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What to do with a stepfather who asks from the village to a clean apartment
We got into our hands a very interesting, albeit sad story. The story stepfatherOr rather, the moral dilemma of his stepdaughter. Another interesting letter from another reader who doesn’t know what to do.
We all get older with time. This is inevitable and will happen to everyone. Of course, I would like an older person to not need anything: there are enough problems without it. But what if such a burden is unaffordable at the moment and what exactly to do in such a situation? On behalf of the writer.
I am now in the middle of two fires. I am a single mother with a small daughter. She needs a good upbringing, a huge amount of attention and childhood. On the other hand, I have an old stepfather who is 84 and lives in a rickety house in the village. Just so you understand, the average age of a resident of that village is +-70 years old.
I don't remember my real father. Only sometimes I vaguely remember that my young mother was always sad and tense. Dad drank heavily and beat mom. I learned this as an adult girl. Why not earlier? When I was 8 and my older brother was 12, my father left home. He took nothing with him, just disappeared.
Two years later, my mother met another man and loved him with all her heart. I remember him, a stranger, with a mustache and wide pants of thick fabric. At first, my brother and I treated this man very cautiously, even hostilely, and it is understandable why. However, as it turned out, Uncle Yura was not a bad person.
Since his mother really loved him, and he, in turn, and her, it is not necessary to say that the house finally reigned silence. Adults, working people, came only in the evening from work and did housework. Uncle Yura loved hiking and often went out with his brother in the forest, in nature. He taught him many tricks of a young tourist, gave him a knife and a new compass.
Thus, everyone loved Uncle Yura. Somehow I couldn't. Maybe because I wasn’t interested in going anywhere. Because of my age, I didn’t want to change. Everyone saw it, but they didn't. After a while, the brother was taken to the army, and then he went abroad forever.
Now I have 3 nieces with whom we often communicate on the Internet. Their father is well settled and can afford a lot.
Now for the sad. When my mother died, I lived in another city. He and his father moved to the village and started a farm. Her departure was a heavy blow for Uncle Yura, and since then he has been unable to get out of bed. Thanks to the neighbors: they bought him everything he needed, even though they changed their seventh decade. And thanks to my brother, he was the one who sent them the money.
I was with him recently: darkness and terror. The house is skewed, but the room is clean. Another thanks to the neighbors. Uncle Yura doesn't get up, but at least he doesn't hurt. Saw me, barely holding back tears, hugged me. And then he started asking me to live. And that's too much for me. You see, I'm not a bad person either. I want him to be comfortable.
But I have a daughter in my apartment, I work. In addition, I am still interested in men, I do not take them to the house, of course, but I simply cannot spend all my free time on a lying person, even if not quite a stranger. There is a brother who understands everything and is ready to take his stepfather, but doctors do not allow him long flights.
Now the cherry on the cake: we offered a nursing home. Hearing this, Uncle Yura only cried and flatly refused to continue the conversation. That doesn't suit him. So it's either me or nothing. I don't know what to say, I'm confused. Now I could use good advice that will help to understand this difficult situation.
We all get older with time. This is inevitable and will happen to everyone. Of course, I would like an older person to not need anything: there are enough problems without it. But what if such a burden is unaffordable at the moment and what exactly to do in such a situation? On behalf of the writer.
I am now in the middle of two fires. I am a single mother with a small daughter. She needs a good upbringing, a huge amount of attention and childhood. On the other hand, I have an old stepfather who is 84 and lives in a rickety house in the village. Just so you understand, the average age of a resident of that village is +-70 years old.
I don't remember my real father. Only sometimes I vaguely remember that my young mother was always sad and tense. Dad drank heavily and beat mom. I learned this as an adult girl. Why not earlier? When I was 8 and my older brother was 12, my father left home. He took nothing with him, just disappeared.
Two years later, my mother met another man and loved him with all her heart. I remember him, a stranger, with a mustache and wide pants of thick fabric. At first, my brother and I treated this man very cautiously, even hostilely, and it is understandable why. However, as it turned out, Uncle Yura was not a bad person.
Since his mother really loved him, and he, in turn, and her, it is not necessary to say that the house finally reigned silence. Adults, working people, came only in the evening from work and did housework. Uncle Yura loved hiking and often went out with his brother in the forest, in nature. He taught him many tricks of a young tourist, gave him a knife and a new compass.
Thus, everyone loved Uncle Yura. Somehow I couldn't. Maybe because I wasn’t interested in going anywhere. Because of my age, I didn’t want to change. Everyone saw it, but they didn't. After a while, the brother was taken to the army, and then he went abroad forever.
Now I have 3 nieces with whom we often communicate on the Internet. Their father is well settled and can afford a lot.
Now for the sad. When my mother died, I lived in another city. He and his father moved to the village and started a farm. Her departure was a heavy blow for Uncle Yura, and since then he has been unable to get out of bed. Thanks to the neighbors: they bought him everything he needed, even though they changed their seventh decade. And thanks to my brother, he was the one who sent them the money.
I was with him recently: darkness and terror. The house is skewed, but the room is clean. Another thanks to the neighbors. Uncle Yura doesn't get up, but at least he doesn't hurt. Saw me, barely holding back tears, hugged me. And then he started asking me to live. And that's too much for me. You see, I'm not a bad person either. I want him to be comfortable.
But I have a daughter in my apartment, I work. In addition, I am still interested in men, I do not take them to the house, of course, but I simply cannot spend all my free time on a lying person, even if not quite a stranger. There is a brother who understands everything and is ready to take his stepfather, but doctors do not allow him long flights.
Now the cherry on the cake: we offered a nursing home. Hearing this, Uncle Yura only cried and flatly refused to continue the conversation. That doesn't suit him. So it's either me or nothing. I don't know what to say, I'm confused. Now I could use good advice that will help to understand this difficult situation.
