The princes in the mud

In society there is an ideal picture of the development of relations:

I am interested - It translates indifference



He is making efforts to expand both business – She watches

He flatters, pays attention and raises on a pedestal – It is inferior

The tale ends with "they lived happily ever after and died in one day." And as it happens in life if the severity of the attention from one partner from another unusually strong? Such advances are jealous, they become the plots of the novels and are often associated with the concept of "fatal love".

Personality, prone to idealize other people, circumstances, things are perceives as perfect. Actually she needs something perfect, to patch the gaps of their own traumatic experiences. If something is perfect for me, it will be able to fulfill all my desires. I will no longer experience pain, betrayal, rejection. With this I'll be happy. Eternal happiness.

But to live in the illusion all life is possible only in psychotic States. In all other cases sooner or later there is a collision with reality. This man is the most common. It can also be unhappy, angry, sad, frightened and, worst of all, to be happy without me.

Psychological defense mechanism: displacement at first working properly. All unwanted and instantly forgettable. Deliberately forgotten. In the unconscious is the accumulation to a certain level. Especially fast this happens when people begin to live together. From reality, which is constantly at hand, is not so easy to dismiss.

And then suddenly there is the realization: not only is She not perfect, she's just a monster because you made me believe in its perfection. Offense for cheating (which is actually delusion) pulls the pedestal out from under one that was hoisted on him.

Now she's ousted. But the offense calls for revenge. And since everything that was previously repressed, comes back, reasons to ridicule its former perfection is tens.

He bullies and name – calling- She is suffering (he's just tired, he will definitely change)

He has – She is suffering (before we had everything perfect and it'll come)

He kills (physically herself, or her faith in herself as a person)...





So ends this tale in this life.

People (more often it is still women) many times in the past such cycles with multiple men (and sometimes have the strength and sanity to get out of this prison with this person, waiting to get into a new one) blaming of the men themselves, karma, ancestral scenario. But why is drawn again and again to get into such a relationship? What can they get?

If we ignore what happens after the devaluation, idealization – this is the maximum of attention, worship and feeling of being loved and needed. Something sorely lacking in that woman in myself.

The reason, as usual, lie in childhood. Search parents that kept all of this in the past, and attempt to get lost on who was projected parent image.

As a result, I want to say that idealization and devaluation always come in pairs. The praises sung to someone or something not from a sincere recognition (which is possible only if a sufficient study of the object), always give way to blasphemy and persecution. Already at the beginning of the relationship in this way is almost always possible to predict their development. Not fabulous, alas. published

 

Author: Tatyana Demyanenko

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: //www.b17.ru/article/32926/