Is the girl married – singing songs and marry – tears ledac fits this saying to my family life. More than enough psychological violence to me in my attempt number two. Seduced by kindness and generosity (by the way, I thought) and ended up in a network of sophisticated manipulator. Such as it is, good people feel, all their weaknesses and hooks that you can keep. To feel what they feel, but act always in their interests, even when doing supposedly good for you.
I remember very well the look with a squint after I was done “feat” – cooked dinner or morning coffee.What you do every day, it's no “thank you”, and that once a month, it is with the expectation of praise to the heavens.
The music I listened to, he didn't like. Even if I listened in the headphones, he realized that it sounds and carry on. I remember once sat in my car, and I sang Vaenga. “Smoke one again, Smoking again, mom, again...” the Mood was great, I sang along. The first three minutes he listened. Then he said to stop the car and began to make the brain. “I want to be one, right? Kick this shit? The Queen was found! Find yourself a convict, he will be the guitar you strum the dregs: “my Dear, good...” these Words aren't enough? Come on, listen to without me.” The door slammed shut. He's hurt, almost fled to his home. I'm puzzled by what had happened, tried to catch up, to explain. “If you don't understand, we have nothing to say.” He always threatened to break when something is not liked.
Then I realized that to live in this impossible. I was under the illusion that tantrum on an empty place random. Everything will change, I thought, not wanting to admit that it is a personality disorder, and she passes.
Nothing has changed and did not pass. He didn't like my job. No. Neither my career on the basis of HRM, nor my business. Now I realize that all this could not like him. I represented everything that he couldn't do in life. By that time I had already received two higher education, he had no one. I am at the top of the career ladder, he was a worker. I ventured into his own business, he still an employee. But then I could not grasp why I was so severely pressed.
I thought: “Here it is, just, come on! Do it!”.But he knew not, and hard to drag me down, because upstairs he could not.
Such low self-esteem after this relationship, I have never had. At high actual achievements I was absolutely crushed, I thought my work worthless and useless, in his words, and even hesitate to say who I am.
Many can remember such episodes. I think he didn't like anything in me. I was not feminine enough, bad on me, not so smart, and so on. Why was I with a man who, as I understand it now, never loved me? Because, since infancy, I had no experience of living with a loved one that I loved and accepted.What he did with me, he was familiar, but so was me mother. Not choosing this consciously, anyway you get there, which is your unconscious.Until you grow as a person. Yet not Mature spiritually.
While at least partially freed from the put scenarios. You can't understand what is respect, love, value, intimacy, understanding, responsibility. You'd think that anything bad happen to you. You just never know what is good. You wouldn't even believe it.And the soul suffers. She knows that you're not living your life.
Feeling now, knowing myself, I want to sincerely thank him for what he did to me.The pain is a high-speed Elevator to themselves. Stay with him, I'd never heard that, I'd lived in the famous scenario of the victim.But the pain from his betrayal and his relationship to me was so strong that it forced to Wake up.
I am thankful to God that we are not together. I am grateful that not spent decades on awareness.I'm glad I went this school in a short time. I am grateful to him, because he was himself. I'm grateful that I can now live and love.
Author: Lilia Ahremchik
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! © econet