I'm tired. Tired in the morning to open my eyes in the hope that today, today I will be happy.
It is difficult, when a week-by-week Wake up in the HS condition (gloomy compost).
Tired to smile at the mirror, expecting that the body will send a signal to the brain, and he also will "smile". According to the technique of Michael Chekhov, where the emotions adjust to the body. Smile. Rejoice. Rejoice, I say!
Friends kept saying the magic words "score" and offered to have a drink and relax. Didn't work. Yes, and the body refused to be subjected to intoxication and to cross off another day from life. Although figure this life at all? The sun is shining, the food is delicious, legs, hands moving. Rejoice! Re-read the memo about the number of people who have no roof over your head and that two days did not eat. Read virtual "wise men" telling everyone to go to work in the factory in order to "get the dope", or stories about "our ancestors in the war."
One toxic thought can impress all positive initiatives.
But I am not accustomed to give up without a fight (even if most of the battle under the blanket). Decided to look for a magical way to achieve happiness on their own. Without antidepressants. Without drugs.
"Fall in love" and "take on things" (thus arranging his adrenaline and cortisolemia racing), too, must be attributed to drugs.What is happiness?
It us advertised, wish on birthday, sell millions of assets.
In women's magazines suggest to wear skirts for the twisting of the torsion fields, practice shopping, to cling to the man and at his expense, to make sense of their existence.
In books on positive psychology rely on affirmations and visualization. To cover up the house "treasure maps" and issue in the space of all "I the most charming and attractive".Another option is to change lives for the better — total "raschlenenie space" and the sweep of social relations.
I have written several articles, after she got rid of half of this stuff, pumped W.., and smoothed "energy vampires" in the environment.
Became better, but...Maybe we need to clarify the subject of the search?
I formulated for myself, that happiness is a positive emotional state experienced as the result of achieve their plans and dreams.
Serious books are recommended to make lists, to be happy, crossing out line after line. I for a long time it was fun.I'm maniac of lists and planning. I wasn't just a notebook with a list of cases and not app to-do list. I've studied all the articles of "life is interesting!" about the programs and applications to improve personal efficiency. Distributed cases according to the method of GTD in OmniFocus, taking into account the categorisation of Kairos. Hang the leaves on a huge cork Board on the principle of Kanban (duplicating them in digital format in the app Trello). Dangerous form my fascination acquired when I broke all the tasks in the spheres and connected the app Asana with GoogleCalendar.
Friend raised the alarm, when I began to enjoy flying unicorns (in Asana in strikeouts made the task of flying unicorns. Look, we all have our weaknesses.Everything from the head is unloaded, the unicorns fly. Things are done. Wheels spinning, the rubber rubs ©. And in the morning all the same. There's no power, and the person is not Ulybka.
Something still didn't work.Not those dreams? Not the plans? Technology bad? Used incorrectly? What am I missing?Context. I realized that I missed the context.
Technology can be good, and to apply it correctly, but it doesn't work in the wrong context. It is foolish to sit in a boat in the woods, to paddle and wonder that will not move. Or moving suspiciously slowly — not as much as before.
People are in different resource in different States. And when you're "depressed something" will help the affirmations and smile, SIP your favourite tea (coffee, cognac) from the beautiful mugs (pots, tubs). In other words, a small dose of "positivism" will help. If the system is a serious problem, unconstructed or broken processes, simple tools will not help.
The process can break due to internal or external transformations is the loss of a loved one, a midlife crisis, dismissal. Talking to people, experiencing transformation, I realized that there are different levels of transformation. Like in a computer game: at a particular level are available certain tools. First level: two tools. Second level: five tools. On the first level, you may see the potential tools, but they are deactivated. "Take" them will not work — the effect will be.
Even if earlier you could use the tool and it worked, it does not mean that it will work now. The context could change, you could be on a different level, where the tool is "deactivated". This is especially frustrating. As people at other levels who are trying to convince you of the effectiveness of sun and cake. Sun and cake "activated" for you! For you!!! And for those who are on another level, to dig. Xia. Dig.
Everything from the beginning. How I define happiness?
"Positive emotional state experienced as a result of achieving your plans and dreams."
What if I'm not going to associate this state with the "achieving dreams"? Just focus on positive emotional state?This idea has led to the fact that I made two lists — what inspires me and what makes energy.
Tried to remove everything that steals energy. When planning Affairs has given special attention to ensure that there were enough classes, and a number of meetings with people from whom I get a positive emotional state. Turned the focus on States, not on fact. The plan of happiness. An increase in the level of joy.
And again insight. "Positive emotional state". Who is responsible for "emotional state"? Who regulates this important process in the body?Brain!
He is the CEO of a small factory for the production of chemical substances called "human". Fell in love with? You of endorphins and adrenaline to sleep didn't want "heart rhymes wymusi" and multiply by the day.
Where are the instructions for self-production of opiates (crossed out), hallucinogens (crossed out), oxitocine, dopamine, endorphin and serotonin?Brain. What the hell?
I learned that we have in mind not one brain, but three: the old — not very — and generally fresh. And what most of our reactions is responsible the old brain. Who would not know that we live in cities and communicate over the Internet. The old brain, blinded veteran, shooting at non-existent enemies and hears the sounds of explosions when popping a bottle of champagne.
The old soldier can understand. He us trying to keep us alive. And therefore gives all that is necessary for survival. Scary? Here's a chemicals to escape or fight. Ate? Here's a corroborating positive chemicals. Eat, Bunny, or die. Brain-grandmother.
What should I do? Maybe to load different classes, in response to which the old brain chemical throws odobritel? To construct a chemical heaven?And then I read about the experiment with Paradise "universe 25". Paradise created mice: food and drink in unlimited quantities, no danger — hail and multiply!
Than they initially did. But after some time the colony had reached a stage of death, because the mouse refused to participate in social relations. That is, happy individuals did not develop, did not breed, not raising the offspring, and did not behave like a mouse, but as the most natural pigs and goats. And suffocated all, of course.
Eeee. Wait a minute. If the concept of "infinite happiness" such an ignominious end, why we are so actively told that this is the desired goal?Seriously. Why each of iron tell us about happiness (either from Mayo or of toilet bowl cleaner), the girls akorat happiness "marriage", men the "tree-house-son"? We all life provide "prescriptions for success", leading to "happiness".
Often implying that we have to work and suffer to this "happiness" to. Busy that a man was running in the reactions of fight or flight, responding to every shout of the chief as a threat to life; not leave time to stop and look around. Suppressed any "escape attempt", as in the movie "the Truman Show".Why, if infinite happiness is harmful, we aggressively "sell" this idea?
Profitable. It's beneficial to someone. To create a game where people will behave a certain way. To convince them that happiness should be a constant. In the moment of feeling "not happy" people have raised the anxiety, and they would be looking for a way to "become happy": to buy a nice new car, get plastic surgery, get married, get a promotion... And to believe that it is their own choice! What an elegant transformation of people into "suckers". Beauty. Where now is heard the laughter of the villain.
100% happiness deadly. If mankind was constantly happy, it would have died out.We are NOT CREATED for happiness
.Wow. When it came to me, I ran shouting: "Everywhere deception! Happy mouse is doomed!" Even unicorns its abandoned. Still do not understand how to live and why. But no, now my lack of understanding went to another level. For too long I lived in the paradigm of mandatory absolute happiness, and then the change of coordinates. Reboot the system.
Hmm. If infinite happiness is deadly, it is not necessary to set a goal "to be happy", and get upset if you don't feel happy.It's okay to be happy SOMETIMES.
But if we are not created for happiness, for what?
If we talk the evolutionary and for all mankind, we are created for development. For life. And what specific individual?To aspire to? What to identify your personal mission and raise the banner?
Success? Who determines the criteria? And who benefits from this concept?
Procreation? Biological task. We are born in this society, at this time, in this body.
For what, then?For development. For life.Only for his life, and not one that someone invented for us. Everybody knows that we "live in a clean copy", but somehow the years of hard play imposed roles.
Believe that can still make "live for yourself". You have time?
Because we are created not only for life but for death. How your excuses are strong in front of Her face? How everything you do, much to Her face?We have no choice — to die or not to die. But we have a choice — to live or not to live.Live yourself, be yourself — it's the coolest thing now. The manifestation of the soul. Creativity. Where there are no rules, criteria of ideality, markers, installed from the outside.
Stop. Look around. Ask questions. Hear the quiet inner voice. Cease to run after external hoping to get a "dose". Learn to make it yourself.
There is no universal solution. After all, we are all different. For myself, I realized that the answer may be found through experience and observation.
Not through reading books on positive psychology, and through action and response.Through the questions:Is this my dream?Consciously I'm doing something or I am running in the team of the "old brain"?Do I believe that "die of embarrassment or failure", if you will do something? Or feel the boundaries of existence through actions?Whose game am I playing? Who cares?How I lived today?
A lot of new things, inventing tools on the go. Meet resistance — both internal and external. We often resist the new, being slaves of habit. So I decided to move the boundaries of their own reality by acting, not by thinking. Try to acquire the habit of doing something new for no apparent reason. Just for the knowledge.We can do a lot and know a lot, but often do not. Prepared the perfect set of circumstances, "magic pendel".
Got tired of waiting. Started a separate instagram and every day you do something new or forgotten old, conscious or scary, silly or very stupid. And observe the sensations: if it is easy – so it's my comfort zone; if it is difficult – Hey, the border of my reality and beliefs about themselves. Re-learning what you like and what not. It's amazing how many ideas about themselves in fact ceased to be true. Want to shake things up a bit and feel the world anew? All bold and curious are invited to join.Because of these changes and cognition is not important the size or the steepness, but just the fact of their regular "work".
Action — response. Feeling "their", plans changed. Try to build them not of abstract social "ideal", and real.
From actions, from which "inside junket" in the words of Slava Polunin.
Issues, actions, and awareness is only the beginning of the path to himself, to the disclosure of the soul and the search for meaning.
Everyone decides why and how to live.
Why are you here? Experience the narcotic feeling from the rat race and blind consumption? Or to prove themselves through actions? To be or to seem? To consume or to create?Don't know where I will lead this search. But for now, my plans for life are:
Author: Love Ignatieff
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind - together we change the world! ©