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Perfect partner
Bashny.Net
The imaginary "ideal" partner
"I think I met the perfect man, only his jealousy ruins everything"...
"She is a woman of dreams, the only problem is her mother who constantly interferes in our relationship, and my favorite there is nothing you can do about it"....
"It's okay, that's literally all understanding, if only did not drink from time to time – prices was not used to it!"...
"She's everything to me, without it I life not think, but her work is annoying me, always tear up three skins, exhausted, comes home..."
Such recognition of sound as an attempt to separate something unpleasant, not agreeable, the painful in man, from the man that has feelings. If there are feelings, there must be a perfect partner, and everything else it can separate. Man – separately, jealousy separately. Or a woman alone, and her relationship with her mother and the failure to build the border is something else external.
To separate from the man in his mind can be anything.
His work or Hobbies, excessive drinking, the unpleasant behaviors.
You can explain that it is like it does not belong to him, apart from that there is certainly a good man whom you love.
However, if you want jealousy, drinking, other problems have gone somewhere finally, I will disappoint you.
The ideal partner will never change if he is perfect.Some live with this for years: I take periodic drinks as a natural disaster, which we need to endure, suffer workaholism, trying to deal with an annoying mother-in-law, dutifully waiting out the jealous, repenting for the umpteenth time in the same...
If even want and try to solve the problem, all attempts to speak from the position where something unpleasant is perceived separately from the person – senseless. This is in your dreams it separately. As for your partner – very together.
Therefore, take courage and look truth in the eye: jealousy does not come to him out of nowhere and enslaved against his will. It is a consequence of his whole life, his experience, his trauma, his character and his ideas about relationships.
The drinks also didn't run after him myself. As problems at work – not that it "suddenly happened", and that formed as a result of some of her own fears, attempts to control and self-esteem issues. And mom – not just invaded the space of foreign relations, but because the daughter has not tried to build with her other grown-up border.
What you are trying to separate from your fantasies, referred to as the "perfect partner", all you are trying to dislodge from the space of your relationship is actually his or her inalienable at the moment property, which is organically woven into the character, behavior, and worldview of that person.
Even if he agrees with you and says, "Yes, if not for my jealousy"....
And thus you "help" him and to make himself an eternal problem. Because how can you decide what does not belong? How can I change what came from the outside, appeared regardless of the carrier? The maximum that you will be able in this situation to wait out a natural disaster.
The perfect partner, which you invent yourself, generally can not develop, he's perfect. Why would he then something to change?
What can be done in reality?Accept the fact, for starters, HE's jealous. He is peculiar for the reasons. What SHE doesn't know how to build boundaries and to defend their territory. What is it HE wants to gain from time to time. Or SHE needs a reason, this exhausting work, with all its defects.
Destroyed is this your relationship? A question for you. If you have an object of love could only be a perfect partner with a high probability, Yes. But then it is a hopeless situation – no imagination will not help to make the ideal of a living person, and if you go this way, a strong relationship will never happen.
If you still feel ready to love a real person, give, first of all, HE's responsible for the fact that you do not (yet) can do.
Of the person, for example, jealousy or binge happened, he would become a man, who himself is amassed. He will be responsible for their behavior. And therefore able to change it.
And this is the best help that you can give to your partner. Sometimes even this is enough to produce change in your own consciousness.And the answer partner... You can hardly predict.
But at least you will have the chance to learn: it is enough if he grew up to carry this responsibility.And at the same time to learn about yourself, how much you are willing to build adult relationships. Or continue to dream. published
Author: Anton Nesvitski
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: zerkalodushi.org/voobrazhaemyj-idealnyj-partner/
"I think I met the perfect man, only his jealousy ruins everything"...
"She is a woman of dreams, the only problem is her mother who constantly interferes in our relationship, and my favorite there is nothing you can do about it"....
"It's okay, that's literally all understanding, if only did not drink from time to time – prices was not used to it!"...
"She's everything to me, without it I life not think, but her work is annoying me, always tear up three skins, exhausted, comes home..."
Such recognition of sound as an attempt to separate something unpleasant, not agreeable, the painful in man, from the man that has feelings. If there are feelings, there must be a perfect partner, and everything else it can separate. Man – separately, jealousy separately. Or a woman alone, and her relationship with her mother and the failure to build the border is something else external.
To separate from the man in his mind can be anything.
His work or Hobbies, excessive drinking, the unpleasant behaviors.
You can explain that it is like it does not belong to him, apart from that there is certainly a good man whom you love.
However, if you want jealousy, drinking, other problems have gone somewhere finally, I will disappoint you.
The ideal partner will never change if he is perfect.Some live with this for years: I take periodic drinks as a natural disaster, which we need to endure, suffer workaholism, trying to deal with an annoying mother-in-law, dutifully waiting out the jealous, repenting for the umpteenth time in the same...
If even want and try to solve the problem, all attempts to speak from the position where something unpleasant is perceived separately from the person – senseless. This is in your dreams it separately. As for your partner – very together.
Therefore, take courage and look truth in the eye: jealousy does not come to him out of nowhere and enslaved against his will. It is a consequence of his whole life, his experience, his trauma, his character and his ideas about relationships.
The drinks also didn't run after him myself. As problems at work – not that it "suddenly happened", and that formed as a result of some of her own fears, attempts to control and self-esteem issues. And mom – not just invaded the space of foreign relations, but because the daughter has not tried to build with her other grown-up border.
What you are trying to separate from your fantasies, referred to as the "perfect partner", all you are trying to dislodge from the space of your relationship is actually his or her inalienable at the moment property, which is organically woven into the character, behavior, and worldview of that person.
Even if he agrees with you and says, "Yes, if not for my jealousy"....
And thus you "help" him and to make himself an eternal problem. Because how can you decide what does not belong? How can I change what came from the outside, appeared regardless of the carrier? The maximum that you will be able in this situation to wait out a natural disaster.
The perfect partner, which you invent yourself, generally can not develop, he's perfect. Why would he then something to change?
What can be done in reality?Accept the fact, for starters, HE's jealous. He is peculiar for the reasons. What SHE doesn't know how to build boundaries and to defend their territory. What is it HE wants to gain from time to time. Or SHE needs a reason, this exhausting work, with all its defects.
Destroyed is this your relationship? A question for you. If you have an object of love could only be a perfect partner with a high probability, Yes. But then it is a hopeless situation – no imagination will not help to make the ideal of a living person, and if you go this way, a strong relationship will never happen.
If you still feel ready to love a real person, give, first of all, HE's responsible for the fact that you do not (yet) can do.
Of the person, for example, jealousy or binge happened, he would become a man, who himself is amassed. He will be responsible for their behavior. And therefore able to change it.
And this is the best help that you can give to your partner. Sometimes even this is enough to produce change in your own consciousness.And the answer partner... You can hardly predict.
But at least you will have the chance to learn: it is enough if he grew up to carry this responsibility.And at the same time to learn about yourself, how much you are willing to build adult relationships. Or continue to dream. published
Author: Anton Nesvitski
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: zerkalodushi.org/voobrazhaemyj-idealnyj-partner/
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