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Why school forces parents to study with children and how to deal with it
Age from 6 to 17 years is the most pleasant and carefree time in the life of every person. But during these years, you have to go to school properly. The modern education system is designed in such a way that school-life Often it turns into a difficult ordeal for him, which cannot be dealt with without outside help.
So today's editorial office. "Site" He offers to talk about the school system, which is hopelessly outdated, but continues to spoil the lives of modern children and their parents. As a result, moms and dads have to study together with their children, helping them do homework.
When my daughter began to approach the 6th anniversary, it seemed to me that she was completely ready for school. I devoted a lot of time to its development: we went to concerts, exhibitions, master classes, traveled together, says the young mother.
“It left its mark. Masha grew curious, was not afraid to try new things, read, drew, wrote stories. This delighted others, and I was sure that in school a child with such data will not have problems.”
After reading the advice, where psychologists advise to shift the responsibility for learning to the child, I decided to do so. Not doing my daughter’s homework seemed like a matter of course. But already at the first parental meeting, the teacher dissatisfied with the statement that the children simply need to make an additional 3-4 prescriptions at home.
It turned out that first-graders are evaluated not by curiosity or friendliness, but by handwriting and reading speed. Therefore, each parent present was given the task to train these 2 skills as much as possible. What about the advice I have read? What is important is not the number of hours behind the book, but understanding the essence of what you read and sincere interest?
“Where will it be more useful: where the child perceives reading as a desirable and exciting activity, or where the mother stands overhead with a stopwatch, forcing to read a boring primer? The writing wasn't any better. A few hours later, Masha whispered, “I hate Russian.” I decided to stop suffering, especially since my daughter could write.”
“Although it is said that there are no homework assignments in first grade, there are. And even if the child of three tasks will perform as many as two, then at the next parental meeting you will be hinted that the child does not have time. As a result, parents have to get into school. The child has to choose between home and sleep.”
“Not surprisingly, I did my first homework in first grade. I had to tinker with a similar handwriting, but in the end everything was done perfectly, and the child slept. This has become commonplace over time.”
“The problem came out later. Mary accepted the fact that I would always give her a straw. She lost her sense of responsibility because she knew her mother would come and do it herself. Instead of helping my daughter prioritize, I was solving problems at the last minute, which wasn’t the smartest thing to do.
“One day I decided to check her math notebook. I was wondering why Mary always gets bad grades. My attention was drawn to a correctly solved problem, which was crossed out by the teacher. Below was a deuce and the caption: “Listen carefully to the teacher.”
To my astonished question in Viber, the teacher replied, Because the decision had to be written down briefly in the textbook. There is no need to write anything in the notebook.
“It turns out that the child did more than necessary, puffed, painted, wasted time and effort, and received an unsatisfactory assessment. That's a good lesson, you can't say anything. And soon I realized that this is not the fault of a particular teacher. That's the rule of all teachers. You have no right to make mistakes in school.”
“Why study at all?” I once asked my daughter. “Learn not to be nailed,” my compliant girl replied confidently. At that moment, I finally realized that we had had enough. Indeed, why study when experts unanimously claim that 95% of school knowledge is irrelevant?
“In industrial society, such a school is justified. Calls to class, discipline, unquestioning obedience to the teacher, respect for the authority of elders - all this was necessary at that time. The school educated the masses and raised workers ready for a difficult life.”
“Today, we live in an information age where it is irrelevant to raise workers. The modern school should teach to search and process information, evaluate and analyze, think critically. But there's nothing really like that. And new technologies in learning are poorly used. Moreover, teachers are obliged to follow the program, are forced to fill out endless pieces of paper and worry that they too are not “nailed” from above.
Even in the last century, Edgar Dale in the course of many studies curiousityIt is also called the “Pyramid of Learning”. It shows that in the head of a person after 2 weeks remains: 10% of what was read, 20% of what was heard, 30% of what was seen, 70% of what was spoken, 90% of what was spoken and done.
“In school, however, pupils often only listen and read. The most inefficient teaching methods are used here. Therefore, even the most able student in such conditions with the greatest diligence will not be able to remember much.”
What to do: We ended up sending Mary to a private school. Yeah, it costs us money. I had to give up many trips and reckless purchases. But we stopped worrying that our daughter would be killed. Although we considered other options such as home or distance learning. Who should do the same? Someone who is difficult in an ordinary school and who wants to move at their own pace.
Of course. modern It has many disadvantages, but it is difficult to unequivocally answer whether parents need to help the child with school. Most likely, without this help can not do, but do not shift all responsibility for the result on themselves.
Let him learn by himself, as long as school life is interesting to him and helps him to believe in himself. In this case, the child must have not only the right to error, but also the right to rest. School should not be allowed to be a substitute for life, because there are many other important things. But perhaps the most important thing is that the child always feels support and love from parents, then he will cope with everything.
So today's editorial office. "Site" He offers to talk about the school system, which is hopelessly outdated, but continues to spoil the lives of modern children and their parents. As a result, moms and dads have to study together with their children, helping them do homework.
When my daughter began to approach the 6th anniversary, it seemed to me that she was completely ready for school. I devoted a lot of time to its development: we went to concerts, exhibitions, master classes, traveled together, says the young mother.
“It left its mark. Masha grew curious, was not afraid to try new things, read, drew, wrote stories. This delighted others, and I was sure that in school a child with such data will not have problems.”
After reading the advice, where psychologists advise to shift the responsibility for learning to the child, I decided to do so. Not doing my daughter’s homework seemed like a matter of course. But already at the first parental meeting, the teacher dissatisfied with the statement that the children simply need to make an additional 3-4 prescriptions at home.
It turned out that first-graders are evaluated not by curiosity or friendliness, but by handwriting and reading speed. Therefore, each parent present was given the task to train these 2 skills as much as possible. What about the advice I have read? What is important is not the number of hours behind the book, but understanding the essence of what you read and sincere interest?
“Where will it be more useful: where the child perceives reading as a desirable and exciting activity, or where the mother stands overhead with a stopwatch, forcing to read a boring primer? The writing wasn't any better. A few hours later, Masha whispered, “I hate Russian.” I decided to stop suffering, especially since my daughter could write.”
“Although it is said that there are no homework assignments in first grade, there are. And even if the child of three tasks will perform as many as two, then at the next parental meeting you will be hinted that the child does not have time. As a result, parents have to get into school. The child has to choose between home and sleep.”
“Not surprisingly, I did my first homework in first grade. I had to tinker with a similar handwriting, but in the end everything was done perfectly, and the child slept. This has become commonplace over time.”
“The problem came out later. Mary accepted the fact that I would always give her a straw. She lost her sense of responsibility because she knew her mother would come and do it herself. Instead of helping my daughter prioritize, I was solving problems at the last minute, which wasn’t the smartest thing to do.
“One day I decided to check her math notebook. I was wondering why Mary always gets bad grades. My attention was drawn to a correctly solved problem, which was crossed out by the teacher. Below was a deuce and the caption: “Listen carefully to the teacher.”
To my astonished question in Viber, the teacher replied, Because the decision had to be written down briefly in the textbook. There is no need to write anything in the notebook.
“It turns out that the child did more than necessary, puffed, painted, wasted time and effort, and received an unsatisfactory assessment. That's a good lesson, you can't say anything. And soon I realized that this is not the fault of a particular teacher. That's the rule of all teachers. You have no right to make mistakes in school.”
“Why study at all?” I once asked my daughter. “Learn not to be nailed,” my compliant girl replied confidently. At that moment, I finally realized that we had had enough. Indeed, why study when experts unanimously claim that 95% of school knowledge is irrelevant?
“In industrial society, such a school is justified. Calls to class, discipline, unquestioning obedience to the teacher, respect for the authority of elders - all this was necessary at that time. The school educated the masses and raised workers ready for a difficult life.”
“Today, we live in an information age where it is irrelevant to raise workers. The modern school should teach to search and process information, evaluate and analyze, think critically. But there's nothing really like that. And new technologies in learning are poorly used. Moreover, teachers are obliged to follow the program, are forced to fill out endless pieces of paper and worry that they too are not “nailed” from above.
Even in the last century, Edgar Dale in the course of many studies curiousityIt is also called the “Pyramid of Learning”. It shows that in the head of a person after 2 weeks remains: 10% of what was read, 20% of what was heard, 30% of what was seen, 70% of what was spoken, 90% of what was spoken and done.
“In school, however, pupils often only listen and read. The most inefficient teaching methods are used here. Therefore, even the most able student in such conditions with the greatest diligence will not be able to remember much.”
What to do: We ended up sending Mary to a private school. Yeah, it costs us money. I had to give up many trips and reckless purchases. But we stopped worrying that our daughter would be killed. Although we considered other options such as home or distance learning. Who should do the same? Someone who is difficult in an ordinary school and who wants to move at their own pace.
Of course. modern It has many disadvantages, but it is difficult to unequivocally answer whether parents need to help the child with school. Most likely, without this help can not do, but do not shift all responsibility for the result on themselves.
Let him learn by himself, as long as school life is interesting to him and helps him to believe in himself. In this case, the child must have not only the right to error, but also the right to rest. School should not be allowed to be a substitute for life, because there are many other important things. But perhaps the most important thing is that the child always feels support and love from parents, then he will cope with everything.
