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Why Adult Children Stop Visiting Older Parents
Everyone needs support and communication. He wants to be sure that there will always be close people who are ready to support in difficult times. No one dreams of being alone, especially not of being lonely in their later years. But senility This is not just a horror story, but a reality for many people.
And today's edition. "Site" He offers to talk about why family people, surrounded by children and nephews, are often lonely in their later years, and no one is in a hurry to visit them. Even if there's someone. For clarity, as an example, we give the story of our reader.
Nina Georgievna, my neighbor, worked all her life as a teacher at school. She was married twice and raised three children. With her first husband broke up quickly, but she did not grieve for a long time and married again, writes Irina.
“The second marriage lasted longer, with 2 sons and a girl born. But the relationship with her husband could hardly be called happy. The whole entrance remembers their quarrels and clarifying relationships. As a result, the man left, and my neighbor was left to raise the children alone.”
“It has been many years. Nina Georgievna’s children have grown up, they have gone somewhere. The eldest son and his family live in a nearby town. My daughter travels around the country. The youngest, they say, lives in the suburbs. But I haven't seen him in a couple of years.
“It would seem that an elderly woman who alone raised three children should be bathed in their attention and care for the rest of the years. They must be there to help and bring their grandchildren. But that's not happening. The neighbor lives alone, has few contacts, occasionally goes to the store.”
“I felt sorry for this woman who had lived a difficult life. Her relationship with the children seemed normal and it was completely unclear how they could leave her alone. But one day I finally got an answer to my question.”
Returning home on a weekend, I met Artem, the eldest son of Nina Georgievna. We talked for a while, and I ventured to ask why neither he nor his brother nor his sister came to see his mother. Artem's explanation got me thinking. Who knows, maybe I’ll be a lonely old man. ?
“It turned out that Nina Georgievna has a complex character. She is very demanding, not only to men, but also to her own children. Strict upbringing left a mark on their relationship.”
“At first, children considered rigor to be the norm, respected and even feared their mother. But when she retired, she became even more picky, just unbearable. It was impossible to please her, as a result of which the children began to distance themselves from the parent. “The less we see each other, the less she scolds me,” Artem sadly concluded.
“From the outside, the neighbor’s pickiness was imperceptible, but the closest people felt it for themselves. An overly demanding woman herself alienated her relatives, for which she pays to this day. I think dissatisfaction with relatives is the most obvious sign that a person will spend the rest of his days alone, Irina shared her thoughts.
In this story it is difficult to find the extreme, but it happens all the time. Without tolerance and compromise, any family relations are doomed. And if a person makes the life of his loved ones unbearable, then sooner or later he will be alone, without the necessary support.
Often parents continue to control the life of an adult child, making him hostage to their complexes and hopes. They demand, and demand is the way to nowhere. A good relationship is possible when both sides move towards each other. It is important for everyone to make their own move.
And today's edition. "Site" He offers to talk about why family people, surrounded by children and nephews, are often lonely in their later years, and no one is in a hurry to visit them. Even if there's someone. For clarity, as an example, we give the story of our reader.
Nina Georgievna, my neighbor, worked all her life as a teacher at school. She was married twice and raised three children. With her first husband broke up quickly, but she did not grieve for a long time and married again, writes Irina.
“The second marriage lasted longer, with 2 sons and a girl born. But the relationship with her husband could hardly be called happy. The whole entrance remembers their quarrels and clarifying relationships. As a result, the man left, and my neighbor was left to raise the children alone.”
“It has been many years. Nina Georgievna’s children have grown up, they have gone somewhere. The eldest son and his family live in a nearby town. My daughter travels around the country. The youngest, they say, lives in the suburbs. But I haven't seen him in a couple of years.
“It would seem that an elderly woman who alone raised three children should be bathed in their attention and care for the rest of the years. They must be there to help and bring their grandchildren. But that's not happening. The neighbor lives alone, has few contacts, occasionally goes to the store.”
“I felt sorry for this woman who had lived a difficult life. Her relationship with the children seemed normal and it was completely unclear how they could leave her alone. But one day I finally got an answer to my question.”
Returning home on a weekend, I met Artem, the eldest son of Nina Georgievna. We talked for a while, and I ventured to ask why neither he nor his brother nor his sister came to see his mother. Artem's explanation got me thinking. Who knows, maybe I’ll be a lonely old man. ?
“It turned out that Nina Georgievna has a complex character. She is very demanding, not only to men, but also to her own children. Strict upbringing left a mark on their relationship.”
“At first, children considered rigor to be the norm, respected and even feared their mother. But when she retired, she became even more picky, just unbearable. It was impossible to please her, as a result of which the children began to distance themselves from the parent. “The less we see each other, the less she scolds me,” Artem sadly concluded.
“From the outside, the neighbor’s pickiness was imperceptible, but the closest people felt it for themselves. An overly demanding woman herself alienated her relatives, for which she pays to this day. I think dissatisfaction with relatives is the most obvious sign that a person will spend the rest of his days alone, Irina shared her thoughts.
In this story it is difficult to find the extreme, but it happens all the time. Without tolerance and compromise, any family relations are doomed. And if a person makes the life of his loved ones unbearable, then sooner or later he will be alone, without the necessary support.
Often parents continue to control the life of an adult child, making him hostage to their complexes and hopes. They demand, and demand is the way to nowhere. A good relationship is possible when both sides move towards each other. It is important for everyone to make their own move.
