The 3 Minute Rule for Weary Parents Bashny.Net

Sooner or later there will be a gap between parents and children. Most often at the time when the child enters adolescence. Then you have to learn to build bridges over the abyss to be able to hear each other.

Practising psychologist Natalia SyroticHead of the Caritas-Kyiv Center for Work with Children and Youth shared a simple but effective way that helps relatives find a common language and establish family relations. It’s called the 3 Minute Rule.





The rule of three minutes is to always meet a child with such great joy, interest and delight, with which I would meet a friend whom I have not seen for many years.

It doesn’t matter if you come back from the shop you ran to for bread or come home after a day’s work, you still have to follow it. After all, usually everything that the child wants to share with the parent, he gives in the first minutes of the meeting. It's important not to waste that time.





There are parents who intuitively follow the Three Minute Rule. For example, picking up a child from school, they always drop to the level of his eyes, hug and say that he missed him. While others simply hold the child’s hand and say, “Well, let’s go,” while continuing to talk on their mobile. In the latter case adulthood It's not happening.





When you come home, first pay attention to the child. Take off your shoes, follow him, sit next to him. You have a few minutes to ask him about the day and listen.

Then you can go eat or watch the news. But if you don’t spend the first few minutes with your child, he’ll be following you all night, demanding communication. At some point he will get tired of it, and he will drift away. It is important to consider these features of communication with children.



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What matters is not the total amount of time spent together, but the quality. A few minutes of soulful conversation will mean more to the child than a whole day spent together, during which you will be indifferent, physically close, in the same apartment, and thoughts only inside yourself.

Statistics say that modern parents allocate an average of one and a half hours a day to communicate with children. That's a pretty good indicator. All that remains is to take care of the emotional intensity of these hours.



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The worries and fuss of parents will certainly not make children happier. Parents believe that they are constantly engaged in business for the sake of their children and their welfare. But for a child, live communication is more important than things and a life example.

For parents and children, the expression “time together” often has a different meaning. It’s enough for adults to have kids just beside them when they do things around the house or go to the store.

But for children, “time together” is looking into the eyes, when parents sit next to each other, put down their mobile phones, turn off thoughts about hundreds of their problems and do not get distracted during a conversation. Then they feel special, necessary, important, loved. A child won't trust you if he thinks he's not a priority.



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Parents do not always have time to not only talk, but also play with their children, and when it falls out, it is important to do only what the child wants. It is superfluous to offer your leisure options.

Time is fleeting, you will not have time to come to your senses as your sons and daughters grow up, so do not waste a minute and start building trusting relationships with them now. Let the Three Minutes Rule help. Share an article about it on social networks.