Imagine that you are giving people a gift. Valuable, expensive, very good. The person is happy, perhaps even thanks you and continues to live on. And you, too, live on and rejoice. About "gifts" that nobody asked for, especially for readers says Elena Nagieva.
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But gradually you decide that you cost too much. And begin to wait for the receiver response is also an expensive and valuable gift. Better yet, roll him a bill, they say, look, I spent! Tried so hard for you! And you! Ungrateful! I told you all, and you give me nothing! You me for such a gift know how much needs! You tell me this or that needs!..
Your poor donee did not expect such a turn, he is not glad to your generosity. He could not imagine the gift he himself will have to pay. But you are dear to him are very expensive. It is even possible that you are the most dear to him. And he gets into a position where both outputs are not in his favor: if he's going to pay the bill, then he will be left with nothing; if you do not pay, you will arrive to him a deadly insult. Of course, what else? You are everything for him, he is nothing!
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This situation is disgusting the fact that the recipient of the gift it is absolutely hopeless. And the revolution is that this is a common scenario of relations between parents and adult children (or even adult).
Man gives birth to a child one to him known reasons. And the choice to give birth or not is doing himself. The child has got nothing to do with it. He, if I may say so, a creature bonded.
But it may happen that parents raising a child is difficult (and it is really difficult). And the parent wants some bonuses for this. And for some reason decides that these bonuses should give him the child, sometimes from the age of three. And the sooner the better. After all, "I gave life and you...!"well, a listing of what "you" have done or not done. Expectations, in short, is not justified. Mommy doesn't help, its difficulties do not understand, do not understand this, and in General — you're ungrateful!
And — attention! To finally teach you sense, get-ka you the bill for all of mommy's needs and difficulties. And let me live my life the way mom wants. Next to her, for her and for her, because you gave life, as in the song.
Recently, I was sure that this is the most logical and correct scenario in life. And not even questioned its validity. If one day my head creeps seditious thought that something here not so... As a result, I am happily married, with two children, with his beloved profession, I sit and write this text.
If this scenario is present in your life, in relationships with your parents, or you understand what thoughts do you have concerning your children — it's not too late to change. To be happy is normal. Receive bonuses for parenthood right now, but not then bring the child account and make them our debtors — this is also normal and quite realistic.