Intimacy. In a word where so much trepidation and vulnerability.
What is it? To give a comprehensive definition and sort through, I don't. Perhaps proximity is lack of distance.
The distance that we build with people, the fear of judgment and misunderstanding. We all carry through life the images that have built up since childhood. Carry them as protective armor, thinking that we love it, and so not allowing ourselves to be different. And only with their friends, with whom distance is reduced to distance hug, we can be anything. We can be weak, angry, sarcastic, judgmental, pathetic, insecure and uninteresting. But most importantly, they can be shamelessly happy.
What is the difference close? The fact that they were most of the expectations that veiled the eyes of the mind.
We expect that we will never leave that we will be accepted in any form and will love regardless of what will support us, believe in us that we will be in priority, we will pay attention to a lot more then.
Yes, I know, saying that we should remove expectations and take the world as it is, not only such as you want. And so you kind of learned. But the trouble is, to be objective, it is necessary to increase the distance, for great is seen at a distance, but face to face ... well you know the rest.
And as soon as the relationship enters the stage of "proximity" as a wave of the magic wand the picture changes again and we want to see only what we expect to see. And when expectations are not fulfilled, time after time, day after day, despite all the explanations and exhortations, closeness begins to be painful and we... increasing distance, the path closing up holes in the armor and exposing the gun.But my family are distinguished by the fact that no one can hurt more.
Scars in the soul created by those we love. And if only to hurt... After some battles, you can recover the years and never recover. Words thrown in anger from a loved one penetrate into the heart, plunging the world around in the deep, and broke tears. And well, if you have not forgotten how to cry. Then at least you can cry them. But there are some words that stuck with splinters and give the recurrences for any deterioration of the climate in relations. Yes there are words... Thoughts. Intimacy is communicating on the level of thoughts, when the words merely a Convention. A person can be over several thousand kilometers, but that thought badly of you, and you're already hurt. And we beat each other for their unfulfilled expectations.
But here's the thing. We, too, someone close... Our children, friends, loved ones. The more such people in life, the richer people. It's a great honor, but also a huge responsibility.
Have you ever thought about it. Entering into the territory of another person, it would be good to understand that you take it upon yourself. To meet the expectations of the other, while remaining free in its manifestations. Think about the person only the good through the choice to ascribe to it a plus or minus sign. To answer for his words, realizing what they can do, but while remaining honest. The task is more difficult than to teach an elephant to dance ballet in a China shop. The children are taught this. For them we are the real friends.
Just. In advance.
And that's strange, why some people we taken to close immediately and unconditionally, along with anyone keeping your distance? Some people, regardless of gender, we love at first sight, but to someone we are indifferent heart.
There are many theories about the unfinished karma, the collective soul that migrates from life to life embodied through a particular group of people and so on and so forth. At the time, being fond of esoterica I met a lot of different explanations. Maybe all the way. Does it matter? Most importantly, the spark jumping between people there and we're going groups. Looking like the ugly ducklings of your flock. And when we find... After the joy of recognition and the euphoria from the joint gain not all have the wisdom to appreciate it and keep. Included expectations and the war begins.
Remember how Antoine de Saint-Exupery, the Little Prince regretted that he gave up his Rose, because it was harmful and capricious. And only escaped from her realized that she had filled it with the planet of beauty and fragrance, but it is not appreciated. Appreciate your loved ones. Take care of them, pay attention to them, put in priority. I think what you say and be aware of what you think.
Some distance will not cut, and the bridges are not built. The spoken word will not return, and what he could do. Some wounds and hurt, no matter how much time passed. With age, to let people in the first lap harder and harder, and lose them very easily. published
Author: Elizabeth Kolobov
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©