What to do if your daughter refuses to live with her mother

Many men are in no hurry to get involved with a woman who already has children. And it is believed that this happens because a man simply does not want to drag someone else’s child (or even more so several). We need to provide such a large family. Although often the problem is not so much the money, How to find a common language with a child.

Today's edition. "Site" He will share the story of a man who wants to improve relations with the daughter of his beloved woman, but does not find understanding. Will he be able to find a way out of this difficult situation?



At the age of 29, I am seriously thinking about starting a family. There is a girl with whom I want to create this very family, but her 10-year-old daughter is against it. I am not able to find a common language with this little girl”.

“The other day she said she didn’t want me in their house anymore. I gave in to emotions and really packed up. Moved to live with me. But Anna and I still want to live together. What should I do? ?

“I know I have to talk to the girl. I have to try to change her mind. Ani can't do that. I have served in the army for more than 10 years and I am far from child psychology. I can hardly find the right approach. Does it mean that I have to ask the child for permission to live with her mother?



Psychologists recognize that this problem is faced in many families. The child simply does not want to share his mother with a person who does not know, who, in fact, is a stranger to him. And in an instant, changing this point of view with some magical word will not work.



It takes time for the child to accept the change. He must make sure that adults are firm and determined in their intentions. He must understand that the changes that are happening and will happen will change everything for the better, not for the worse.

Therefore, Denis should behave more adultly, and not leave with things as soon as he is told “something is wrong”. And it is very bad that decisions are not made by two adults, but by a 10-year-old child.



So the question is, do you think Denis and Anna really want to be together? Maybe they should go back to this point and think it over.

As for a confidential conversation with a girl, experts advise telling about such decisions together. It is worth paying attention to the experiences of the baby, her grievances and fears. Perhaps you should ask what worries her the most that she fears. And try to dispel those fears.



Despite the fact that she is only 10 years old, this girl is a full-fledged member of the family. Therefore, it is necessary to tell her about plans for the future, about how the life of the family will proceed, how everyone will take care of and support each other.

Perhaps, at first, the girl will perceive the newfound “father” in bayonets. But that's understandable, because this man It wasn't her choice.And her mother. And here the child must be treated with understanding.



A strong union is a difficult business where everyone has to make concessions. But it depends on adults whether the child will be able to feel comfortable and confident, whether he will feel care and attention to his person, whether his life with a new person next to him will be better.