9
How to become an impeccable mother
Raising and raising a child is the most important and difficult job in the world. It is important because a new member of society is being raised who can change the world for the better. It is difficult because parents have to work hard for many years. But most often, this work falls almost entirely on the fragile shoulders of women.
And today's edition. "Site" Tell me why. chronic emotional stress - a mandatory companion of many mothers. And also share tips on how to deal with such a problem to begin to get pleasure from having children, not just fatigue and headache.
Chronic stress "I was sitting on the edge of the bed staring at my phone distractedly, scrolling through Instagram feed." Every second picture was watched by young mothers - happy, smiling, cheerful. I noticed my hunched back, which was already beginning to hurt, but I did not find the strength to align and sit normally.”
“There was a rustle from the nursery: the child clearly did not sleep. We should get up and go and see how it might be more comfortable. But I just sighed silently and put my phone down.”
“Is everything okay?” asked the husband. His words made me think. Before my eyes floated a list of household chores planned for this evening. There was a habitual sense of anxiety and guilt.”
I wanted to answer as cheerfully as all these smiling beauties from the picture probably say that everything is wonderful, that it can not be better. But I felt like I wasn't. I'm exhausted -- that's the honest answer. But do happy moms say that? I nodded silently to my husband and wandered into the nursery.”
“Let’s plan a weekend so I can sit with the baby and you can spend a couple of hours,” he said. Yeah, I guess that would be nice. But a couple of hours off over the weekend is unlikely to make me an energetic bee that suddenly remembers how to enjoy life. I think deep stress He has become an integral part of me, and I cannot get away from him on the weekend.”
Indeed, it is impossible to rest, having only a few hours a week. Impossible at this time. throw outWhether the baby is healthy, whether he has eaten enough, whether the small rash on his back is dangerous, whether he should already be crawling, whether I am a good mother.
It doesn't relax. No foam baths and glasses of wine will drown out the alarm inside. No meeting with girlfriends will not block the social isolation of the first months after the birth of a child, when the whole world revolved around the crib. No amount of sleep compensates for the energy spent balancing work and motherhood.
Moms are increasingly stressed, but society is less and less supportive. Burnout has become the norm for everyone, not the hallmark of a bad mom. And this burnout began with the plans for the birth of a child.
Mom burns out when she listens to unnecessary stories about the horrors of motherhood. She burns out when she is forced to go to work early, knowing that she did not breastfeed her baby enough. It burns out when someone or something reminds you how it has changed, how it has lost shape. He burns out when he tries to combine the advice of a pediatrician with the instructions of older relatives.
Motherhood is not easy. But trying to take everything on your shoulders and solve all the problems, a young mother does not make the process easy. Trying to be an ideal mother, a woman does bad for herself, her husband, and her child.
“The main welfare of the family is the state of health of the mother. Dad should beat everyone off with a kite and let mom eat, sleep, walk, said Dr. Komarovsky. It's hard to argue.
Mom needs to be able to relax not only on weekends or in rare moments of sleep. It is important to accept your vulnerability and not be ashamed of it. You can’t be a perfect mother, but you can be a happy mother.
It is important to understand your own value, putting the interests of the family above the interests of one child. And when a young mother learns this, she will be able to get pleasure from gatherings with girlfriends, and from a glass of good wine, and from a bath with foam.
And today's edition. "Site" Tell me why. chronic emotional stress - a mandatory companion of many mothers. And also share tips on how to deal with such a problem to begin to get pleasure from having children, not just fatigue and headache.
Chronic stress "I was sitting on the edge of the bed staring at my phone distractedly, scrolling through Instagram feed." Every second picture was watched by young mothers - happy, smiling, cheerful. I noticed my hunched back, which was already beginning to hurt, but I did not find the strength to align and sit normally.”
“There was a rustle from the nursery: the child clearly did not sleep. We should get up and go and see how it might be more comfortable. But I just sighed silently and put my phone down.”
“Is everything okay?” asked the husband. His words made me think. Before my eyes floated a list of household chores planned for this evening. There was a habitual sense of anxiety and guilt.”
I wanted to answer as cheerfully as all these smiling beauties from the picture probably say that everything is wonderful, that it can not be better. But I felt like I wasn't. I'm exhausted -- that's the honest answer. But do happy moms say that? I nodded silently to my husband and wandered into the nursery.”
“Let’s plan a weekend so I can sit with the baby and you can spend a couple of hours,” he said. Yeah, I guess that would be nice. But a couple of hours off over the weekend is unlikely to make me an energetic bee that suddenly remembers how to enjoy life. I think deep stress He has become an integral part of me, and I cannot get away from him on the weekend.”
Indeed, it is impossible to rest, having only a few hours a week. Impossible at this time. throw outWhether the baby is healthy, whether he has eaten enough, whether the small rash on his back is dangerous, whether he should already be crawling, whether I am a good mother.
It doesn't relax. No foam baths and glasses of wine will drown out the alarm inside. No meeting with girlfriends will not block the social isolation of the first months after the birth of a child, when the whole world revolved around the crib. No amount of sleep compensates for the energy spent balancing work and motherhood.
Moms are increasingly stressed, but society is less and less supportive. Burnout has become the norm for everyone, not the hallmark of a bad mom. And this burnout began with the plans for the birth of a child.
Mom burns out when she listens to unnecessary stories about the horrors of motherhood. She burns out when she is forced to go to work early, knowing that she did not breastfeed her baby enough. It burns out when someone or something reminds you how it has changed, how it has lost shape. He burns out when he tries to combine the advice of a pediatrician with the instructions of older relatives.
Motherhood is not easy. But trying to take everything on your shoulders and solve all the problems, a young mother does not make the process easy. Trying to be an ideal mother, a woman does bad for herself, her husband, and her child.
“The main welfare of the family is the state of health of the mother. Dad should beat everyone off with a kite and let mom eat, sleep, walk, said Dr. Komarovsky. It's hard to argue.
Mom needs to be able to relax not only on weekends or in rare moments of sleep. It is important to accept your vulnerability and not be ashamed of it. You can’t be a perfect mother, but you can be a happy mother.
It is important to understand your own value, putting the interests of the family above the interests of one child. And when a young mother learns this, she will be able to get pleasure from gatherings with girlfriends, and from a glass of good wine, and from a bath with foam.
