without warning. Naive owners thought that they decided to congratulate them on the holiday, the day before her husband had a birthday. The guests congratulated the people to whom they came to live, only in words, and were very upset when they saw that there was no delicious food left from yesterday, since they were not celebrating at home. And they were expecting the opposite.





People came to relax at someone else’s expense: to satiate and finally spend the saved business trips, do shopping in the capital’s stores. The plan didn't work.The guests were very outraged, for the first time left unhappy, and never returned.

After that, my friend’s reputation in the family circle deteriorated. She was not to blame for what happened. She drew conclusions for herself.





Learn to set the distance. If you are uncomfortable in a relationship, you need to change the format.

Only the husband is chosen, and his friends or relatives get in addition. There's nothing we can do about it. Treat them well, humanly. But if they treat you badly, feel free to tell them that such a relationship is not acceptable to you. Everything has to be mutual.

Believe me, if you do something to your own detriment, such a compromise will be unnecessary, you will not deserve more respect in the family circle. It's your choice to go for it or not. And the editorial board "Site" - learn to say no!







Without relatives.Of course it's bad too! But when they do, you need to build a harmonious relationship with them. Tell me what kind of atmosphere reigns in your family and how you manage to improve it. Share what you read with your friends!