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Why Smart Parents Don't Want to Live With Adult Children
When a child is small and completely dependent on his parents, he adores them, obeys them. It seems that there is no reason for disagreement. But as the child grows older, the child becomes more independent, moves away. Disagreements with relatives are growing. Over time. Misunderstandings turn into resentmentsThey may even put an end to the relationship between parents and their adult child. Why is that?
And today's edition. "Site" will make his point Parent-adult relationship. What prevents you from building adequate relationships with aging moms and dads to be supportive and not annoying?
Surprisingly, maintaining close relationships with parents is much easier at a distance. It would seem that everything should be the opposite and the closer the relatives, the better. But life is different. And often close people living in neighboring rooms can feel like strangers.
But, having come to visit adult children, mother and father cannot rejoice in hospitality, admire how competently they managed to organize their lives. But they are just as happy to go home, no matter how well they are treated. What is the secret of this phenomenon?
The fact is that in the later years, people appreciate it more. habitual. And no matter what excellent conditions a person is provided at a party, he will still be more comfortable at home. Just because he doesn't feel so old in his own home.
Here's the usual sofa, and here's the favorite chair, and here's the same dilapidated fence. It's the same as it was 20 years ago. And in such an environment, a person really feels 20 years younger. You just need to look less in the mirror... and not see how much your children have grown up.
But if you move in with them or let the kids move in with you, the saving illusion will collapse. The old apartment is associated with youth. But new, even beautiful conditions and adult children are associated with old age. But man is so arranged that to the last he clings to his own youth.
Therefore, while there is an opportunity, it is not necessary to pull older people out of their usual habitat - this is the best place where they feel good. You can just help, visit, call.
Today, in the era of high technology, caring for loved ones is much easier than ever before. You can even order any service at the address, including repair or cleaning. The main thing is that your parents trust you enough to ask for such help.
Affects parent-child relations psychological compatibility as well. If people look at the world in a similar way, then even living in the same living space is acceptable for them.
Of course, it is best when close people do not live together, but nearby. But certainly not thousands of miles apart. Although some toxic relatives in one voice psychologists recommend to stay away. Be sure to find out more about this, and also express your opinion on this.
And today's edition. "Site" will make his point Parent-adult relationship. What prevents you from building adequate relationships with aging moms and dads to be supportive and not annoying?
Surprisingly, maintaining close relationships with parents is much easier at a distance. It would seem that everything should be the opposite and the closer the relatives, the better. But life is different. And often close people living in neighboring rooms can feel like strangers.
But, having come to visit adult children, mother and father cannot rejoice in hospitality, admire how competently they managed to organize their lives. But they are just as happy to go home, no matter how well they are treated. What is the secret of this phenomenon?
The fact is that in the later years, people appreciate it more. habitual. And no matter what excellent conditions a person is provided at a party, he will still be more comfortable at home. Just because he doesn't feel so old in his own home.
Here's the usual sofa, and here's the favorite chair, and here's the same dilapidated fence. It's the same as it was 20 years ago. And in such an environment, a person really feels 20 years younger. You just need to look less in the mirror... and not see how much your children have grown up.
But if you move in with them or let the kids move in with you, the saving illusion will collapse. The old apartment is associated with youth. But new, even beautiful conditions and adult children are associated with old age. But man is so arranged that to the last he clings to his own youth.
Therefore, while there is an opportunity, it is not necessary to pull older people out of their usual habitat - this is the best place where they feel good. You can just help, visit, call.
Today, in the era of high technology, caring for loved ones is much easier than ever before. You can even order any service at the address, including repair or cleaning. The main thing is that your parents trust you enough to ask for such help.
Affects parent-child relations psychological compatibility as well. If people look at the world in a similar way, then even living in the same living space is acceptable for them.
Of course, it is best when close people do not live together, but nearby. But certainly not thousands of miles apart. Although some toxic relatives in one voice psychologists recommend to stay away. Be sure to find out more about this, and also express your opinion on this.
