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How often should parents be visited?
All people are different, and therefore the relationship between them is different. Even if they are very close people. For example, some parents are happy to see an adult child at any time and even ask them to come more often. And others are shunned, saying that you are already a big, new family, a new home, do not interfere with our lives.
And today's edition. "Site" It will talk about why, after a wedding, children often become strangers, and at best just guests in the parental home - the place where they grew up.
Father and mother changed the locks in the apartment as soon as I got married. They said they felt safe because I never told them I was coming and I could show up at any time. Is that what parents should do? ?
“I moved out 2 years ago. At first, Oleg and I rented a room, then stood up a little and rented a separate apartment. The key to parental housing all this time I had – one to move, then another. And then you need something, and you go back to your parents to pick it up.
For the first six months, I often came to visit, to visit the cat, to pick up things like a cup, an album, documents, CDs, magazines. She could come and drink tea without her parents. I always cleaned up and washed dishes. No one prohibited anything.”
The decision to marry was made when I was 23. There was no money, and instead of a gold ring, Oleg presented me with a ring from a can of canned fish. The wedding itself was also very modest. Some guests did not even spend on a gift, but just helped set the table - brought salads from the house, cuts.
My parents donated only 20,000 rubles for the wedding, although Oleg and I expected more. His parents went to the wedding with a teapot. However, at the end of the evening, Oleg's father gave him money, asking him not to tell his mother.
“My girlfriend gave me a picture, but there was nowhere to hang it. We rent a tiny apartment, and the owners categorically forbid making holes in the walls. So I decided to take the gift to my parents and hang it in my room.
However, I could not get into my parents’ apartment – a new castle was adorned in the door. I had to call my mother and ask why the locks had been changed and I had not been warned.”
You are now a married woman, you have a husband. And your home is where it is. My dad and I hate to go home and see that someone has been in our absence. Let's make arrangements that you'll only come when we're home. And warn in advance if there is little that my father and I do, said the mother.
I almost cried. All these years of endless moving and moving around rented apartments was comforted by one thing - I have a place where they will always accept - the parental home. Once, because of a neighbor’s slander, Oleg and I were evicted. And while we were looking for a new apartment, we were living in my room. When my mother came home from work, she was very surprised, but she said nothing.”
“And if that happens again, what should we do? Call and ask to go to my home where I lived for 20 years. I have one. parental housingSo why can't we be there? It felt like I had just been cut off from my family, cut off and thrown away like a piece of stale bread. I threw the key on the doormat and left.
I don’t even answer my parents’ calls. When I got married, did I stop being their daughter? And what they can do is come home from work, have dinner and watch TV. What's wrong if I keep them company like I used to? I feel like they were just waiting to get rid of me. This change of locks is really mean on their part.”
Mother and father housing A child cannot be a foreign home. But, perhaps, after the wedding of the only daughter, not yet old and working parents really want to live for themselves, to implement long-planned plans, and frequent and unplanned visits of the daughter interfere with this.
Maybe a young woman really reacts painfully to this detachment of parents, but they do not forbid to come, but only ask to show more respect for their personal space. It is unlikely that she would like to start parents interfered with moralizing in her family life.
And today's edition. "Site" It will talk about why, after a wedding, children often become strangers, and at best just guests in the parental home - the place where they grew up.
Father and mother changed the locks in the apartment as soon as I got married. They said they felt safe because I never told them I was coming and I could show up at any time. Is that what parents should do? ?
“I moved out 2 years ago. At first, Oleg and I rented a room, then stood up a little and rented a separate apartment. The key to parental housing all this time I had – one to move, then another. And then you need something, and you go back to your parents to pick it up.
For the first six months, I often came to visit, to visit the cat, to pick up things like a cup, an album, documents, CDs, magazines. She could come and drink tea without her parents. I always cleaned up and washed dishes. No one prohibited anything.”
The decision to marry was made when I was 23. There was no money, and instead of a gold ring, Oleg presented me with a ring from a can of canned fish. The wedding itself was also very modest. Some guests did not even spend on a gift, but just helped set the table - brought salads from the house, cuts.
My parents donated only 20,000 rubles for the wedding, although Oleg and I expected more. His parents went to the wedding with a teapot. However, at the end of the evening, Oleg's father gave him money, asking him not to tell his mother.
“My girlfriend gave me a picture, but there was nowhere to hang it. We rent a tiny apartment, and the owners categorically forbid making holes in the walls. So I decided to take the gift to my parents and hang it in my room.
However, I could not get into my parents’ apartment – a new castle was adorned in the door. I had to call my mother and ask why the locks had been changed and I had not been warned.”
You are now a married woman, you have a husband. And your home is where it is. My dad and I hate to go home and see that someone has been in our absence. Let's make arrangements that you'll only come when we're home. And warn in advance if there is little that my father and I do, said the mother.
I almost cried. All these years of endless moving and moving around rented apartments was comforted by one thing - I have a place where they will always accept - the parental home. Once, because of a neighbor’s slander, Oleg and I were evicted. And while we were looking for a new apartment, we were living in my room. When my mother came home from work, she was very surprised, but she said nothing.”
“And if that happens again, what should we do? Call and ask to go to my home where I lived for 20 years. I have one. parental housingSo why can't we be there? It felt like I had just been cut off from my family, cut off and thrown away like a piece of stale bread. I threw the key on the doormat and left.
I don’t even answer my parents’ calls. When I got married, did I stop being their daughter? And what they can do is come home from work, have dinner and watch TV. What's wrong if I keep them company like I used to? I feel like they were just waiting to get rid of me. This change of locks is really mean on their part.”
Mother and father housing A child cannot be a foreign home. But, perhaps, after the wedding of the only daughter, not yet old and working parents really want to live for themselves, to implement long-planned plans, and frequent and unplanned visits of the daughter interfere with this.
Maybe a young woman really reacts painfully to this detachment of parents, but they do not forbid to come, but only ask to show more respect for their personal space. It is unlikely that she would like to start parents interfered with moralizing in her family life.
