How to explain to adult children their unwillingness to arrange them a feast

Stories children and parents They are always taken very personally, because those that others are perhaps our closest and most important people in life. Everyone wants each other well and tries to stay as close as possible: go to visit, call more often, be aware of all the news.



But sometimes it happens that someone begins to simply use their position and be too intrusive. Perhaps consciously, and perhaps not consciously, that they are crossing personal boundaries. One way or another, the situation may get heated. So what do we do then?

I am the father of two children and three grandchildren. Pensioner. I am 64 years old and have given 38 of them to the sea. I worked as a sailor, then I was promoted to rank, then more and more. I will not hide that we managed to postpone a little for a full old age, but how else, when such a crisis in the world? But everything in order.



My children are Elizabeth 32 and Igor 34. They have children, that is, my grandchildren: Julia, Sasha and Fedya. Tell me, good old man, that you brought everyone up? I don't think so. Most of the time they didn't see me, I repeat, I was at sea. My late wife carried everything on her hump: the school, the institute, and even the birth of some grandchildren.

I won’t say that I am a sentimental person, but sometimes I lack a family. We've been home, too, yes. But is that good for people like me? I was immediately drawn to the sea. On the shore I drank, quarreled with my wife, although I loved her and even broke down on the children. Although I don’t consider myself a tyrant, even some of my neighbors were worse than me, and their only concern is to go to work and go to bed.



I will not paint my adventures here like some literary hero, I will say only one thing – I have seen a lot of interesting things. But since childhood I hated old people who teach other lives. So I can keep my mouth shut.

My ex-wife introduced herself 5 years ago after a short illness. I've never had a drink in my life. I think she was done with hard work and bad thoughts. The doctors say their version, but I don’t remember it anymore. So after the funeral, my kids swore to see me. They said, “Never again.” You were a bad husband and father and we don't want to know you.




Well, we have to move on. I eventually found a new woman 22 years younger than me. I don’t see anything strange in this, and no one else’s opinion cares at all. We bought a small house outside the city and have lived there ever since. She grows all sorts of vegetables on the plot, and I don't know anything about that. But, in principle, everything suited me until recently.



A month or so ago, I met my kids. Me and Yana (my woman). We talked, sat in a cafe, and everyone became friends with each other. I was very happy that I finally made up with the children, even if it was a little late. But Jana seemed to be more excited. Called everyone over. Well, they came the next night. At first it is official and cultural, and then with songs and dances. At least they didn't take their grandchildren.



Now, here, come, count, in a day. Not that they eat me (though not without it), but there is no peace. I can go to the store or somewhere else, come, and they are already watching TV with Yana. They look happy. At first I thought, maybe they want money or like to ruin it. I don't mind, I owe them a lot. But no.

They come and dance until morning without drinking. I can’t sleep, I can’t turn on the TV, I have to get up and go for a walk around the station or beyond. Well, yesterday we decided to make my grandson Fedka's birthday. We have! It's like a five-year-old has no place more interesting than to hang out with his grandfather. And guests.



Dear readers, please help me with this advice. How can I stop these family holidays with my own children? I really don't want to lose them again, but my patience is running out. I'm thinking maybe we should pay off, or let Yana think something? They seem to have found a common language with her. But I can't do this anymore. "Site"Help me out!



This situation, in fact, not so unambiguous. Adult children love a father who did not pay attention to them, which is of course good. The problem is that older people also have the right to privacy and peace. Unfortunately, we can’t help with the advice, but maybe our readers have something to say?